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lillady898

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  1. Ah, good point. But I've always thought of race as more than just skin color, such as maybe genetics? I'm guessing everyone has their own definitions of race and culture.
  2. B, for sure. I'm attracted to people of all races, but I can see myself attracted to some races more than others. I find Europeans way more attractive than most U.S. men; however, I've actually only dated 2 Europeans (the rest were white, with a few black). So, I'm very open-minded about it and race is never a dealbreaker, although I do have a tendency towards certain races.
  3. Very valid point, itsallgrand. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I've never actually asked someone out myself. Usually the other guy pursued me, and that was only after seeing the guy over and over (friends of friends usually). I'm guessing I'm way out of practice when it comes to this, and it doesn't really help that most of the people I meet are 1-2 hours away from where I live. Eh. As far as this goes, jurupa, this wasn't the case. It was more like he would talk, ask a question, I would answer, ask a question, and so on. I know better than to go on and on about myself without being attentive to the other persons' life. Sometimes I would ask him to show me how to do something, and he would take my stick and show me. I listened intentively, reitterated some of the things about him so he knew I was listening, laughed with him, he laughed with me, and so on. I didn't bother with the whole touching him because I just met the guy and it'd make it a bit awkward to be all over him when we were both in our hockey gear. Overall it was a very fun time, and he was very sweet. I think that my ability to flirt doesn't cover my personality at all, actually. I just lack the ability to show whether or not I like guys as more than friends, and would like to know how to do that. And I'm guessing the best way to do so is just as itsallgrand said, actually asking him out. Practice makes perfect. Thanks for the replies.
  4. Now, I feel ready to date around and see what's out there after getting out of a bad relationship. I have no problems at all when it comes to sparking conversation with guys. I can have great conversations to a point where I have friends saying, "someone looks like he's developing a crush on you." Just recently I met a really cool guy, who seemed to be as into me as I was into him. It was at a hockey event, and while sitting on the bench we nearly heard eachother's whole life stories within the span of an hour and a half. When some of my friends would come by they would give me and encouraging smile, one whispered that I snagged a hot one. But did I snag him? No. I had him playing with the bait, but I couldn't set the hook. Why? I don't know how to seem interested, even if I am genuinely interested. Before this guy in particular left there was an awkward pause until he finally said, "It was nice playing with ya'" and we parted ways. I'll probably never see him again, unless I'm lucky, of course. It's kind of discouraging. I know what you're probably thinking. Just ask guys for their number when youre talking to them. I freeze when it comes to that part. I clam up during the deciding factor of whether or not we will see eachother ever again. How can I get the guy to ask me for my number? Or how can I do it myself? What am I missing here? I can flirt all day and night but I rarely have anything to show for it.
  5. You're really not a bad person at all. You didn't like the situation and you got out of it. That takes a lot more guts than you think. From what I gathered, it wasn't just the fact that he was hanging out with his dad made you unhappy in the relationship. The couple of situations with his dad that there were just made you snap... a biproduct of built frustration. He wasn't making time for you any part of the week, including the weekend. Why? Because he wanted to hang out with his friends. It's understandable if he wants to hang out with his friends, but it's not a good sign when it means he won't set any time aside for you. If it wasn't right for you, you did the right thing. It's never a really good idea to hold onto something for what you think it could be, particularly if the other person doesn't seem willing to make changes (or if they don't even think anything is wrong).
  6. Getting him to stop alone is very unlikely (if not impossible). Getting professional help for him is completely different--and the only way that he can get necessary help. If he resists that, I definetly think that leaving is in order.
  7. I was going to transfer to Alaska Fairbanks from Michigan, but the reason I didn't make the move was because of the costs of food, gas, etc. I was able to find cheap housing as a student by living on campus, but everything else was just unbeleivable due to the fact that everything is imported.
  8. Hopefully it's to help him find professional help. Drug abuse is a bigger problem than many people are willing to admit. Not only for the abuser, but also everyone around them.
  9. A lot of the costs vary depending on where you live. For instance, in the US the cost of living is wayyyyyy higher in Alaska than, say, Indiana.
  10. Wow, how weird, I was wondering the exact thing today. I've never been on a blind date... I've always met guys in person before going on an official date with them. I'm really curious about how they're even really set up... I know a lot of my friends' friends so I don't know how they even work out to be "blind."
  11. This isn't a problem you can fix-- He should really be seeking professional help. Maybe you can start helping by looking up rehab center in your area or by telling an adult you can confide in about his "habit." I know you really want to help him and that you truly care about him, but look out for yourself too. This is a very tricky situation. Drug abuse is extremely scary and unpredictable.
  12. Use your surroundings and the people around you to figure out something to say. When I go to drop-in hockey or some sporting event, I usually resort to trash-talk... In a joking manner, of course. I'll say something like, "Already trying to start something?" with a little nudge in the back or "You can probably go for a lower flex [of his stick] next time." If it does nothing else, atleast they usually smile. Personally, sporting events are generally the easiest place for me for me to meet people because there are thousands of ways to start a conversation ("Is that a Canadian accent I hear?" "Who are you rooting for?" "Nice stick/skates/gloves" etc.)
  13. I know a woman who was on birth control and used a condom, but still got pregnant.
  14. Thanks for all the replies. Although I wouldn't wish for anyone to ever have nightmares, it's nice to know that it's not uncommon to have a string of nightmares. As for the stress... I may be going through some stress, but the odd things is that in the past I have dealt with much more without the nightmares. Possible stresses: I'm living with my family for the summer and due to house renovations, I'm sharing a room with two of my four siblings; My parents are actually resisting the fact that I'm looking for jobs/internships/etc. so we can spend more time as a family "for the last summer;" I can't get any student loans because my parents make too much money and I can't become an independent for health care reasons; I'm currently in the process of transferring to a different college; I'm in a long-distance relationship with my boyfriend, whom I'm in the middle of an argument with and have been for the past three weeks (not looking up)... But relative to other people's problems, I really think my problems are very petty.
  15. The last couple of weeks I've been having the most terrible dreams. Usually they involve someone chasing after me and trying to kill me. One dream was particularly scary as I was walking down a dorm at the university I attend and their was blood covering the walls. There was no sign of life because there was some demon or spirit driving people to kill themselves. I walked by a closed door and heard a voice talking to my little sister about some hockey stars she's in love with and I knew that the demon was trying to lure my sister into death. I went in and tried to intervene, but it was too late for my sister and the demon jumped out of the TV in human form, with guns. Then I woke up. Other dreams include one of the little girls I help out with at an elementary school was kidnapped from the fair when I was supposed to be watching her. Another dream was with my boyfriend cheating on me, laughing at my naiveness, tying me up, him and the girl kicking me, and then throwing food on me. Last night's dream I woke up from three times, but every time I feel asleep it would pick up where it left off. I was at the Grand Canyon or some canyon-like landmass where a gang of men was shooting at me. Somehow I ended up at home where a girl that I don't know picked up on the shooting and killed my family. Then a larger group of people came and tried to hurt me, and I would shoot back, but nothing would happen to them. There are a couple of other dreams that I've been having, but I won't get into them due to the fact that my post is already long, and probably deranged-sounding. I'm worried to go to sleep because I wake up shaking, cold, sweaty, and scared. I have no idea why I'm having so many nightmares these past couple of weeks. I feel helpless--as if my subconscious is out of control and won't give me a break. Any help or any direction to help, would be great...
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