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Janeiac

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  1. You are doing great! As you can see in this thread, you are not alone. KEEP GOING-- it gets better.
  2. You said it yourself. It's time to do something about being happy. Just stop with him. Tell him you are done-- do not give reasons or listen to any whining-- simply say you are not happy, and then delete his number, block him on social media and do not contact him again. After a while you'll have some clarity and can find somebody who does make you happy. Right now you are stopping that from happening.
  3. I'm sorry to see nobody seems to be using this thread anymore. Going NC with the support and guidance here helped me a lot, and I know it can help others, too.
  4. How is everybody doing? It's been years since the breakup that drove me to this forum, and I want to say, looking back on it all, I am so glad I kept moving forward and did not attempt to contact because I was, and am, so much better off without someone who made me so unhappy. He is so trivial and unimportant in my life overall. When you are stuck in the thick of heartbreak it overwhelms your world, and you deserve so much better than a world of pain. Take heart and know that whichever way it goes you are better off. If your ex stays away you are better off being free of someone who doesn't love you. If your ex has a change of heart you have someone who actually wants to try. Stay strong for your own sake and that will make you available and desirable for someone who is good for you.
  5. destiny, I know how hard it is. For your own sake, you must not let your ex use you to feel better himself while keeping you miserable. If he really loves you, he will dump the other woman and do whatever it takes to be with you. But why would you want him to? He's a known liar and a proven cheat. Get shut of him. You can do this. You will be so much happier freeing yourself to meet someone local who treats you well and generally cares about you. That can't happen while you remain hung up on your ex.
  6. Lavender25, we'd been dating almost two years, and were nearly completely NC for about 4-5 months (one huge fight on the phone and some brief tets during the NC) We made a couple f false starts on the reconciliation-- he tried to come back ithout making the changes I required. It was one of the hardest things I ever did, ut I am so glad I did because things are way better now. To stay busy I watched vies, read, surfed the internet, read tons on here, and hung out with friends. I did have crying jags and periods of intense lonliness, but they came less frquently over time. Just focus on yourself and put your ex out of your mind whenver thoughts intrude. It's hard, but you can do it. I did it, and things worked out . Even if they hadn't, I'd still be ok on my own because I focused on healing myself.
  7. My guy came back to me. At one point he was sure he was in love with somebody else, and that it was all over with me, but he realized it's me he wants, and is willing to put in the effort. It can happen, but it's very important to focus on healing and moving on (and not moping, crying, pushing, begging or anything like that.) I was very clear with him that I wanted him back, but only if some things changed, and that I was completely willing and able to go on living my life happily without him-- and maybe with someone else.
  8. NC works!!!! Keep on keeping on! My Ex came back and wants to try again. He saw what life is like without me, and I showed him I was perfectly capable of moving on without him. I really was in a much better place and feeling ok about the breakup. OK in the sense that I was no longer devastated and paralyzed (which I never showed to him anyway) and crying all the time. I lived my life and made my own plans. NC is for yourself to heal and move on, but it's also the best way to have an ex come back if he or she is ever going to.
  9. My guy came back into my arms. It's not completely settled, but we are giving it a shot. I never thought we'd be seeing each other again, but we are!
  10. BackToYou, you can help this situation yourself. I know it isn't wha tyou want to hear, but it's true: you cannot control another person, but you can control yourself. What you can do is stop thinking about her, stop making her your priority, stop wondering what she is doing and who she is with, stop picturing her with another guy. Just stop. I know it's hard, but you can do it. Do it for yourself, to heal and move on. Get busy, get exercise, see friends, read a book, watch a movie-- just do it. You will be fine.
  11. Pisces Girl, focus on school. If you are busy reading, concentrating on homework, he will be out of yur mind. Don't let yourself get distracted from your important work. Your schooling is the foundation of your future. You can do this. College is great, enjoy it and take care of yourself!
  12. Moonchill, whatever you need to do for yourself makes sense. You are taking care of yourself! You will be fine. Nutcase, you did not mess up. He messed up by not recognizing your specialness. Onward and upward!
  13. moonchill, this type of thing is normal. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and keep moving forward. Do your best not to focus on the ex. Push the thoughts out of your mind. Be kind to yourself. Find something to do. NC is for us to heal, and you've just had that reaffirmed. If we try to make contact we wind up hurting more; now you know not to do it again. Why make yourself suffer, right? You can do this, and you will be fine. Chin up!
  14. simplyme, state parks can be great fun in the snow. Put your boots on and have fun! It's a great workout. THe fresh air and sunshine is an incredible mood lifter. Thanks for the kind words, and moonchill too! I'm not doing anything extraordinary, just keeping my eyes on the prize: MYSELF
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