Trigve

thanks it's nice to know it doesn't bother people. my hands don't go blue or anything lol. I don't really even notice they're cold until I touch someone else's hands and notice they're warmer

I don't think I'm mammal, I have ice cold hands and I know that because other people's hands always feel really warm or even hot when I shake them. and it doens't matter if it's summer or winter, my hands always seem colder than others. my hands are fairly dry so it's not clammy or anything, and I have pretty strong handshake. it's just... cold. does it bother you guys when you shake a really cold hand? is it uncomfortable? I can't figure it out myself because I've never really shaked anyone's hands that's colder than mine.. maybe I should try to warm it up before I shake hands, but that can be kind of difficult to do

you sound like a really nice girl and I think sooner than you think there is going to be guys lining up to go out with you, which will take your mind off whoever it is you're worrying about right now. The bigger thing then to worry about would be not selling yourself short. despite what it looks like, I'm not trying to tell you to think that it's his loss, I know it doesn't help, especially for the kind of person you are. I know if I really care about a girl and things don't work out, realizing its her loss just makes me feel even worse. I'm saying it seems you just need someone to ground your life and that person doesn't have to be him. like whoever posted before said, take it one small step at a time, and before you know it you'll be free.

well I think however you define love, it's not going to come out to equal simply an attraction. so I would say if you only believe in "attraction at an instant", then that's not the same as "love at first sight".

hey Empathy I don't have any advise for you but I just want to let you know reading your post actually helped me instead. I went through an awful lot of pain this summer and even though I hated it, your post reminded me that it's a good thing that at least I was able to gain this learning experience in the summer when it wasn't screwing up my education and that made it a little better. on the other hand though, if I had been in school and occupied with school work I probably wouldn't have been so hung up about a girl in the first place, lol, it's hard to say... but anyhow, if I had to choose between education and some girl I'd take education in a second. so I guess I'd rather take the pain than risk messing up school.

yea but aren't most attractions happen within a few seconds of meeting someone anyway? then how is LAFS any different just stronger attraction? that's it

so what are you guys thoughts on love at first sight? personally, I WANT to believe it just cuz I'm a hopeless romantic. but at the same time I think if sometime like that happens, what you're feeling is not actually love, but rather just an overwhelming general excitement and infatuation, which I think are quite different things. so I guess in a way I don't really believe it, I think to truly love someone you need to get to know them and have spent enough time with them to grow some sort of attachment. but then again, if you believe in metaphysics and karma or whatever higher conscious order of the universe, then that's a different story. so in conclusion-- I guess I don't really know if I believe in love at first sight...

i don't think shampoo on men has too much effect, since most men have fairly short hair, not much smell stays with you if you wash the stuff off properly... hair gel though will stay with you for longer (maybe an hour or two). but I like the smell of my hair gel, it's that green stuff from herbal essense it's got a fresh grass smell to it.

there's no movie theater within 30 miles? are you kidding me well, ask her out to go climb trees or something then are there trees within 30 miles?

yea that's a reason why I used to absolutely hate perfumes/colognes and stuff like these, cuz most people put on way too much. being trapped on a bus beside someone like that is a horrible experience. but there were also once or twice I found someone with a tiny bit of scent to be very pleasant, I don't even know if it was perfume though, it could've just been the smell of shampoo...

but what about the personality it conveys? does it seem a little pretentious that a guy wears it? Personally I'm not really into girls who wear perfumes, cuz it gives a "formal" impression that I just don't really like. but girls don't seem to think the same way that's why I'm asking.

like it? don't like it? what impression does it give you? are you attracted to the kind of guy that wears it or the kind who don't? and if you like it, what kind do you like and why? it can be anything from a general kind of smell to specific brand, etc

when and how I would use these words to describe a girl, and what I mean when I do Sweet: when I describe someone is sweet, she is just genuinly nice and I find her pleasant to be around. not neccessarily attraction. Cute: I would use this word for someone I'm interested in, especially in the initail stages. cute mostly has to do with appearance, like if she's pretty in a way that I dig Cool: doesn't have much meaning when I use it Nice: it can have no meaning, but it can also be the word I use when I'm trying to pretend I don't care about someone Hot: sexually appealing, but in an impersonal way. nothing more than eye candy, I wouldn't use it to describe someone I'm interested in. Adorable: one step up from cute, includes personality with looks and just the way she talks, moves, etc. depends how I say it, it can mean I just think they're adorable in a lovely way, or it can mean I am extremely interested in a long term sense Fine: I don't use that word. it kind of feels disrespectful to describe a girl as fine. I dunno. my 2 cents

that is very true, but also a very hard thing not to do. like you said, We make some assumptions to fill in what we don't know, that's just what our brain has to do to form a complete picture. I realize I do that, but sometimes you just have to make assumptions to be able to make the calculations. most people are just way more fuked up than they appear, especially the ones that seem perfect. When I meet someone who's practically an angel, I think to myself NOBODY can be that nice, I just don't have the necessary information to know how to break that image, that's all. I totally understand about how she'd say she isn't as nice as people think she is, I totally understand how there are things she does or thoughts that she thinks are "inappropriate" and how they would make her feel. I know the feeling, and I think she just wants you to see. When people look at me, they think I've got everything and I have it all figured out. I really don't, but I don't care, that's fine most of the time. But when a girl I care about is intimidated by this shallow image and can't get close to me it just kills me. and I just want to tell her, I want her to know so bad. I want her to see the real me so she knows ME, not my image. The image is for all the rest of the world, to keep them at bay, it's not for her. She's different, I want to let her in and trust her with the key because I've been trying to keep everyone else clear of my safe space for too long and I'm tired of living alone. Do you see what I'm saying? and I think that's what your ex was longing for, a friend, in a world full of strangers. the despair of reaching out to nothing can be so disappointing, it isn't easy.

wow it seems like we are quite a bit alike. the girl I was talking about in my other thread (the one titled: this is how it went) is kind of like your ex gf too, and also in similar situation. sometimes she seemed so nervous around me it made me think I was hurting her just by talking to her and I felt bad about it. after we got to know each other a bit more she was more at ease but still kind of timid and I just didn't know what was going on. she seems pretty confident, but just timid, I don't know what to make of it. I'm thinking maybe she was just uninterested. but anyway, I don't think I'm quite at where you are at. A lot of thoughts have been stirred up by reading about your experience and there's a lot more I need to learn I guess one thing I'm not quite doing well is meeting enough people, but hopefully that'll change when I go back to school in the fall. Still, I'm pretty horrible at wanting to get out more, I could meet a lot of people but not actually meeting any at all (ie. know their names, see them twice a week in class, etc, but never really hang out with them otherwise). But at the same time I think I'm ok at interacting with girls when I do go out. I actually find them easier to socalize with than guys because there's just an intrinsic attraction between any man and woman that you could use with them... don't have that edge with guys. so i don't know, this can be pretty discombabulating at times. it seems like I have everything I need to be successful at this, yet I've ended up probably worse off than 98% of the population. all I can tell myself is I've got attitude problems, and maybe it's bad enough that I have to change my personal philosophy one day when I realize it.