lytung

being yourself is good at a different stage of the relationship....what happened to the "game" of dating that we all have to play in the beginning?

yes, tell her how you feel. Dont beat around the bush..there are enough things in life that we worry about and I dont like regret it badly in the future...I have regretted in the past of not doing anything when i had the chance...and i kept thinking about it afterwards when it was already too late!! sometimes its hard when you want to keep the friendship even though it doesn't work out..because there is a risk..but you really have to see if its WORTH the risk yourself. Nobody else can judge it better than yourself.

I am very similar to Princess also...i totally like to overanalyze a situation...when there is an issue between my bf and I , i think about it day and nite, and sometimes analyze the situation and/or what to say when he does this and that to me. I think it is unhealthy but it is also part of my personality to analyze and to organize things in my life...(part of being a virgo I have read) I do have some girlfriends who are NOT like me..so it is really a individual basis type of thing..(personality) ..but i do know that women are more emotional and process things differently from men...if you guys have read the book "men are from mars and women are from venus" you would understand men and women better...an important diference that the book talks about is the difference between how men and women react to stress. Men go into the "cave" (meaning dont like to talk, or share) and like to solve their problems by themselves ...whereas women solve problems by talking about it with their girlfriends or boyfriends, and talk out loud to discover a point..sharing and communicating (talking) brings us closer to the other person...and its really important to me in a relationship. Also, regarding what emptiness have to say..my bf has not said the 3 words to me either and its been 7 months...i am thinking about asking him the "do you love me" question but do you guys have any advice as to should i ask or how to ask? thanks ...

Hello everyone, I need some advice...i have been dating this guy for 7 months now...in the beginning everything was perfect, he was wonderful, and i love being with him....last month he went on a trip for 3 weeks and i really felt that i missed him and wanted to tell him that i love him when he came back, but I didn't....instead i pulled back my emotions a bit to see if he would get closer, but instead he pulled back as well. I have met his family after few months of dating him, and almost all his friends. I dont think he doesn't want to commit to me...but yet i feel that he's holding back on those 3 little words, and feeling that he's afraid of us getting too close. i am in love with him, but he still hasn't said that he loves me. I dont want to risk saying " i love you " first if he isn't ready, or if he doesn't say it back..I would feel devastated. I feel this is important for me that he tells me so because it makes me feel secured...i am somewhat insecured about relationships...I know in the past his gf cheated on him and hurt him badly, dont know if that's the reason why he wont open up too much. Some of my friends say i should ask him about how he feels about me, others think i should be patient and wait it out. What are your advices? I feel that because i pulled back, and he has also, things have been kind awkward between us and we need to have a talk about where we stand, but dont know how to start, and certainly dont want to push him even more that he would be totally scared that he would not talk and be in his cave. I dont know if i am making sense to you guys. HELP!!!

hi all, i have thought about this pretty extensively...do opposites really work ,or do similarities work better...and i ha ve been doing a lot of personality tests and research and the best site that describes it is this one: link removed besides that page, you can browse around and find more information about personalities and how they affect the relationship. If you want to take your own personality test, take it free here at: link removed although this is only theories, i do believe that some thngs in common and some things different are healthy for a happy relationship.

thanks a bunch for your thoughts...I think it helps me a lot to hear what other people have to say outside myself...like when you asked said that i need to "look inside and ask why i seek for perfection.." i really think its this silly promise i made to myself when i was soo deeply hurt, and disappointed...i said to myself that "I will not get hurt again, no matter what it takes" its silly because we all know that life is unpredictable and nobody knows the future, but since i made that subconscious agreement with myself, i would scrutinize every guy i meet and try to make 99% sure that he is the right one and not hurt me again. I think i shouldn't be so uptight about getting hurt, and just try to go with the flow and enjoy the time that i spend while dating guys. ..anyways thanks for your thoughts...

Hey lettinggo, this is pretty strange...i was feeling the same way you did..but the situation is the opposite...i am a chinese girl, and my ex was the white guy. I felt the same way about my ex the way you do...that he was perfect for me, and that we could do anything together and couldn't find someone else better than him. I broke up a year ago with my ex and i am still having trouble letting go...although i recently started dating someone else, i still dont feel the same about him compared to my ex. But i am trying to stop comparing to my ex to other people because everyone is made differently. I think once you start dating someone else and stop comparing everyone to her you will feel better. I do believe in that there is one or two loves in your life that you'll never forget but they might not be the ones you end up being with and that's just life....but think about it this way, there was a reason that you guys split up, and even though you feel now that you did the wrong thing, it was still a good reason you did what you did....because it was the best decision you could make in that time under that situation. Many times we dont make the best decisions in life, but the only thing we can do is learn from it and move on....because regretting wont make your life easier or help you move on...you have to forgive yourself that you made the wrong decision and start finding a new love! Hope this helps, and good luck!

I broke up in a bad relationship last year and i started dating this guy for two months now. It was the most hurtful, painful breakup i have ever had because i thought he was perfect but then one day he cheated on me. Anyhow, now i always compare this new guy with my ex and i dont feel that it is perfect, not even in the beginning. I have this theory that when you first date somebody, it should FEEL almost perfect, but it isn't...i think i have issues. Anyhow, the way i feel about this new guy is i that sometimes I feel he is great, awesome and the one for me, and sometimes i feel he is so wrong for me because we're so different. I keep feeling like this over and over, like going in circles. Any idea whats wrong with me? He on the other hand, likes me so much, and is willing to work out our differences. HE thinks i still haven't gotten my ex, and that it isn't fair to him. I dont think i want to go back with my ex, but i just compare him with my current one. I dont think there is anything worng since i am just trying to compare what qualities i want and dont want in a guy. What advice can you guys give me? Thanks in advance.