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blackhawks1287

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  1. miss post...dind't see thread location dar.....
  2. You have no idea how bad I just want to tell you all of the lies you kept from me, the bull * * * * that I assumed was going on which is why I stopped buying you those cute things, especially not getting anything for our anniversary or your birthday in the last six months. I want to tell you I found out so many things and this weight that I have sucks. Everyone preaches NC to heal, but I feel like I have healed. I don't shame you for what you did, you did what was best, like I always did during our relationship. I refuse to believe complacency is bad. Why have an overhead to live up to...to expect. My life is good. I am happy. I don't need people to make me happy, but I enjoy company to socialize when it is wanted. It sucks to think back on our relationship and think I was just paying for the dinners and movies like you were some escort who gave me sex whenever I wanted it, on my terms. Being each others distractions or emotional crutch. What is sad is I think I just got addicted to the sex, the attention, but I never really needed it. It was nice, I enjoyed and loved every minute of it. But I wonder if I loved the attention or if I loved you. Being that I met and got close with your family I feel like I loved what we shared together, it had to have been real. I am not sad it is over. I am still a little hurt from the deceit. If you were honest with me...I wouldn't have this grudge. It is sad to think of you in this light, but reflection has been demoralizing to me.
  3. J, The only difference between you and Carrie Bradshaw, is at least Carrie Bradshaw was honest about being a cheater and she was also more successful, but you can't help you're stupid.
  4. Why didn't you communicate with me? Why didn't you just tell me how you were really feeling? Why is it that it just feels like you were using me so you wouldn't have to be alone? I don't know what I did to deserve such deceitful behavior. I don't know why i let you manipulate me so much. You left me for another. You left me for a guy you were seeing behind my back. You left me for a guy you knew was single, developed feelings for, and kept it all from me. After all I sacrificed. I wish I could write you an email telling you that I know everything. I wish I could. I wish I could shove it all down your throat and expose your true self to you parents. I never wronged you in any way. You may not have liked the way I carried myself, but you knew who I was. It seems like you never respected me for what I was trying to accomplish and wanting to just court you around. I am not the party animal you are. I would have loved to have romantic nights out, but you didn't want any part of it. I feel used. I feel betrayed. Worst of all, everyone has to see me single and you with someone else. Like I am nothing. But I know better. I know who I am and what I am capable of achieving. I don't need to be shiesty and a coward. You live your life as you see fit. Doing what you want and how you want it. Convincing yourself you are the better person and that I was to blame. * * * * you and everything you did to me. I may have lost a face and time, but I got to rediscover who I am. Thanks, but no thanks. You were the one I wanted, and I gave what I gave. I am not sorry I met you, I am not sorry it ended. I am not sorry that I wish the worst upon you.
  5. X, Enjoy the pot, enjoy the alcohol, enjoy the nights you don't go to sleep and sleep all day. Enjoy being a disrespectful brat not only to me but your parents, your lifelines, without them you would have nothing and your unstable behavior would cease to exist. You lie to them every day, maybe like you lied to me. Enjoy this new guy you left me for, I am sure he is a really winner with his lack of rhetoric and immature behavior and language. By the looks of him, he couldn't even pick up a hooker of the street let alone you...I hope you realize what your doing to yourself and your parents is wrong and you will snap out of this spiraling course to disaster. Your better than this. But hey...like everyone says including my main man success. What goes around comes around, enjoy karma. Let's hope you don't drop out of school your last year like your sister...she is doing wonders for herself isn't she...I like her too, I feel sorry for her because I know her potential just like I know yours. You seem to have a very bad pattern but let's call it your insecurity for now. I hope you got that big box of stuff and I hoped you ended up deleting the rest of the pictures of me on facebook, god knows how happy I was the day I deleted you from my life...the same day you said goodbye. I am glad I found out everything I needed to know and that was all I needed to move on. Enjoy relying on other to make you happy, because your so miserable by yourself.
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