LTS48

Day 3 Started out really rough. I mean really rough. Went for a workout, went to work. Left my phone in my car and was alright during the day. I think I will keep leaving my phone in the car. I know she won't text and I tend to check it a little obsessively still. Thought of nothing but writing her an email, contacting her one last time. But didn't. Feeling much better now. I guess contacting an ex is one of those things you SHOULD put off until tomorrow, even if you can do it today lol.

Boo, moment of weakness: I looked at her facebook. For some reason seeing her go on like nothing had happened hurt for a few seconds. But realistically what do I expect her to do? Sit in a ball in the corner and just miss me? I know she misses me. She looked awful in a few of her recent pictures, this gave me pleasure but I didn't dwell. Nor did I go back for a quick fix. Got a little bit stronger

I don't think I will say anything to you when we meet for the final time. No thickly veiled well-wishes or speeches. I said all I wanted to say to you the other night and you no doubt ran to tell anyone who would listen that I was a condescending * * * * * * * and that there is no way I could truly be happy to be away from you or that you found someone new so quickly. That I must be trying to seem cool and mature but you know better. Sad. That word does not describe my feelings toward you, but you yourself. I will simply greet you. Complete our business. Take one final look at you as I am entering my car, and smile. Smile for all of the good times we had. Smile for the memory of what our relationship used to be. You will be mad. You might even text, although I doubt it. I always told you I was good about going cold when I was done with someone. You are about to experience it. I secretly hope you get so angry that you remove me from facebook so I don’t have to see our future plans come to fruition with another man. But if you want to keep me around I will look and be happy for you. I will always be happy for you.

Day 2 Had an urge to text her this morning for some unknown reason. I didn't have anything to say, just wanted to text her. I didn't though so all is well. I was on fbook chatting around and her name popped up. No sinking feeling, no desire to look at her page and see what she's up to. Today will be a pretty good day

After a month of LC and one final meeting I have decided to throw my hat in here and try my best to keep track of how this feels. Most I've ever managed before was 1 week. Here's hoping to 30 days going on forever