Taomagicdragon

If I were to make a list: 1 - Love (emotional connection) 2 - Intelligence 3 - Humour 4 - Conversation 5 - Hobbies 6 - Physical intimacy

To me, that "data" could imply that they were going for convenience or a release, void of emotional or even long/great physical attraction. It also can not be discounted the chance that they do it as an insult to their partner in the cases of spiteful cheating.

Most relationships fail due to a lack of trust fostered by a lack of communication, this can lead to cheating, issues in compatibility, and jealousy. However there is a choice in cheating, an independent element where you choose to go behind someone's back and exploit their trust knowing the consequences (alcohol or "being in the moment" are excuses I hear often from people who engage in this behaviour and, honestly, those reasons are as fake and contrived as the relationship they're in). No, I'm not referring to any specific poster on this thread so, moderators, this isn't a flame. (Love having to give disclaimers)

So long as both people hold that to be true then yes. After all, if sex means nothing to a couple than they have another aspect as their barometer. Replace sex with intimacy (of any kind pertinent to a relationship) and I agree fully.

I shall break it down then. The part I quoted was the piece of your post I was initially refuting. It wasn't placed in the context of what you would want but, instead, was given as a truism, especially with the do in caps. I was overjoyed to hear that what you said and what you meant weren't synonymous and thought that phrasing it (in the future) so that people don't take your words as a mandate instead of a personal anecdote would be beneficial. On a plus note it'd get me off your back which, I feel, you'd enjoy.

Didn't get you wrong by the above quote's indication. I'm overjoyed to hear that this line wasn't intended to be a mandate though perhaps a preface stating your above reply would've been a better way to word it.

With any respect that is due, you do not have to have sex with a person if you love them and just because your experience taught you that does not mean it holds true to someone else. Sex is a powerful expression of love but it does happen that one person, or both, may be incapable of having sex. Does that mean the love will die because sex is no longer an option? Of course not. Sex is a great thing but is by no means any more mandatory than any other part of a relationship in that it's up to the discretion of both parties, not the opinion of a divorcee with ten years of experience because I am certain other people have other experiences with more years to back them that are different than yours; doesn't make theirs any more right than yours but it is just as wrong as yours in the context of what other people "should" do: each couple, and the importance of sex for them, is different.

Last night Aviator was seen fleeing his residence from a half naked woman wielding a frying pan. More details tonight at 11pm on your local news channel. Now back to your regular ENA programming.

The comedy sketch by Dane Cook called DJ Diddles chimes through my head reading this thread..

Not everyone masturbates (I don't). For me, it's because I have no interest in it and feel no drive for it (same with sex). As for the OP, Masturbation may not be your thing, nothing wrong with that at all. As for the making love aspect, perhaps you have some stress or are thinking about something. The body reacts to thoughts. But, if you're in the mometnt and relaxed/comfortable, then I would consult an OB/GYN to be on the safe side. I;ve heard of this before with two of my friends and they tried role playing, getting their minds in different mindsets seemed to help, so try that if it helps (they share way too many personal expeirences with me, heh, they tried the teacher and student roles). To cedar, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to masturbate and if he;s depressing you or calling you abnormal, then you need to have a serious talk with him about it. You are perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong with you. As for the sex, make him buy the condems. Just make sure he stops cutting you down (same with his family) becuase that doesn't make for a bright future. You are perfectly normal and are not somehow psychelogically off just because you don't want to masturbate.

"So... Jesus sure has big wood" You could open a talk with that if you really wanted to The important thing is if you have an interest then let her know at a church function or some time after service.

Thank you all for the concern given thus far.. I just feel that abuse that has gone on for a decade is jsut too much... I fgiht it make progreess than a week later I'm bback to square one.. it happens time and time again

Growing up my family has never been particularly nice people though they weave an illusion of it for the public. I never subscribed to that illusion for I have been abused in different ways since I was old enough to walk. My father did things to me and my body I will never forget... He also physicaly hurt me with every device he had in possesion and would laugh manically has he had his way with my mutilated living corpse... My mother allowed it and even at times I feel as though she cheered it on... for I was the child born into the role as the son they never wanted. I was silent about all that happened up until I was `16. Then I met people that were truly my friends and I told them about it. They were i ntears over it and they did their best to get me through it. But it failed. I am now 19 and and am truly a miserable soul waiting to die. My mother has refused me a loan to go to college for this spring smester and that leaves me in a feeling that i have hit a dead end. All I seem to do is ocmplain about what has and waht is happening to me because that's the only thing that ever kept me from hurting myself... it was m only release for it.. I clsoe my eyes even now and feel his hands on my living corpse. I have a girlfriend finally but I can't put her through al lthe msiery I've wasted my friendships on. I've complained ot the point where one firend doesn't believe me and another friend simply doesn't talk as she has nothing else to say to me. My other friends are to certain degrees sick of me and fall in ranges between not caring and feeling utterly spent trying to help me. I failed them truly and I wish I never told them to begin with.... I never complain to people that don't know. But here I am a miserable lonely soul who wasted all his friendships... I;ve seen therapists and social workers (all I rally can do without my mother being involved somehow) but nothing they have done works.... I;ve done personal self-help but that works for a week tops.... I;ve tried the advice of some of my friends... that's to no avail.... I am simply broken and am beyond repair.. people that think otherwise give me far too much credit... I have been honest tohugh with my friends.. no hyperbole.. no lies... infact if i did it for sympathy i owuld have given up when they started getting isck of me and not to thepoint where I am reluctantly invited to things liek parties (i tend to sit off ot the side and watch... i'm an observer by nature and it's how I feel comfortable at parties). I have taken jobs in the past and every cent I make goes to my mother for her "to take care of" meanign I rarely see a cent of it. I don't go out usually... In fact last time I;ve been out was at a new year's party that I basically spent sitting on a couch watching them dnace and sing and play little gmaes. All fun for mt to watch but seeing as it disturbs them... i probably should not have gone. Unless a miracle happens I will have to break things with my girlfriend and "pack up" my emotional baggage and let my friends go... let thme live their lives while I slowly die for that is all I feel I have left in me to do. Resign myself to the fact I am broken and that no soul can save me.. not even myself.

Open your mouth. Let the words vibrate through your voice-box. Use your mouth muslces and tongue to shape the noise into words. That's how you talk to a girl. Oh... you want subjects? Find some common ground and build on it. Talk aobtu the job.. the pay... the boss... interject some wit and watch ehr body langauge and her replies for any feedback noting interest.

You're petrified of her because she is a friend and you'd rather not risk it or are you petified because you've put her on a pedastal? Here's a clue: She's human! She is capable of being as nimwitted and bumbling as you appear to be and for all you know she's feeling the same. Though for all we know you're seeking permission of anonymous people in order to feel like you are allowed to do something... that's why most people ask for advice actually; to get permission and to feel validation in their want to pursue something to drag them out of their present rut. You like her then let her know in your own fashion or pray for the vice versa to be true and that she gets her act together if you're not going to bother. If you're not going to do something with your feelings then there is no point in having them. Unrequited love went out with jousting and the Thirty Years War. Go for it or you shall go for nothing and when you do the latter rest assured you'd get it.