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supersezzie

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  1. When I was 13,I was abused by a guy of 18,only I have only recently begun to consider this as abuse, because at the time,I went along with it. Now I realise I was too young to know better (it had also been my first visit to a pub and I'd had 1 drink so I suppose it might have got to me at that age).I have already posted articles in the jealousy forum and I'm wondering if this is a cause because no matter what he does,I can't help but think my boyfriend is using me,and be angry at him for having ex girlfriends,as if he's some kind of player and pervert when he's not.Am i putting the blame onto him? How do I move on and actually recover? The past doesn't upset me, it's just the way that its affecting me now that hurts.
  2. Hi.have u read my post cos i just wanted to let u know i feel exactly the same way,you're not alone.I agree with the idea that you should talk to him about it,but do it in a way where you're asking for reassurance and telling him how you feel,not picking on him for it. I feel like my guy cheated on me although he's the most honest guy you could ever meet, just because he has a past.And no amount of advice telling me to forget about it makes a difference,I know rationally the past doesn't matter but it's hard. Did u have a proper childhood cos mine was pretty messed up and I think there's something in it that has caused these feelings.After 2 yrs,they haven't got any better, so if you feel the same,I'd suggest proper counselling,cos no amount of self-help can really work (trust me-I've tried).I just booked my first session...good luck
  3. It doesn't sound like you're a naturally jealous person,it seems the problems with him. There's no way I'd let my boyfriend have sexy chats on the net.You should ask him to stop,stand your ground and tell him what makes you feel uncomfortable,you've got no need to feel stupid,you're well within your rights to ask for respect.If he doesn't stop, then he doesn't care for you,but if he loves you, then he should stop these things if they upset you.
  4. Well, your boyfriend sounds a bit like me,except I'm a woman! But I am like that with my boyfriend-I get angry when he plays football because I feel he should want to spend all his time with me if he loved me. And I find it hard to let him win an argument- I don't know if that's because I'm right or I'm just stubborn. It doesn't mean I'm abusing him because it's not like I'm on a power trip, I love him with all my heart. And I'm becoming more secure thanks to him being so loving and supportive. If you love him, you've got to make compromises - yes-he shouldn't treat you like that, but understand that he maybe can't help it and it doesn't mean he's trying to hurt you, it's probably something he hates about himself. If you want to help him to change, cheating won't help - you need to make him feel more loved and secure, but in return, he should be willing to accept his faults too and go for counselling. If he won't compromise, then you've gotta rethink if he loves you as much as he says he does.
  5. my boyfriend is 26 and im 19. the age difference doesnt bother me, its the fact that hes got so much more of a past than me. I cant stop thinking about his ex girlfriends and the many other women he's slept with-i've only ever slept with him. I know that what we have is special-we have been together for nearly 2 yrs and we love and trust each other completely. It's not about trust, I'm just jealous of his past. It's not fair on him, cos I've been in love before and had feelings for other men, so why shouldn't he. I just can't bear the image of him sleeping with other women before me. And he's been engaged 3 times, so i'm finding it hard to feel special and im constantly fighting the feelings that im just another in a long line of women. I'm not,it just feels like it.he has never ever hurt me and does everything for me,he doesnt even look at other women or talk to any of his exes,but the thought is eating away at me,and im constantly fighting it. please help! why do i feel like this? we have the best, most honest and open relationship in the world. he even knows im on the internet trying to get help for my problem.he reassures me, but its not enough. I know he was young and lonely when he had lots of girlfriends in the past, and he's grown up now and only wants to be with me, so why does it bother me so much? please help!
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