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Bingo72

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  1. All i can say is that it sounds like you are going to keep analyzing this but you've got to realize that you'll never feel good about this no matter if you think you finally got the truth or not. Because you think he's told you everything that you're not going to be spending your time with one eye on him just waiting for him to check out the next girl? Imagine this, you are both 30 years old, you catch him looking at a hot teenager in the store, do you think the memory of this won't come back and bite you at that moment? Look how much time and energy you've put into this one incident and your not even guilty of anything. If you're like this now with him you will always be this way with him. Do you feel like having to 'watch after' him all the time? That would be crazy.
  2. Why do you keep taking him back? That's the problem, if you've been with him 10 years and this is the third time that should tell you something. It sounds like he gets tired of the relationship with you and then goes out to get a 'taste' of someone new. What makes you want him back after he's been with other people. Sorry to sound so harsh but you've given him ten years of your youth, if being with you so far hasn't stopped him from moving onto other people then why would he not do it after 20 years.
  3. I hate to sound uncaring and abrasive here but I'm going to say it anyway. Get away from him and get the hell out of that neighborhood! Is this really a good enought life for you? You're not even married and look what you are going through. So what happens ten years down the road when he is 35 years old? There will be a new batch of 14 year old girls and I doubt that he'll stop checking them out. Be honest with yourself, you had the gut feeling that something is not right, I see your whole relationship is toxic and full of anxiety over this. It is only going to get harder. Sorry to be blunt but don't waste your youth on him.
  4. The only reason I can think of as to why he wanted me to catch him is because the weeks after the breakup, he said he was having a hard time letting me go. He'd call, sure enough I'd go over to his place. We couldn't stay away from each other. Knowing that this is the One thing that would permanently end it for me, I guess this is the only thing he knew to do to make that happen.
  5. Very short version here. We broke up, he wanted to work it out, asked me to come over only for me to walk in on him and his new girl in bed together (her overnight bag was sitting next to the bed). After this happened I saw him with her a couple of times over a two month period but she's already left him and he's single right now from what I think. Out of curiosity, what do you guys think goes through his mind these days? I certainly don't want him back, haven't spoken to him since and won't allow him to ever be in my life again but I am having such a hard time right now. It's been five months ago this happened. Do you think I even cross his mind? I don't know why I want to know any of this. Can anyone out there give me your opinions whether you've been in my shoes or in his?
  6. I think you should cut your losses while your ahead. What else was he doing while still talking and spending time with you?? I think you know that it's over with him, would you be prepared to get back togehter with him not knowing who or how many other girls he's connected with since your split? I sure wouldn't. If someone doesn't want me then they don't want me. I would not try to make someone want me, where's the good in that? I couldn't keep the thought of our bond being broken out of my head.
  7. I am very dissappointed that I haven't heard anyone here just simply advise you to tell the truth??????? What's so wrong with just telling her that you're not looking for a girlfriend, then she knows upfront not to expect anything. Is that so hard? I'd much rather have someone just tell me what's really going on instead of side-stepping in every direction. Do you see how you will inadvertently spend more time than you want to on this girl by playing games?
  8. My ex did similar things once he started to see that I wasn't coming back into the relationship and honestly, just ignore him because as long as he does this stuff and gets any kind of response from you-you are taking steps back. In my opinion he's a day late and a dollar short. If you are now broken up twice that should definitly be a sign that your relationship would always be tumultuous like this. Love shouldn't have to be that hard to maintain. It is a little weird that he has chosen these kind of things to do for you without discussing but if you just let it go then he'll hopefully give up soon enough.
  9. Sounds like he is having those mid life crisis feelings going on inside of him and is wanting to still feel desireable to you. No matter what his reasons are, he is being disrespectful to you. Yeah, everyone has someone that flirts with them etc, but it usually isn't something that he should run home to tell you all about. From my own experience, the only reason I would tell my bf about those things is because I wanted him to know that other men desired me still. I have jealousy issues and always feel insecure and I at least admit to it. However, if you confront him he would never acknowledge that is his problem too. I know I wouldn't. In the end it is disrespectful to you and you have to decide how much you will chose to deal with. Be careful though, telling him how you feel won't necessarily make it stop, he'll just not tell you everything. A real catch 22 situation.
  10. Sounds like she's on a downhill drag. Anyone who is in relationship and ends it, only to jump into another one and then become engaged that quick??? Sounds like she is looking for somebody, anybody, to fill a void here. I would hope she is not desperate enough to become engaged just to hurt you but it's possible I guess. Look at it this way. If she were happily engaged and enjoying her new relationship then why is/was she taking the time to continue fighting/talking with you over email? Whenever I have met and fallen for someone new, the last thing I wanted to do was 'inform' my ex of how happy I was, no matter if I had dumped him or he had dumped me. You have to realize that she's gone and the person YOU loved is now gone. You shouldn't feel ashamed or embarrassed because she is now engaged and with someone new. The best source of punishment is silence, by not acknowledgeing her at all you will hurt her more and she'll be left wondering why you aren't interested in her life anymore. The trick to is is that you really have to lose any interest you have in wanting to know what she's up to these days.
  11. I had implants in February of 2005 and I love them. I did alot, I mean alot of research before I made my decision. My opinions is that if it will make YOU feel better and you are not doing it to attract or keep someone, then go for it. You'll hear alot of horror stories about them but these stories are always from people that don't have them and don't know about the whole process. They just repeat what they hear on the news or alot of responses are from people that are jealous because they don't like that there will always be someone prettier out there that does something like this and now it makes them have to work at looking good. Here is a great source of information, this site forum/site gave me most of the information I needed from experienced people. link removed Good luck and don't let anyone make you feel bad for wanting to feel good.
  12. Like was said above, I think you are missing the person you once had. What you are missing is someone who you will never know again, someone that is long gone. If she did these things to you then that shows that she always had the propensity to become this way and do this to you whether it's now or two years from now. Just do your hardest to realize you'll never know that girl that you loved and miss and treat the situation as if that person is dead now, that's what has helped me the most. I have retained the good memories about my ex but then I stop it right there and remind myself that he is gone. It might sound a bit corny but when I act as if the person I once loved died then it helps me stop the feelings of anger and asking myself why this happened - I'll never know the answers because it doesn't matter now anyway. That person is gone. As for seeing her again, silence is the best form of punishment. Don't let her know what you are doing these days, don't let on to your friends that you feel so much hurt and they, in turn, won't inadvertently let onto to others that you are having a hard time with this. You probably feel like everyone can see right though you and knows all the things you are going through but don't, only you get to know what's going on in your head. Be proud of yourself for not jumping into a rebound relationship too. Those people that have the need to have a constant partner are the ones that tend not to be able to handle anything alone. That's scary, to depend on someone else to get you through life.
  13. And now I am testing out the dating pool again. I met a nice man about a month ago. He is very, very good looking, owns his own business as a carpenter, is 38 years old and is about eight months out of a three year relationship of his own. He is a good ole country boy, has the same basic interests as me. He seems ready to date, and most days I feel ready also. My problem is this; he has many great qualities, two of which are stability and the desire to settle down (two things my ex told me he couldn't provide since he has emotional problems) so why don't I feel a spark and sexual attration to this new guy? I can't tell if it's because I am not ready or that there just simply isn't going to be a spark with him? I have had three day-long dates with him doing simple things like hang out at his farm, go out to dinner and then just the "hang out and watch TV" date, all of which I liked doing with him and are my ideal way to get to know someone. I don't want to assume that it's just because I'm not ready and give up on him and that be the reason there's no spark or if there simply isn't going to be one. I am very confused here and would like advice.
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