feenyx

What went wrong, you ask? It wasn't that you lost respect for me. You never had it in the first place. You disrespect me even now with your emails. Getting me involved in some nasty love triangle while you're in a "dead-end relationship" with the girl you left me for. And I refuse to answer because this is a lesson you must learn yourself. You can't lean on my strength anymore. It's unfair to even think you could reap the benefits of my kindness. I recounted the times you broke my heart. Some incidents you knew of and others I kept to myself because I didn't want to rock the boat. The whole ex-GF situation and how it unnecessarily permeated into our supposed relationship. Knowing that you tried things with her and when I wanted to try things with you, you'd always say you tried it already with her. Breaking up with me all those time just so things were fair with her...going back and forth between us and making me the doormat. The wedding bouquet and how you said "Just because you caught the bouquet doesn't mean that you're getting married to me." My first baseball game and knowing about your sexual emails with your male lover when we were going through a "rough patch". The threesome talks and feeling sexually inadequate all those times. All the Valentines we shared and being disappointed each year because you just refused to be pressured into anything. Not having any written sentiments for my graduation. Never supporting me when my schedule was tough (no meals ready for me, no license to even nap or rest...) The New Years' party where we never kissed. Crying after your best friend teased me because I knew she understood you better than I and that you respected her more than you respected me. Rejecting my gift that I went through so much trouble to get. Not hearing "I love you" for three years. And finally...the girl you invited to that charity event to get cozy with while I was grieving the death of someone dear to me. What makes you think that you're that important to me? That I would drop everything to help you like I used to? That was my mistake. I should've had a tougher spine when I was with you. If I did, we would've ended a lot sooner. I pity you so much right now and that ugliness will only go away when you go away. I want you to disappear from my life, that's why we couldn't stay friends. Don't play the sadness card. You could've stopped me all those moments I packed my bags, when I carried off my stuff. But you know, even then, I had enough. I would've left anyways. You hurt me way too much to have me back broken like this. The whole relationship was about you, focused on you. When I get an arm blown off, I'm expected to brush it off, yet when you get a paper cut I'm expected to tend to your wound for hours on end. I am not your mother. I can't make you feel better about this. 4 years means nothing when you've been cheated on. I am not one to recover from that kind of thing. I don't miss you. I don't dream of you. I don't want you because you're a child. You're too scared to look into your own ugliness and admit that you have done so much wrong to me. You sapped enough of my life already. You don't deserve any more. I have pride. I am beautiful, strong, and extraordinary. If you couldn't see that while being with me, that's not my problem. So when you ask what went wrong with us, you should ask yourself what the @#$% is wrong with you?