CityHunter

I didn't propose to her. It's best not to influence her decision, but she got in the program she's interested in (but it's a bit tough for her). Although it's far away from me/her home, I'm visiting her now (for 2 weeks) and her parents have to put up a smiling face! (Remember her parents didn't allow her to stay out at night), and I'm sleeping in her dorm room everynight for 2 weeks! This 2 weeks is perfect since they got to learn each other's little quarks / living habbits!

Strangest - in a paddle out camp site, when everyone left, I went into the woods pretending to go to the outhouse, but strip naked in the moddile of the woods and masturbated ! Boldest - On a plane, right beside a hot looking girl. I used my jacket as a blanket to cover myself. I was so tired I ended up falling asleep ! Thank god the jacket didn't slip off my body!

Should have taken the invite. But seriously, if she can cheat on him, she could cheat on you too. EX are hard to get over, I can still remember so many little things of my first GF. But her face is so blurry in my memory now, I doubt I would even recognize her. Bottom line - are you willing to get back toegther with her?

Badmotorfinger, you might not like the answer. That will eat you up alive / hurt more than curiosity killed the cat. I did it with my GF, that's how I know. My GF accidentally leaked a few little thing of her past to me, it became an itch that cannot be scratched..... and I wanted to know more, a lot more. It's almost like a peeping hole, I was drawn..... I more I get, the more I wanted. At first I wanted to know how many times did they do it, then turned to how they do it, then how long did they do it, how big is he....... then I wanted to match them. I wanted to experience what they (the EXs') got, I even wanted to do it in the same parking spot that they did it, and I pushed and pushed to do it in a public bathroom........ In a way, I wanted to beat them, to be better than them. It's not very fun. I met 2 of her EX by chance, there was one I asked to meet, he's the most dangerous of them all, because he's a wild card. From my GF's description, I always imagined he was very good looking, big and tall (like Fabio on the romance novel covers), but when I saw him at first, I thought he cannot be the one. Dressed in crappy clothes, he just looked big and bulky (not in a good way). I got me even more down, because why would my GF picked such a crappy choice!!! And if she picked a guy with such a low standard, what could/would happen in the future!? Would she pick another guy like that again, it's a blow to the ego. But if he's like Fabio, it would worry me even more, either way it's a lose lose situation for me. He's probably laughing at me "Sucker, you got my sloopy second w/o knowing it. If you do, you're a even bigger sucker than me" My only comfort was I was able to get my GF to go camping with me (which he asked before and never got), it seems to un-nerve him so much he pretty much start babbling on non-sense and bragging he bagged a girl in the camping region before. There're times I would stay awake fuming thinking about what they did in the past (which I was helpless to do anything about), and it hurts SO MUCH. Imaging if she moaned the same when he was doing her doggie, thinking if she was as horny to him as to me. In short , don't ask about the past. Let it be. No good will come out of it. Knowledge will stay forever, but curiosity will eventually pass, you wil eventually laugh and say "it doesn't matter anymore"........ Rent Britney Murphy's "Little Black Book" if you want to know what could happen.

1) Talk to her about it, apply the same rules to both parties, if she can look, so can you. 2) She's only 19, I seriously doubt she's ready to settle down yet. 3) Agree on some common rule of "No touching", one can look but no touching is allowed. As long as you're just looking, less can happen. There're things I thought I could do, but after I had a talk with my GF, it's not exactly cool with her; but she understands it's better to let me do certain things (like watching porn) than to restrict me (like I can't have online/phone sex with anyone else other than my GF). You give and take, and pick battles that you can win.

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Sorry, Correction to 4) Girl #1 is my GF Now. See how easy it is to slip.....

I have to admit 1) I meet Girl #1 at work 2) I had a major crush on another girl #2 at work in another campus/location 3) Girl #2 turns out to be Girl #1's cousin. (I have no idea until much much later) 4) Girl #2 is my GF now...... 5) My GF told me intimate details of Girl #2 (her cousin) At least your "crush" will eventually move out and she'll eventually get out of your mind. For my case, my crush will always be in my life! I will sit opposite her in the family gathering table and got reminded she is something I cannot have. It didn't help that the cousin is prettier and skinner, and had a better figure., not to mention more feminine too......Unfortunately she's very devoted to her dead beat BF....... She can go on long trips with her BF, and my GF is not allowed to go on any overnight trips with me...... (it's a long story) She had no studient loan left and bought a car, while my BF still have a staggering $25,000 student loan!@#)!@#)!@# Consider yourself lucky.

I'm a Chinese immigrant (I came over when I was 16), but she came over when she's 4. I expected (unfortunately incorrectly) her to be more liberal than me, (since they are here a lot longer than I was), but it's the exact opposite. Her parents still lives with their old value in their bubble universe. The Chinese way is you don't uncessarily need to say things out loud to get something done. Her parents would not tell me directly to propose to her, they would PRESSURE her into telling/pressuring me into doing it. I hate to be pushed. They have pushed so many times before and I'm not willing to do everything they want us to do forever. They have been pushing and pushing, and I have been giving gound since day 1. My GF is caught in the crossfire as the messenger. And I don't think I'm asking for much, just some long weekend trips to go somewhere, go camping... which the parents have never done for her.

RayKay I think I'm in the same boat as your friend. For my father side of the family, everyone is very distant with each other. For my mom's side, they're significantly closer, very much like her family. Her entire family would gang up on the individual who steps out of line, and force her into submission. As for School, her ungrad debt just got down to $25,000 ! She had gotten loan for school, paid for tuition and give to rest to the family when the dad's between jobs. (From my cultural understanding) money give/loan to parents are rarely returned. And yet she's ready to take on another $25,000 for Grad School. Grad school doesn't teach you skill, it's just a lot of research. I had my share of grad classes in my undergrad years, it's a lot of written BS. When she first pressured me into proposing, I joked (unknowingly) if her mom is whipering in her ear, she paued and said her mom put her up for it..... I was stunned. My mom went through the how the kid was raised with my grandma, unfortunately my grandma was my babysitter so my mom can't fight back on certain issues, so now my mom indicated she'll be very hands off with my kids (when they come). On the other hand, my GF had been saying many many times that she would LOVE to get me to move in to her family home after marriage, I had been adamant that's NOT an option. 1) I would lose all respect from everyone. 2) I don't want to get stuck with her parents when they're old and demand her undivided attention 3) I saw close proximity with married couples with parents create lots of friction She as the oldest daughter is expected to sacriface a lot more, but I had to draw the line now. I think her (this) request origins from being scared to leave home, because the parents had been holding her back since she was a little girl, e.g. refusing to let her go on trips, using guilt trip on her to get their way and get her to back down....... I can't believe when my GF said her mom considered it a major concession of her part to let us go on day trips together, it's not even on my negotiation list...... I'm willing to play to obedient and tradional son in law, but there's only so much that I can take...... but I did demonstrate to her parents I can choose not to follow their rules and show my independent/rebellious side. We did went camping overnight last summer, her mom approved it out of spite and couldn't back down, but I was banned from setting foot in her house for 1/2 a year, effective immediately after we asked, we were just testing the water at that time.....since I was banned, we went out every Friday / weekend (and they can't keep an eye on us), they tasted their own medicine .... We pushed once more later and stayed out overnight after a drinking party, they finally flipped. Well I apologized, but do I mean any word of it?? It's just customary to apologize...... I doubt her parents would have asked a white guy to do the same thing...... But we eventually found a mutual get off/face saver for both parties and we pretending nothing happened, except my GF sacrifaced her freedom....the condition is she can't go on ANY overnight trips with me ever (well, before marriage). Originally I thought since I grow up oversea, I would be more traditional and my GF grow up here, she would be more white-washed / westernized, but it's the exact opposite.

Mermaid>>Let me get this straight: your girlfriend is 26 and she's "not allowed" to stay overnight at her own boyfriend's house?! I know this when we got together (we know each other for 2+ year before we got together), her family (including uncles and aunts) are extremely traditional and (I hate to say this) backwards. They created a bubble universe and force all the females kids to live under their traditional rules. Both are us are immigrants, but I came from a more liberal country. We're the both Chinese. I came to understand her parents and relatives fear they'll lose face (e.g girl getting pregnant and dishonour them) or losing control of the daughter. They have threatened to cut her off if she moves out. Their bluff worked. Normally I am not a confrontational person, but her parents are really really annoying me. We can't go on trips, vacations (I went to Florida for training recently, she could have stayed with me, free hotel stay, and goto Disney Land - which she would love to go) heloladies21 >> if she's just willing to jump accross the country to go to school for a reason that's just not making perfect sense to you, she might not be as interested in this as you are. When we first got together, I know she was going away to school, I have tried to be supportive and not try to influence her in any way, well she told me last night she thought I didn't care..... and I tried my best not to come accross as putting her down (which the EX did and lose major points, she told me that) I think she put too much faith in formal education, (it's good and useful to a certain point), she thinks education will teach her new skills and give her directions to her career. My experience is edu doesn't give you skillset that you can really use in work (unless your're in a very specialized program/profession), it just teach you how to think. I even helped her with her resume recently, I doubt anything she did the last 2-3 yrs came from her education....... Master degree is a goal she set a long time ago, and the parents came to expect it, now turned to demanding it from her. She told me her dad told her (when we're getting serious at the beginning), "You own me a Master degree before anything (aka marriage)" , well I don't see him paying for her education! (I'm the one who'll eventually footing the bill ) Her mom told her "You can get married first then goto Grad school", they got the best end of the deal..... I will get married and go celibacy for 1 year, and hopefully get some when she returns home on vacation! They won't have to risk the daughter getting pregnant before marriage and won't have to pay for anything. Not to mention her mom had pressured her to pressure me to propose! This is suppose to happen in an old movie, not now in North America!@# I'm waiting to see her uncles' daughter grow up and flip the finger to the elders when they try to impose the same rules on them....... Somehow I think it might have been easier if I'm White so I wouldn't be expected to know & accept & follow all the old/ancient Chinese rules/customs. For the record, I told my parents NO when they try to control me, and they accepted they can't control me like a little kid anymore, and they backed down (I was honestly surprised).

Thanks for all the reply. Fact: We are serious with each other (I just had a long talk with her) If I don't propose, I appears to not willing to commit AND I'm calculating (because I took the safest route) If I propose, I'm somewhat influencing her. I have no idea how she'll react when she's alone in a new city, as she had never had away from home (she had 2 trips w/o family when she's like 14 & 16, 1 was a school trip, the another was a family trip with her uncles & grandparents). Even though she's 26, she was not allowed to spend a night at my place. I would like her to learn some life exp, (hopefully within my driving distance). With her on the other side of the continent, it's a lot harder to comfort her during her down period. The worst is my job doesn't allow me to pick up and go, and the mortgage will severely limit how much I can travel to her. My mortage calculation saids I'll spent 1/2 of my pay on paying the mortgage, then the other 1/2 on the monthly expenses (food, gas, hydro and power, car insurance, tax......) I think I can visit her once a term. If she lives in a dorm, it'll be hard to stay there for a whole week! (it cost $100/night even at a crappy hotel) I had some ideas on how to propose, just not sure when, but I think waiting until the school release the enrollment result will be better. I honestly is not sure the school/program she choose is the best course, she think getting the grad degree will solve everything and guarantee a good job. I can only tell her so many times before sounding like I'm putting her down. Hope75>>When would you have proposed if the school issue was not at hand? Yes.

My GF of 1.5 yrs is applying for a unversity in the west coast (I'm in the east coast), it's 50/50 that she'll get in. Personally I don't think the program (a Master degree) is for her, it's too IT and technical, and she's not very savvy with a computer (but she's learning). She have never been away to school, nor stay away from home (even sleep over at a girl's house) ! I wonder how she'll cope with being alone and on her own?? I have a full time job so I can't just pickup and go, and the plane ticket is about $200 round trip. We have talked about marriage, and I'm saving up for our house, planning to buy within a month..... now she's seriously hinting "if she gets a better offer here (either from me or from another local university), then she would stay". In fact, it's her parents who try to push her to goto Grad school to get a master degree, but she have no idea what jobs she can get with that degree.... Do I propose 1a) before she goes away but after she got accepted into the university (risky since it'll be LDR) 1b) before she goes away, (or even before she gets accepted) and influenced her to stay 2) after she goes away for 1 term, then I visit her on our 2 yr anniversary and propose Option 1 will look like she forced my hand and forcing me to propose against my will Option 2 will look like I'm not committing..... Please give me any advise....... I honestly want her to stay and get married, but I don't her to blame me for missed oppotunity.

It was so hard for me to cum with my GF in the beginning. One problem with condom is you don't get the natural lube and your penis dries up and you can lose the erection. Once you go condomless, you won't go back! And I cum so easily now. I sometime slip the condom back on (when I'm getting close) in order to last longer. Try to get her to put her legs together, she will become tighter and give you more stimulation. Try doggie, if she put her legs together, it would be tighter as well. With a condom I can easily last 1 hr+, w/o one I may cum withing 15 min. Or think of non-sex thoughts when I'm getting close to take my mind off it, it would give you a few min or sometimes lose the whole erection together.

I made the mistake of knowing too much of my GF's past with the EX(normal activities like where to eat, what to do, how does he behaves AND ultimately sex, how many times she did it, where, how). It drives me bonkers! We're together for just over 1 yr and I'm finally getting over it. But I sometimes get an uncontrolled rage-jealousy (even she wasn't around) when something triggers an image of her with the EX kissing / having sex.