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sparkler624

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About sparkler624

  • Birthday 04/30/1984

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  1. Thanks everyone for your responses and advice. I two other questions: How should I bring up the whole thing? And do you have any suggestions on how I can avoid this all if Kate lives with me and Andy lives with my fiancee?
  2. Where do I start... My friend Kate is engaged to be married this upcoming June, she has been engaged for almost a year now. I am her maid of honor as well as her roommate. She has been with her fiance for about 4 years I think (highschool sweethearts). We are currently in our senior year of college and will be graduating in May, her fiance is also a senior in college but he goes to a school that is about 3-4 hours away. They talk on the phone everynight and see eachother every weekend. Here is the problem. My finace lives right next door and Kate has always kind of liked his roommate Andy. Nothing ever came out of this until recently. They always got along well and she thinks he's cute and what not. Andy is this type of guy that is very passive and sort of a push over. He is never the type to make a move on another man's girlfriend, infact he doesn't want a girlfriend. Over the past month Kate has been flirting with him hard core (laying on his lap, hugging him, always hanging out in his room and laying on his bed, etc.) and it has been making everyone feel uncomfortable. Then they sort of cooled it down. I found out that last night Andy spent the night in Kate's room. He supposively slept on the floor when she slept in her bed. But I guess she had been asking Andy for awhile to have a "sleep over". Now my questions are these: When you are engaged doesn't that mean you should be done engaging in this type of behavior? Should I tell her fiance (who is coming up here this weekend)? What should I say to both Kate & Andy? fyi: Kate is this type of person where if you piss her off she won't talk to you for like two weeks. And I already kind of told Andy what I thought about the whole situation.
  3. From what I'm gathering he doesn't seem to be the best boyfriend. If he isn't telling you things until way after they have happened, it kind of sounds like he is hiding things from you. If he was the best boyfriend he would be thinking about you constantly and you would be talking to him all the time. But from what you are saying this isn't the case. He is always going on and you two are rarely communicating. It sounds like you already know what you want to do (which is get out of the relationship), it's just a matter of you taking the steps to do it. You sound unhappy with how the relationship is going and you want to get away from the past. And if he isn't going to be moving into the future to be with you, then you two choices: stick with him and be prepared to miss him and wonder what he is doing, or break up with him and move on. I think the second choice is what you want from what you have been saying. It'll hurt for awhile, but you will most likely meet someone who is the best boyfriend.
  4. For some reason I feel like I want to keep punishing my boyfriend for things that he has done in the past. He did all of those things (like sleeping with a certian girl that I'm not fond of, doing drugs, etc) before he met me, but for some reason they still bother me. When we have sex I don't feel emotionally connected to him because of who he slept with before me. He is my first and only in the sex department, and she was his first. I think that because I wasn't his first that I'm not connecting with him on that emotional level, because we couldn't share his first experience with eachother (does that make any sense?). Sometimes when we do have sex I just keep thinking about him doing it with the other girl and it gets me out of the mood. He hates this girl now and totally resents ever being with her. And he has apoligized to me for hurting me (which it's not his fault because he didn't know me back when he made those decisions). So my questions are... How do I get over his past? Why do I keep wanting to punish him? How can I connect with him emotionally and intimately during sex? Any advice would be great. Thank you so much!
  5. Five years really isn't that big of an age gap, but it becomes stickier when you are still in high school and has been out of it for a few years. Chances are he is more experienced then you at this point and might try to push for other things such as sex. Right now your worlds might be too different, his is in the 'real' world and you are still at school. Your dad might not be so wrong with his stand on the whole thing, chances are he was in your shoes. He is only looking out for your best interests.
  6. I was wondering what one has to do inorder to truly and completely forgive someone's actions when they were done before he met you. My boyfriend did somethings before he met me, such as losing his virginity to another girl (who lives in the same building as us), smoking pot, drinking a lot, etc. I know that all of those were done before I was in the picture, and he has told me and proved to me that those were all in his past and that they will stay in his past. He is the most wonderful boyfriend there is and I love him deeply. But for some reason I just can't seem to forgive and forget. He has apologized numerous times, but I just can't seem to let it go. I really want to forget about it because when I do think about it it kills me. I honestly want to move on with this so we can reach a new level in the relationship and I can give him my whole heart. So my questions: How can I forgive and forget? How can I stop those memories from replaying in my head? Thanks!
  7. I have a few quick questions for you guys... How do you know when to end a relationship? How do you know when its over, in cases that don't involve being abused or cheated on? How can you tell if you've fallen out of love?
  8. Thanks guys. I just wanted to make sure. I feel a lot more relieved.
  9. I'm a little curious. Here is the background info that you will most likely need to know before you give me an answer. I have been sexually active with my bf for 7 months, I am on birth control (the combination set of pills), I try to take them around 9:30 am every morning but its not always at the same time, my period always comes on the 24th day of my cycle and lasts between 3-5 days. Now with that said here is why I'm asking. I had my last period on May 6 (friday) and it lasted til May 8th (sunday). I had sex this past saturday (May 14). My boyfriend and I used the withdrawl method, we always do this if we don't have a condom. This time though he wasn't sure if some of his semen went inside. He pulled out like usual and nothing came out of his penis. He said that he didn't realise in me, but that there might have been a few drops that came out. Now according to my calculations I should have nothing to be worried about, but it would really help to have someone else opinion. Thanks!
  10. The only thing that I can say is to wait before you do anything. If he wants you to know he will tell you, and if he does chose a school that is 500 miles away then of course he'd let you know. I think right now he is just weighing his options and he's not telling you what school he's going to because he might not be sure his self. He knows where you want him to go, but he might benifit and learn more going to a different school. Take it all one day at a time, you don't have to break up with him just because you speculate that he will be moving. If you two are truly meant to be together then all of this little details will work out. Nothing is written in stone, so don't stress yourself out over what may or maynot happen in the future.
  11. Hey guys! I'm having trouble getting over the things that my boyfriend did in the past. I mean, what he's done isn't horrible (smoking pot a few times last summer, and then losing his virginity to is ex who treated him like poop). He did all of these things before he met me, and I know for a fact that he would never do them again. I kinda understand why I get so worked up about him losing his virginity to his ex, and thats because I was saving myself for marriage, plus I went to high school with her and never really liked her. And the drugs bothers me because I was raised very "anti-drugs" by my parents. I just don't understand why they keep bothering me so much though and why I can't let them go. I really want to let all of that pain that it causes me when I think about those thingsI love him, but I subconsiously keep bringing those things up. He's a wonderful guy and he always tells me that that was his past and he wishes he never would've done those things, but it still angers/hurts me. Any suggestions on how to over come this would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
  12. You just sound relieved. It is completely normal to be excited when all of your stress goes away. Try to remain sympathic to your ex's and your family's feelings though, but then live it up!!
  13. I don't think you did anything wrong. It sounds like your this guy has a serious addiction to online gambling. He needs to get some help! I wouldn't take any of it personally. He probably broke up with you so that he would more time to gamble. Talk to him about getting help, that's the best thing to do. It's not your fault for the break up.
  14. If you have no desire to hang out with her then don't. You won't have any fun and you will be wasting your money. All you really need to do is go out and about. Try to find people who have your same interests and become friends with them. And if distance is an issue, you could meet your other friends half way and then hang out with them. You don't have to settle with this one friend that lives closer.
  15. I think what you might have is an infection. I'm not a doctor so I don't know, but what you've been saying makes me think that. Getting punched in the mouth wouldn't have caused this. What could have caused this was the breaking of "tonsil stones", it probably irrated the are. If you get really concerned then I would go to the walk-in clinic or the emergency room if it starts to affect your breathing.
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