I just want you to be more clear with your feelings. Do you regret this at all now? You're not normally ever a person to make a huge decision and go back on it, since you were 14.. so that's always worried me. I'm trying to keep thinking this is permanent. But your words make it hard to not have hope. Ah crap. Today I really miss you and I haven't missed you this hard in a long time. You were my best friend since we were 16.. Everyday I miss you but with all the NC I can only miss you from a distance, which in turn makes the feeling change somewhat. I know you aren't one to be straight up, you write all these paragraphs. I don't know what you expected me to think of the email. I could tell the message from the day before was more calculated, thought out. This email SOUNDED like you, like an emotionally driven you. Because I still know you... Hopefully if/when I receive more contact you can be more clear about what's going on because I can't respond to something that isn't clear and you better know that.