Spartan1

bump

bump

Your answers can be found in his eyes. Take a look at them. Give him a sexy look and a warm smile then glance a way.

You could be in a loving relationship with the most beautiful, sexy woman ever and then, bam! You lose the attraction for them. Could be any number of reasons. Often, it is you are so used to them, maybe things have got stale in the bedroom department or you or the person changes over time. This is were the dating guru's and agony aunt's tell you to "rekindle" your relationship, do things differently, talk more, remember how you both got together, bring back a bit of romance and all that stuff. Spartan

Best form of revenge: Say to them: "I am really happy. Life is good. No regrets and I wish you all the best. See ya." There is nought more leathal than a genuine warm friendly smile hiding a complete lack of indifference underneath.

Thank you very much for the replies! Aye, from what you are saying it looks like it is shaping up to be what I didn't want to hear rather than what I had hoped. But at least I know now. From what you are saying in reality it doesn't matter how many x's there are - it means nought more than a single x. Time for me to keep it real I think. (always a good thing) I wondered what that circle was on another text I got from a friend. I now know it was a hug! Good job she was a lass eh! Aye a very good point and I should know this already but I dunno, sometimes you need someone to point it out to you when you yourself are the person in the situation. Many thanks! If body language was to go by then it is very very good between us. A lot of flirting, touching, eye contact, fooling around and generally having a good time and very close on the dance floor. Mind you saying that, she is flirty by nature, so back to square one.... Aye, same here. Still cannot get my head around the emails and texting. Feels a tad alien to me. I am aware I am getting sucked into this texting business when I know all to well - it's bad and no replacement for seeing the person or talking to them over the phone! I say bad because I spent a whole night trying to placate my mate who argued with his gf by text but was fine with her face to face, and then there is me here looking at a xx and over analyzing it. I know why I am doing it, because I like her so much and doing that thing where you look for hints they like you the same way. I will ask her out. I have asked her out once before and she said "maybe" followed by "after Christmas". I will ask her one last time but if she says maybe or no, then it's good bye from me. Head held high, shoulders back, chest out and force march on full speed out of there! It will be hard because I really do fancy her a lot and we get on so well, a lot of chemistry but I am not going to stand around to be her friend and watch her date someone else. No way. It will be painful, but moving on is what I will have to do. And if she says yes, I will buy everyone a beer or juice for the non-drinkers! Spartan

This is probably a really stupid question but please be patient with a non-texter like me. I got my mobile and since I have got into this dating business I been trying to understand this texting lark with the "x" at the end of a message. I only put an x on the end for female friends. But I wondered. I been flirting for several months with this lass and it is building up to me asking her out. In truth, I don't know were I stand. But I notice she puts a "XX" at the end of her texts to me. The texts themselves are not flirty as we text very few times in the last few weeks and she is not much of a texter either. I plan to ask her out this week. But just wondered. This "Xx" at the end? In your world of texting is that a special kiss at the end of a message or not. I would like to think it was but you know how these things are...everyone no doubt texts different right? Thankyou for you help in advance. Spartan PS: It took me three months and one lady who I dated for several months who suddenly asking me, "why don't you put an x at the end of your text to me?" to realise what all this business was! Playing catch up here.

When I talked about fear of breaking the ice it was in reference to this part of one of your previous post: It just appeared to me you are to afraid just to give him a call on the fly and ask him how his day was, etc. As to how to forget him. Well. The only way involves distancing yourself from him or getting to know him to find out he is not quite as wonderful as you first thought. Find the flaws. You have to take the most difficult challenge and embrace it. For you it seems you want to stop thinking about him but you cannot because you don't want to. Your have to break your cycle of thinking in relation to Jason. You need other things to distract you. Personally I would call him and chat to him. If you get on then all and good. If it doesn't pan out then cut him out your life so you can get on living it. Sounds painful. But hey, you sometimes got to do the thing you hate most in order to move forward. Whatever happens I wish you all the best. I think many of us at one time or another have felt that pull of obssession over someone. Spartan

Confidence is the key. Trying to get that confidence is a journey that begins in your teens. If you want a golden rule to go by this is it: "Act confident. Make firm decisions. Do not be bothered if you are dating or not. Enjoy life, have a smile on you face with all women you meet and learn to understand body language a little. Also make female friends" Believe it or not it takes time to do this properly and get the right balance. But basically you have a great start! If you are getting compliments then obviously looks wise you are hot to the women. Thats great but will only get you so far as you have already realised. Ironically. To attract the ladies you have to not actually care about having a girlfriend. Think of it from another perspective. If a girl asked you out just because she wanted a boyfriend, how special would you feel? Not a lot. So you got to play the game. You do that by not giving a damn or at least portraying you do not give a damn. Then when you meet a girl you like ask her out. Good luck! Spartan

Think you are right there 11flower. Personally, I know when I think I have met someone who I could sense would be a soul mate. It's quite simple really. I workout in the gym a lot. To much really and that is even with two other hobbies on the go and work.... I know when I have met someone special when I want to stop pumping iron so much and spend more and more time with her. I will be working out one day and suddenly think to myself, what am I doing here? I should be with her. Then I will know. She will be the one who gets me out the gym and so far no lass has done that or even come close. Not yet. But one day it will happen and it won't be down to fate either.... Spartan

Fretless wrote: Excellent.

I have been the soul mate of three women accoring to them.... Work that one out.

Good luck young man! As the others have said just enjoy the relationship for what is but please don't get to heavy!!! It will kill it off. The other thing is. Rarely does young love last and if you are talking soul mates then 5 or 10 year relationships are small fry compared to 50 years! You will change. She will change. You may or may not change together. Main thing is to stay young and just enjoy your time together. Forget about all this soul mate stuff.

Definition of a soulmate: Someone who teaches and helps u to unfold urself, like a lotus of countless petals, instead of growing like a reed. And several years later ends the relationship, divorces you, etc.... I prefer: Definition of a soulmate: It is like suddenly realising you are in heaven. When you meet someone they are not your soulmate. A soulmate is someone who you discover in the twilight of your years together. Someone who stayed with you all that time, when you change together, experience life together. That is true love and it has to be nutured with time and requires a lot of patience, understanding and effort, through good and bad times for the eventual reward is heaven on earth. Most people never realise that heaven is something you create inside you and share it with the world - not just somewhere you go when you die.

There is no such thing as soul mates. There is such a thing as perspective. For some people who fall in love it may feel like that but it all boils down in the long term to compatability and each relationship is unique. How many married couple with kids are truly happy? Not that many nowdays from what I have encounted. To many wives feeling unloved, to many husbands feeling they need space. Finding what is termed a soul mate is the wrong way to go about things. Even if you meet someone it could all be over in a few years. Peoples expectations are way to high nowdays. The grim reality is a lot of people go through life never having anything more than a fleeting relationship. There are many lonely folk out there who know what the grim reality is. But it is no excuse for self pitying. It is nice to reflect about the absurdity of it all from time to time but never spend to much time dwelling on it or it will drive you nuts. There is only one thing in life worth doing. Self improving. It has nothing do with "six packs, good looks, wealth and all that crap plainer folk use as an excuse for not meeting people". And sorry to sound harsh but it is an excuse. People give up to easily. They put it down to fate, to feeling rejected by the cosmos, the god they worship, women (and men) in general and life. If you want love. You don't look for it. As soon as you look for it you mind begins to measure success in relation to time. Don't believe me? Sit down and do ABSOLUTLY nothing for three hours and guess exactly when those three hours are up. Think of that as a metaporh for your life. Three hours is a long time doing nothing..waiting for something and getting it most probably wrong. Instead, work on yourself. Find hobbies, keep on talking to women like you are doing, you are a funny guy and that is your strength. Use it. Don't ever give up on it. Clubs and bars don't work? Train yourself up to chat to women anywhere and anytime. You have probably had this kind of advice given to you time and time again. You have probably read it hundreds of times in your search for love. I know how you feel. Blimey, the number of times I just think I have had enough. I ain't ugly either just a plain looking lad. I am 33 years old, divorcee, two years older than you. I got myself down the gym, worked out to feel good, then worked on the other aspects of life. One of the guys I encourage down the gym is 37 and weighs 23 stone, wears glasses and describes himself as plain. Yet he has the humour and never say die attitude that gets him more success with women than I do! He is a legend in my eyes because he never gives in. He has my respect. Wealth is not the key. Looks are not the key. They help but they are not the secret to finding someone you can call a soulmate. Confidence, humour, looking after yourself physically, mentally and spiritually and most importanly never giving up is the way forward. Anything else is self pitying and a waste of time.... tick..tock.... And yes. In the past I spent a few Saturdays in staring at the ceiling and wishing something would just happen to an ugly bloke like me. It is how you use your time is the most important thing. Women are generally attracted to confidence, humour, self-sufficiency, a bit of empathy, looking after yourself physically and a positive attitude. Good looks and wealth are nice wrapping but that's all they are. Spartan