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iforgotmyname

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  1. I am feeling nothing now. I did not lost faith in you. I lost faith in love. There is no such thing as love. It is an illusion. It is a drug for the brain. A drug that makes us feel good. A drug that makes me feel happy. I am trying my best to quit it now. That also means that I will never feel the same happiness I felt when I was taking that drug. It really felt so good. But I can never feel that again.
  2. To God, I have told you countless times, haven't I? I said I am willing to give up my talents and passion for her. I did. I promise I'm willing to give up all the money I have for her. I did. I said I am willing to do anything just to be together with her, even if it means for me to kneel down infront of people that I hate. I did. I promise I will never scold her and I will protect her, cherish her and be faithful to her. I did. I hope that everyone else would be able to find the love of their life, I hope the same to the ones that have destroyed my life. I did. I said I will feel grateful everyday for having her in my life. I did. I have done everything. So why does this happen? You said Everything happens for a reason. You took away the only reason for me to survive. You are the one you taught me, that money, pride, ego and everything I once pursued are nothing compared to her, the love of my life. You are the one that taught me love is the most important thing. If you let her back in my life, I will kneel down for you. I will keep kneeling, until you told me to get up. Please. Take my hands away. Take all these things away. I don't need them. I just want her back.
  3. There are so many things i want to tell you. I love u... so much. I've invested everything in this relationship. I can't do anything now as everything I do reminds me of u. I tried to suppress my emotions.. but they always exploded in the end somehow. In my dreams, or when times I just stare into blank space. I can't tell u all these. I don't want you to feel guilty. I want you to be happy. But I missed you so much. Even if I find somethings that I enjoyed, I can't enjoy them. I will feel happy doing that activity, and the next thing that comes to my mind is to share it with you. But you are no longer here.... You left me. I've never scolded you before. Everyday I told myself how lucky and happy I'm to have you as my gf. I want to marry you. That is my dream. But now, I am having endless nightmares everynight. The only thing that makes me feel better is when I suddenly felt like you will come back to me. I'm not certain if I'm the guy you love the most. I'm not certain that you will come back to me. But there is one thing I'm 100% sure of. I'm the one that love you the most in this world. No one will be able to do the things that I have done for you. I'm willing to bet my soul that the above is true. But I don't think God will accept my bet, as my soul is already gone.
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