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the lonely heart

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  1. Hi Y'all.... Ok last night I talked to my ex for 3 hours! we haven't truly talked for about a month. So this was amazing and a surprise. So yeah the conversation turned interested when we started talking about sex. i was a virgin with him and did it my first time with my latest boyfriend. so yeah we got to talking about sex and i was joking around and suggesting that WE (he and I) have sex... We both laughed at the idea and just continued talking and bantering... For THREE hours. I was so shocked to see the time wiz by. So yeah... he is dating a girl right now who he classifies as having a... real mellow, down to earth, able-to- listen-for-hours to anyone about anything attitude that never falters... he also mentioned that she is cute and hot. and pleasant and easygoing and inviting as for me, he said: - you have qualities like that that (pleasant/easygoing/inviting)... your smile is inviting - ur very cute and unrivaled there he also mentioned having sex w/ me had crossed his mind but he didn't want to push me and my boundaries cuz of my religious beliefs, etc. Well they're not official yet but have been dating for a few months now taking it day by day. And suddenly I'm all horny inside wanting to go and make love to him! Aww... He's my first love and boyfriend... Ok... my question ~ do you think I have a chance of getting him back? If so, how's the best way to approach it???
  2. Lol. My boyfriend broke up with me in late January and i started dating another guy (RYAN) in early March that I told you all about from my school. Anywayz, as I mentioned he broke up with me a while back. history he and i dated in March/April, he said he wanted to slow down on April 25th, broke up with me on April 26th (saying he still really liked me but didn't see it headed 2 marriage), considering getting back w/ me the following weekend, broke up again on the monday following (may 3), made out with me that evening after doing so and we had sex, and got back together w/ me swearing it was for real on the 5th (wed), and yet less than 24 hours later (may 6th/thurs) he broke up with me again saying it wasn't going to work and he had to break up with me. So yeah, that's 1 hell of a week! wassup now but anywayz, its been about 3 weeks since and he's been completely IGNORING me We go to the same school and since its small we have to see ea other around campus on a regular basis. But i don't know what his problem si but he seems to think its for the best to ignore me. Now, i should mention one thing - my mom did ask him not to contact me/be friends with me after the breakup... So he is saying that he's keeping her word to the letter. He's acting all honorable and such His friend even told me to leave him alone and i was like "WTF - i haven't contacted him in over 2 weeks!" Anywayz, my mom wrote him and told him that she did not intend 4 him to ignore me or be a rude bastard like he was being. So yeah... even after that, he's been ignoring me and even had the audocity to return a letter i wrote him to my mailbox a week later after i stopped contacting him. why could not he have just thrown it away? YOu know what i mean?? so anywayz, his sister hates me and a lot of ppl think that she is the cause for the breakup and such... I've tried to be kind to her but she just won't budge... Whatever. advice desired! So my question -- can anyone offer advice on what the heck is going on?? i am so confused and really wanna go wack him over the head Thanks!!!!!! Celina and yeah if i had my way, we'd still be together
  3. does this mean i should consider taking a pregnancy test sometime? Any thoughts on that would be gratefully received. thanks... and yeah girls and guyz... for the record, the guy got what he wanted i guess and walked away ... he broke up with me... yep...
  4. when does the official risk of pregnancy start? fingering? him entering half way? all the way? cumming?
  5. Hi. I am confused and wanted some desperate advice... Thank you all in advance! Ok the situation...I've been dating this guy for the past couple months and we have just started getting more intimate in that i gave him a handjob and he has fingered me on 3 occasions. I've enjoyed the fingering despite the soreness which seemed to come afterwards. But yeah, last night we got further than ever before and this is where I'm confused... We decided that he would enter me but not completely... Just so I could get a feel for it... I don't know. Is that normal for a first time encounter? So yeah... He entered and i felt pained and i guess it was the stretching you all talk about... But according to him (and he has far more experience than me... 3 frmr sex partners) he didn't go all the way... So I have to ask myself... why would I bleed? I got back to my apt and see that my underwear is stained with blood and it is slightly painful to urinate (sorry for being graphic)... So I have to ask ~ did i do something wrong? is there a way to make it easier on me when we do have sex for the first time and go all the way? Thank you!!
  6. thanks gals and guys... i appreciate the advice...sometimes it just helps to have someone rehash what you've been thinking
  7. Hi y'all... If you recall I broke up with my ex in January. Well, since then I've met this new guy (who shares the same freaky first name) who seems to be a great guy @ my school. He's admitted to me last night that he has a crush on me and now I'm confused/stumped. I like this guy from what I've seen of him so far but frankly I am still into my ex... ugh... So anywho, I was wondering -- do you think its fair on the new guy for me to go out with him? I DO like him even though I still have feelings for the ex. Of course its just a mere date but I don't want to hurt his feelings or give him the wrong impression, etc. Also, would it be better to keep it mum when talkin' with my ex who is now my friend? any advice is welcome. thanks. Celina --->--@
  8. Morrigan, do you think that in a friendship setting the ex can end up see the person within you who he/she was initially attracted to? i've moved past the hurt and puppy dog looks...now i'm considering a friendship with the ex but unsure how to approach this transition... thanks
  9. Hi Rainy, I am so sorry about your break-up to have someone you care about leave your life is such a terrible thing... I must admit this is rather similar to a break-up I had w/ the guy not giving any clue this was coming about and bam! it happens due to "confusion"... Just remember that crying is ok and normal. Cry as much as you want w/o shame. Also, avoid grovelling at the guy's feet. You're better then that. There is a [link removed by Morrigan which offers tips and don'ts for winning back your loved one. You might want to give it a look. Again, I'm so sorry about your disappointment and heartbreak and truly wish it could all just be a bad nightmare and this guy would still be with you...
  10. first, welcome aboard. second of all, yeah you can get the ex back while being friends... this is sort of an update to my story & also an answer to your question... my ex and i've been friends for a few weeks now and on saturday we went out to a movie and lets just say that things progressed... holding hands, stroking my arm, slipping his arm around me as we walked, kissing me, and finally asking for a second chance. my thoughts - yippee! so to answer ur question, yeah it can happen. i'm back w/ my ex and totally stoked... all the best to you... hopefully the 'experts' and pros on this board can offer more advice. all the best. and remember - be true to yourself.
  11. HI y'all. I am back again and with another question. Thanks in advance for any advice/thoughts you might share!! K, here's the story. If you all recall, my ex broke up with me after a 3 month relationship. His reasoning was that he was confused about what he needed and wanted in a relationship. It also came out he had been with another girl for 2 years before me (so some of you assumed i was possibly a 'rebound' girl). We decided to become friends. yet he was giving me mixed signals for a few weeks about what he really wanted in our "friendship" until I sat him down and basically told him I deserved better than what I called a joke of a friendship. I guess my comments took him surprise and yet he was very appreciative that i brought it up and explained he wanted to be friends and was just worried that it would get ackward should the breakup come up in conversation. I actually laughed when he said this and recalled (to myself) how he was the only one who ever brought up the breakup. Anyway, to make a long story short...he admited he wanted to be friends and so that's what we are now...friends. I am actually very happy with this situation and at peace about the way things are happening. I noticed that I no longer get butterflies in my stomach thinking of him, nor do i cry over him, etc. Of course, I will admit that I do think a return to the way things used to be (boyfriend-girlfriend) would be nice. And that brings me to my question and reason for this post. I was wondering - is there ever any chance exs who become friends can become boyfriend/girlfriend again? Does that work out ever? The reason i ask, is because i remember reading all those posts about "no contact" and how if you initiate contact you've basically wiped all chances away of getting back w/ the ex. So i was curious, if that applies in the situation i'm in... can those who choose to be friends ever get back together? and plz understand i'm not grovelling on teh ground begging for a 2nd chance w/ him nor am i making our outings uncomfortable. i just want to know if there is a chance for a rebirth of a relationship? thanx.
  12. Yeah. i figured. I ended up sending him an email (v. nice and all) and asked him what he really wanted out of our "friendship" and asked why he kept giving me mixed signals... He hasn't replied yet and neither has he sent a "read receipt" which he has done every other time he's read an email. I guess I"ll just have to see... Cheers M
  13. Thanks for the advice/help. Yes, I do want a friendship and yes he said he wanted one too. And I think we're both trying - Since the breakup we've gone to Mass together on a regular basis, he calls to chat, we e-mail and IM ea. other, and lately he's been coming to the club I work at (i'm a bartender) and will just sit around drinking a beer trying to talk to me when I'm working. What confuses me (and maybe its just me *G*) is that he'll simply sit there at the bar and STARE at me & won't let any other hostess serve him. once i was for example in the bathroom and he came in and wanted a beer (i guess) but when my friend Sara asked what he wanted, he said he'd only order from me. I thought that was odd since he was often at the bar before we dated and flirted w/ all of us girls. I don't know. He also asks me to dance when i'm off work, will give me a massage on the neck when i am tired, and now sends me a valentine card. I just don't get it. There doesn't seem to be a whole lot of a difference between when we dated and now except for the intimacy and "going on official dates". That's why I'm curious - how exactly this all works. I've had 2 long term relationships (2 years ea.) before and neither of us in those relationships wanted a friendship so i didn't have to deal with this. Thanks again...
  14. Hi y'all. Anyone who read my earlier post realize that I wanted to know if there was any hope of reuniting with my ex but as it would seem - the chances are slim - so I am ready to move on and enjoy life however, i was wondering... how does a couple shift to the friendship state if it was never there to began with? My ex and I (although we were only together 3 months) never had a friendship to build upon and now he (we) want a friendship... So, how do we go about that? I just don't want to come accross like the obsessed breakupee because frankly i'm at peace w/ this whole situation and not an obsessesd breakupee. If any of you have any words of wisdom or experience you'd like to share regarding how to form a friendship with the ex, I'd love to hear it. Thanks a bundle. Cheers Melina
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