replytome

Dear Penis, I don't think I like you anymore...

My mother had a baby when she was 42 years old... are you sure you are unable to? Have you had your menopause yet? I know there are risks involved, two years before so when she was 40 yrs old she had an abortion because the baby died, i think. She's kept it all secret, because both babies weren't with my dad. this was 10 years ago btw. The kid she did have at 42 is now a very healthy, yet extremely spoilt, kid. 10 years old. I have to discipline him cos no one else does. I'm the only one he respects. (By discipline I mean not saying YES to EVERYTHING, and show him that I'm the leader, he's the follower).

Come on dude, just go NC straight away...you KNOW it's for the best. In every way possible. I have been NC for 1.5 months and have not had the urge to contact her one single time. Do you know why? Because I have dignity, I don't want to talk to someone who doesn't want to talk to me, and who essentially (even though she doesn't know it) thinks she's better than me. I actually worry that she will contact me, I really don't want her to. It would set me back. Remember, you don't owe her ANYTHING! You owe yourself EVERYTHING.

Mate! good thing you didn't do it. I was about to sleep with a really hot girl, much hotter than ex, around 4 weeks post BU, and we were kissing naked in bed and I was pleasuring her if you know what I mean, and I just couldn't get it up! haha! She started "helping me" and still nothing. She got offended and I felt like I was in a crappy comedy. So embarrassing and awkward, but funny as hell. The reason was, I think, that my thoughts were still in turmoil, and I was thinking so much I just couldn't live in the moment. I was also not drunk, I'm sure that being drunk would have helped my case. Btw, you are free to point and laugh. It's bittersweet.

Finally, you're ready. Can I ask you out now? You're a catch and a half lady!

You're fat, have a mahoosive round head, look like you have 82 teeth, you have a mans body and you look like an old lady already even though you're only 22. Do I miss those fat rolls and that tiny spotty bum? naah... joke's on me for ever having been with you. Ugh! Goodbye Hunchback of essex...can't believe I brought you to Europe and made you the talk of your little village. Good luck without me mate! And learning french is a big no-no with that dyslexia of yours. sob.