GreenCupcake

I chuckled at that. I hope you don't mind.

Alright, I need to vent again. I admit, there were a lot of things you did for me. I didn't have a car at the time and you drove me everywhere (Which I'm very thankful for. You really went out of your way and spent a lot of money on gas which I also contributed to). You spent almost all your free time with me. You were always proud of me and let everyone know that I was your girlfriend. You loved holding hands with me in public or putting your arm around my back. You let me meet your main family as well as your extended family and you even let me spend time with you and your friends (I really miss your uncle and your grandmother, btw). When you would take me out on the boat, you always made sure that you put a towel on my seat so that my butt wouldn't get wet (even if you didn't have one). Whenever I needed to vent, you would listen to me even though you didn't know what to say sometimes. Whenever I wanted to do something, 95% you went along with it and didn't mind at all. In so many ways you were an awesome boyfriend. Although you were troublesome, you really went out of your way to show that you cared. I also loved the fact that you loved kissing and hugging me all the time. Your hugs were so full of warmth. Remember when we would lay in bed all day and watch South Park or just snuggle and joke around? You used to go nuts when I would surprise you with a tickle attack. One time I even had you corned and you playfully begged me to stop. Oh man, and remember that time when I asked you if I could put lipstick on you and you said the only way you would do it is if I kissed you with some on? I lathered up my lips with so much lipstick and kissed you all over your face. When you looked in the mirror, you were horrified when you saw all the pink marks but you got over it. Oh, and I appreciate the fact that you made me an omelette for breakfast one day even though you hate cooking. Oh yeah... Remember when you surprised me at work one day? One of our co-workers was showing me how to do something and you came through the door and snuck up behind me. When I turned around and saw you, I said your name out loud in excitement and walked over to you and gave you a big hug. Our co-worker smiled and said, "True love." (Ouch, writing that brought some tears to my eyes). The expression on your face was so pure. You looked like a guy who was really in love. You were so happy. I was nice to you, but in a lot of ways I was also very mean to you. I didn't understand why you had to lie and I didn't understand why you were such a pushover. I spoke to my mom the other day and she told me how she always thought that I was the one who got away with everything in the relationship. I was shocked when she said that. I thought that YOU were the one who got away with everything. But what she said is true. You never actually stopped me from doing anything. If anything, I was the one who ended up trying to stop you. In the beginning, I trusted you so I didn't really have to worry about anything. But when you lied, it really effected me. I forgave you the first time but it never really was the same. In a way, I became more controlling because I didn't know when you'd lie to me again. But you did, and things just got worse after that. No matter what you did for me, I could never accept the lies. For a relationship to work long-term, there must be trust. Sometimes I sit and wonder if you would have been more honest if I was easier on you, but reality smacks me in the face and I realize that you would have continued to lie either way. You took me for granted in that area. You trusted me but you didn't allow me to trust you. It hurts me sometimes knowing that I wasn't able to trust you the way I would have liked to. Maybe one day you will wake up and realize that you need to work on your issues. Maybe one day you will realize that trust is one of the most important things in a relationship. If you can't realize that, then you should never expect to be with me again. The only reason I'm writing this is because I don't want to deny all the good things you did for me. I just need to accept that good and bad things happened in the relationship and I just need to move on. It didn't work out. This is the last time I write about you in this thread (unless you contact me and I need to vent). Take care.

What is going on here? Seriously... (Silly vent. Proceed with caution) A while back, I found out that you created a Facebook account on the day that we met up (after the break-up). I thought, "Ok, that's weird" but I didn't think too much into it. I didn't have a Facebook account at the time so I found out using a relatives account (yeah.. I know). Anyway, a few days ago I realized that you didn't update your account at all until Christmas (which also happens to be my birthday). Coincidently, I created a Facebook account five days before that. The only way you would be able to find out if I had an account was if you checked my brother's Facebook page. And although his settings are private, you can still see who he recently added, and my name is on the list! What I want to know is this: Is this all a coincidence or did you manage to find out that I recently created a Facebook account and that tempted you to update your whole page and put "single?" I just think it's odd because you didn't update a single thing on your page for 3 months! Why do you care all of a sudden? And why did you choose to create a Facebook account and edit it on two significant dates? (The time we met after our break up, and Christmas/my birthday). I'm usually not one to care about these things but I get this feeling that something tempted you to do it. No one holds off on something for three months and just decides one day, "Hey, let me update that!" unless something triggered them to do it. Somehow I get this strange feeling that you want to talk to me. It's not going to happen through Facebook though, that's for sure! You won't be hearing from me, so if you have something to say, you have to get in touch with me first. That's the only way.

Alright, so I drank a little bit but I'm still able to function normally. I just had to get this out. So... it turns out that you are actually single and you developed a bad habit of smoking cigarettes. You only used to smoke cigarettes once in a while, but you mainly did it when you were under a lot of stress and you needed to calm down. So why are you smoking all the time now? I heard that you smoke when you get to work and when you are on break. I can only assume that 1 of 3 things are going on here: 1) Now that we have broken up, you are doing whatever you want to do and taking advantage of being single 2) You hate working there again and you smoke cigarettes to calm your nerves 3) The break-up did a lot of damage and you can't handle it In a way, I think it's all of the above. The fact that you are back at the place we BOTH used to work at must get to you sometimes. We shared SO MANY memories there. Remember when we would kiss in the aisles when no one was looking? Remember when we would go on break together, and when we would goof around? I bet it eats at you every day. The fact that YOU dumped me and didn't want to fix the problems we had must also eat at you. I know this sounds kind of mean, but I was happy when I actually realized that you weren't doing as well as I thought. I'm picking up my life and thinking positively whenever I can, and you are just being self-destructive. I should have known it would be like this. Everytime something serious happened (that involved me), you became distant and self-destructive. Remember when I quit the job the first time and you didn't see me for six months? You told me that you were pissed off because you thought you missed your chance to go out with me and you didn't know if you'd ever see me again. Because of that, you started doing crazy things. Then when I came back, we eventually started talking again and you admitted that you liked me. Remember when you thought I found someone else and you got so upset that you couldn't even talk to me? Well, I explained to you what happened and you were happy as a pig in sh*t. Remember when we were going out and you lied to me the second time and I dumped you out of anger? You smoked weed and drank for the three days that we didn't even talk. And then when I took you back (goodness knows why), things were never the same. I couldn't trust you anymore. Remember a month later when we argued and I told you to find someone else? You drank and smoked that whole weekend and ignored me. Then you dumped me the next day. Even when we met up a few weeks after the break-up and you looked like crap, you told me that you were drunk and high the day before. Then, later on that day you had the nerve to tell me that you never got over the break-up and were suppressing your feelings with weed and alcohol. You're an insecure wuss. You thought I was so much better than you and because of that, you didn't even want to try and just gave up. You coped by becoming self-destructive. You're such a pushover! You never once said, "Hey (my name), this bugs me. Let's fix this!" Instead, you just kept quiet and got mad at me when I would express myself. You know what pisses me off? The fact that I gave you more credit than you deserved. When we were going out, you always used to tell me that you would do whatever it takes to keep me. But you gave up so easily. But it's ok I suppose. Although it bugs me sometimes, I'm able to function normally and carry on with my life. It seems like you are the one who is really suffering. That doesn't mean I'm going to contact you though. You still never apologized for treating me the way that you did. I have too much self-respect to contact someone like you.

Your ex sounds like an idiot. He should learn how to be a better liar if that's how he plans on getting away with things.

Oh man... I guess that's a good and bad thing.

Hahhahaha On a serious note though, I wonder if being really good looking causes problems in a relationship. My ex was very insecure and admitted that he didn't understand why I was with him. He said I could get any guy that I wanted. Did you experience something similar?

Oh, that was a good one! Sometimes I feel that way too. I'm pretty high up there in the looks department so I don't think my ex will ever be with someone who is better looking than me. Although looks aren't everything, it helps knowing that I will always win in that department

Don't you just LOVE when they do that? My ex pretty much did the same thing.

dobbin, I love your post! That's pretty much how I feel.

I'm sure it's only temporary Sometimes it helps to think why you were too good of a person for your ex.

Aww thanks. It still hurts sometimes though. I'm sure you will be able to feel the same way one day. Everyone heals at different paces.

stevef20, I love your signature. Hang in there!

Ahhh... I finally feel like I have a bit of closure after finding out all these things recently. It's almost embarrassing to think that while you were out there exploiting other people for an ego boost (and a little bit of game-playing I would assume), I was trying to move on without any answers. There really is nothing special about you. The only good traits you possess are your semi-good looks and your super tall height. I remember when we were still working together and one of our co-workers told us how people were talking behind our backs, saying they didn't understand how I ended up with you. But I was so blinded by 'love' that I didn't really care. But now when I think about it, holy crap they were right. What on earth was I thinking? Guys hit on me and stare at me all the time. You witnessed it with your own eyes. You know I could have picked anyone that I wanted but I picked you. Let's be honest here. The only reason you went out with me is because you wanted to show off your 'hot girlfriend' to everyone. You didn't actually care about being in a relationship with me. It's a shame because I'm also intelligent, loyal, have a good personality, a great sense of humor and I was a damn good girlfriend to you before you betrayed my trust. Then you saw the fierce side of me, the side that bruised your ego tremendously and caused you to blame me for everything. Deny it all you want, but you contributed to the mess in our relationship and gave up on a good girl. I'm not sure if you're going out with your best friends female friend, but if you are then what a shame that is. Instead of finding someone better than me, you (would) have picked a girl who does different kinds of drugs and sells weed. Good for you! You can get free weed whenever you want. Oh, wait a minute... Is it possible that you are actually using her because there are benefits involved? I forgot that you're not actually capable of loving someone - at least not at this point in your life. Oh, and it's funny how you're hanging out with our female co-worker again. The one who had a crush on you. Remember when you said she was kind of fat and that she shouldn't be liking other peoples boyfriends? Her feelings sure would be crushed if she knew all the things you said. But even if someone told her about the real you, she probably wouldn't believe it because you're such a manipulator. She is pretty naive though. After all, she doesn't mind hanging out with you and her boyfriend in the same room so what does that really say about her? It is kind of sad because her boyfriend hit on almost every girl (including me) before they even went out. She thinks she's special but she doesn't realize that he only settled for her because no one else gave him a chance. All I would have to do is send him a text, flirt with him a little bit and he would probably ditch her in a day. There's no point in doing that though. To think I wasted so much time thinking about you. Ugh...