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LaKings55

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LaKings55 last won the day on December 1 2011

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  1. I absolutely loathe myself every time my thoughts turn to you. Seriously, I'm getting ready to turn to electro-shock therapy to induce memory loss just to stop these thoughts
  2. I feel your pain, I was there too. Please, read The Journey from Abandonment to Healing by Susan Anderson.
  3. Wow, over the last few weeks you've hardly been on my mind at all. I'm actually kind of happy, lol. I no longer place the blame on either of us, nor do I feel ashamed about how low you made me feel, because I emerged a stronger, more confident, and determined man than I ever thought possible. It just wasn't right for either of us. I'm so happy to be going on vacation soon, to get some physical distance away from you, work, and everything (I really need a vacation). Then, soon enough I'll actually be moving away, and you'll have no idea what ever happened to me, lol. In fact, that's kind of comforting. It's almost surreal, like the whole thing was just a passing dream, one that both of us will only half-remember in the coming years. I am so grateful for this experience, the emotional hell you threw me into. I didn't think I could recover so quickly, and 6 months later I'm emerging more in touch with my emotions and with a clear focus who I am, who I want to be and where I'm going with my life.
  4. Why were you on my mind today? Why do memories have to pop-up? Seriously, nearly 6 months of NC, and yet you keep popping up, right when I need it the least.
  5. So now, after all that, and all the effort I've put into eradicating you from my life...you text my best friend to ask how I'm doing? Thank God he had deleted your number, because he forwarded me the text and asked if I recognized the #, and boy did I. You'll get no response from either of us. I know you're just curious about my life now, because you underestimated my resolve, but how dare you have the gall to seek information about me and peek into my life after everything you put me through. Just forget I ever existed, let me be, and let me keep healing and moving on with my life!
  6. I can't believe I saw you today while driving. I'm so glad you didn't notice me. It just sucks because all those emotions came flooding back. Thankfully I had a busy day to occupy my mind. I can't believe it has been almost 5 months since we last spoke. Part of me does still miss you, but I can't forgive you nor overlook your selfish ways, lies and mental issues. I know I can keep up NC forever, and I've already calmed down since earlier, but I honestly don't know what I'll do if you contact me. Maybe I'll respond, maybe I won't. I don't know why I keep thinking that it was my fault. I keep thinking that if I had just done what you wanted, walked away and not said a word, we'd be back together. Then I think, why would I want to be with someone that doesn't want me? Why would I want someone who makes everything, and I mean EVERYTHING a priority over me. It doesn't matter whether it was school, your dog, or getting your hair done. Everything came before me. I don't care who you are, no one wants to be alone that much. Maybe I was just that good-looking guy your family approved of because they hated your ex. So you kept me around, slept with me, lied to me, just to trot around your family on occasion. I got that apartment just 5 minutes away, and I saw you maybe once every two weeks for a couple of hours. Yet, when we were just friends and you were with that abusive psycho, you were driving 20 to be with him daily. I sincerely hope you never contact me, because I know I'll never contact you. Thanks for making a dude feel unappreciated. How many times did I fix your pc? How many times did I repair something at your house? How many times was I understanding when you wanted to be alone? Do you know how frustrating it is to have so many plans cancelled at the last minute? We were together way too long for games like that. You keep saying how wonderful I was, and telling everyone what a great catch I was, but your actions left a lot to be desired. Your an amazing actress. Look a guy in the eye, tell him he's hot, smart, funny and that you love him so much, but then toss him out like he's yesterday's garbage. Your a liar, a manipulator, and a selfish, judgmental, hypocritical b****. At least now I know I'm stronger, more focused, and less naive. Good luck keeping a guy around with your mental issues and selfish behavior. You may say you want the man to act like a man, but that's awfully hard to do when I had to walk on egg-shells to prevent you from shutting down all the time. I think you've been stuck in that house for way too long with nothing but your coddling mom, your sister and a ton of female animals, especially that little psycho dog of yours. Frankly, no dog should sleep in the bed, especially one that p***** all over it all the time. You need to get over yourself. Though hey, if you want to keep being the victim, be my guest. Like I told you at the end, why was it that you were all over your abusive ex, but the guy who actually cares about you you toss aside? Could it be that you like getting hit? Do you like guys who cheat on you? I didn't realize that to be a "man" you had to hit women. I'm tall, good looking, workout, play and watch sports, drink beer, hang out with the guys. I'm good with cars, fixing things, and great with kids. I was always taught being a man meant being strong, physically, emotionally, and morally. My mother taught me to respect women, to appreciate their beauty and softer demeanor, not to take advantage of them and hurt them. But you didn't appreciate that, you took it for granted. Once you mature a little, I'm sure you'll realize the mistake you made. It might take getting slapped around and cheated on a few more times. But hey, you might just get there. But it'll be too late. You had your shot. I could've made you happier than you'll ever realize, but you just wouldn't come with me on this journey. I truly am sorry for saying those things, but I was shocked, hurt and confused. Even then though, I never spoke ill of you even when you broke my heart. I just called you out on your issues. But you got your wish, and you were able to go to your family and tell them what a jerk I was and how I wasn't the great guy everyone thought. So, I'm gone, I'm climbing towards success without you, and I'm glad to be free of the burden you placed on my shoulders.
  7. Was it all just some kind of game to you? Why did you pursue me, throw our friendship to the wind, and then just throw me away like an old pair of jeans? Did any of it matter to you? Or is it that you love being the victim? I saw how you were with the abusive guy before me, I know that's what you want, and it's what you'll always have. Well, you underestimated me, you thought you had me figured out. You probably thought I was just some love-struck, spineless kiss a** who would stay just for the sex. We saw how that turned out didn't it? When you brought drama on me the day before a major interview, that was the last straw. I walked away. You knew when my interview was, and yet that didn't stop you. Couldn't wait just one more day, could you? What was it? Didn't want me moving forward with my life? Whatever, it doesn't matter. Women like you don't deserve men like me. You're as manipulative and selfish as they come. That's the last time I get played for a fool. So actually, I have to say thank you. Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
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