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Tinkerbell

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  1. First of all, I must say I'm sorry that you feel that support would be lacking from your family and friends...It's obviously hard enough to deal with your current situation as it is, nevermind with the feeling that you have to deal with it all alone. However, just because you feel that those closest to you won't understand, doesn't mean that nobody at all will. For one thing, enotalone is certainly a good place to begin in your search for comfort and support, and there are several online support groups that exist for homosexuals and bisexuals that would probably be in your best interest to check out. Although things aren't looking too good right now, remember that they will get better. Your family and friends love you, and even if they have trouble accepting your sexual orientation at first, eventually they will realise that it doesn't change the wonderful person that you are. Take care, ~Tink
  2. Personally, I've never quite believed the common expression "once a cheater always a cheater." Although it does seems logical that a person who can commit this "crime" once would be able to do it again, it is important to remember that people do make mistakes and learn from them. However, that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be cautious if you continue to date him, because clearly the trust has been broken and it will take some time for him to gain it back. Since this happened at the very beginning of the relationship, it could be that perhaps he was scared and sought out affection elsewhere as comfort - once again, I'm not making excuses for him, just trying to understand the logic behind his actions. What it comes down to is whether or not you feel that you can forgive him. As for the situation with the best friend, maybe you ought to re-think your choices in buddies a little more carefully next time... Best of luck to you, ~Tink
  3. Yes, it does make sense, not only as a moderator, but as a psychology student as well...I was just pointing out that I have thought of all these things quite a bit, and right now I just can't bear to think about them anymore...I regret more than anything else breaking it off with him, and I keep thinking that I'm going to wake up from this nightmare that has become my life...I'm sorry if I'm overly sensitive, but I just can't lose him...I just can't.
  4. Look, I realise I made a mistake, there's no need to remind me...I remind myself enough of that, I torture myself constantly...I did mess up the past, but the point is there's nothing I can do to fix the past, the only thing I can do is make the future better...But my problem is I just need him to let me do that...
  5. I don't doubt that he may have feelings for this girl, but I don't doubt either that he has feelings for me too...And if I had to guess for whom his feelings are stronger, I would definitely say myself...We have an entire history together, and I just can't have him pretend that it didn't exist...I know that trying to force him to open his eyes will push him away, which is why I'm trying to find SOME way of getting him to realise just what's in front of him...I'm beginning to completely lose hope; you give a person everything in the world and when it comes down to it they'll chose the meaningless fun over real love...
  6. Yes, somewhat in the middle of all this rollar coaster ride I wrote him quite the long letter explaining that I love him no matter what, and that I made a mistake, and that even though I can't change the past, I would dedicate my future to making him happy if he gave me another chance, ect.
  7. I see your point PocoDiablo, but why is it that he's more attracted to HER when she's pulling off the whole crying and needy thing? Noticed I used "pulling" off, her sincerity is lacking... And as much as I'd love to do what you suggested, I don't see how this will help me at all in the long run...Sure, I suppose we might be able to be friends, but how is that going to get him to open his eyes and realise that he should be with me? And I swear to you, if I honestly thought he was happy with this girl and that she was right for him, I would back off...But just the way he spoke about her and their relationship just makes me want to smack him over the head for being so silly..
  8. Thank you nataliejulie as well... The thing is, it seems that the more he thinks the more of a negative effect it's having on us...He keeps trying to maximize all the bad and minimize all the good, and despite the obvious, he's claiming that he cares about this girl and that he might be better off with her...Now last night he took the decision to continue things with her and leave me hanging, but I just can't accept that...I'm sorry, but I love him too much to just let him walk away...To top matters off, it pains me so much to see him with someone who clearly isn't worth his time...As you can see, I'm desperate, if I don't do something fast, I just might lose him forever...With every day that passes, he's trying to forget me more and more....
  9. Thank you to the both of you for your replies... I know that I shouldn't beg or cry, but keeping myself from doing the latter is extremely difficult...DN, I understand that speaking to him straightout and telling him how I feel is what I need to do, but I HAVE done this (rather, I tried to make it out through all the sobbing), and for some reason he is still so darn scared of getting hurt again that he keeps on running away from me and back to her...I know he still has feelings for me, I see it in his eyes, in the things he's said, in the things he's done, but I just don't know how to make him realise that he's trying to surpress them and make our relationship out to be something it never was because he's confused, hurt, and scared...
  10. Hello everyone, I'm not sure if anybody remembers me, but for quite some time I was a moderator here on this forum. However, after several months I became overwhelmed with work and school, and had to resign...But now that I'm completely heartbroken and overwhelmed, I didn't know where else to go since I'm pretty sure I'm depressing the heck out of my friends by crying all the time, so I'm really hoping someone could help me... I broke up with my boyfriend Chris at the beginning of August after we had been together for almost a year (I'm 18 and he's going to be 20 soon, just as a little back-up information). The reason that I broke it off wasn't that I had stopped loving him, but because I thought that a little time apart was what he needed since I felt that he had to get his life together - he had no job and he wasn't in school. It's not as though this was a new situation, it had been going on all summer, and finally towards the end his anger at himself began to be directed towards me...I knew that I didn't deserve to be yelled at when all I was doing was trying to help him, so I ended things with him over the phone, with the clear idea in MY mind that it was only temporary and that hopefully it would give him a kick in the butt to move in the right direction and within no time we'd be back together... Well clearly, I made a huge mistake...One that I have to live with every morning when I wake up, one that haunts me every single damn day...I have to make it clear that before the break-up and our little problem with him not working, our relationship was perfect...To the point that I remember people saying that we were so in love it made them nauseous, and so on...He was my everything, my best friend AND my boyfriend, and I would've done anything for him in an instant, and still would... So my little plan backfired x 20. About a week or so later I was feeling pretty horrible and was planning on calling him up to stop all the nonsense, when I found out from a mutual friend that he was seeing someone new...This new girl was Lina, a "friend" of his from high school...What I mean by a friend is that the girl pretty much lead him on for 5 years, only taking an interest in him when she couldn't have him, and finally ending up kissing him WHILE she was in a serious relationship with someone else...Needless to say, this girl's no angel. At the beginning of our relationship he and Lina had kept in touch, but obviously with time he stopped talking to her because her manipulative side was more than eager to break the two of us up...He then confided in me repeatedly throughout our entire relationship that he couldn't believe how blind he had been for 5 years, as he finally realised just how much of a manipulative person she really was and he had been a fool for ever liking her... Well you can just imagine my shock at having found out that right after we broke up, he went running on back to her...Of all people, he knew that being with Lina would've hurt me the most, so perhaps this has something to do with it, but I just couldn't get over what a hypocrite he was being...What I didn't know is that one of his friends had seen me and a guy friend together the night after our break-up, and this friend clearly saw something that wasn't there and lead poor Chris to believe that I had already replaced him as well. I was incredibly hurt by the fact that he was with someone else, so I made yet another mistake and started dating someone too...About a month into this new relationship, I realised that it wasn't fair of me to be with someone new when I was still thinking about Chris, so me and the new boyfriend ended it because it was obvious we weren't on the same page... I finally got the courage up to call Chris and tell him everything that I felt about 6 weeks ago...I spent about 3 hours crying in his car to him about how stupid I had been and how I had made a terrible mistake and that I was sorry and would never leave him again if he gave me another chance...Well, Chris pretty much crushed me by telling me that he was dating Lina and that things were going well and that he was over me...I believe this is when that horrible feeling in my chest began.... Well that was just this beginning of the last 6 weeks from hell that he's put me through...After that incident, he ignored me for a week....Then one day he calls me up being all friendly and asks me to hang out with him, so I obviously agreed...He ended up kissing me and telling me that he ended things with Lina because he couldn't trust her (I can't blame him) and that I would always be his baby, he obviously still loved me, but he didn't know whether or not he was ready for a relationship right now because I had broken his heart...I respected this and told him so, and we spent the next 3 hours embracing one another... That evening was followed by yet another week of him ignoring me, so you can only imagine how confused I was....Then once again, he calls me out of the blue, this time to dump on me the most horribly mean things he could've possibly said...One of them being he wasn't in love with me anymore...The entire conversation was so scattered - one minute he'd be telling me he thought we had a chance, the next he'd be seeing that he had no faith in me whatsoever, ect...Finally, we agreed that he should sleep on it and the next day he'd come over after school to let me know whether he had decided that things were completely over, or he'd want to give it another chance... Well guess what, he completely ignored our plans and spent yet ANOTHER week of ignoring me...Well by this point, not only was I heartbroken, but I was incredibly angry, so we he finally decided to talk to me last week, I completely lost my temper...Mind you, I wasn't the only one who was mad, and we ending up spending 3 hours yelling at one another about how angry we were at each other for contributing to the end of our relationship...This restored my faith quite a bit, as he was demonstrating just how much he still cared...He told me that he had started seeing Lina again, but referred to their relationship as "stupid" numerous times and that it was "open and free" and that she was threatened by what we had, which by contrast was "real and good"... This Tuesday, he asked me to do something, and we ended up sleeping together...Now I'll have you all know that I've only been involved with 2 people, him being one of them, as I could not possibly sleep with someone that I didn't love or care about...As for him, I was his first, and still up until now, his only...We spent the evening together, during which he told me he still loved me, but that part of him felt like he owed it to Lina to see whether or not things we're going to mess up...Well as I pointed out, things had ALREADY messed up since she had found out that he had kissed me and was terribly upset, and then he had proceeded to have sex with me...Sorry, but I find it a little hard to believe that he cares about her considering his recent actions.. I know Chris like the back of my hand, and I knew what was coming when he called me up last night...He told me that Lina was very hurt that he had kissed me, and that she felt betrayed, and that he felt really badly for hurting her (He conveniently didn't acknowledge the hell he has put me through for the last month...) He completely minimized all the good in our relationship, and maximized all the bad, and did the opposite for his relationship with her...This obviously made me very angry, because I'm aware what he is doing - he made it clear before that he felt sorry for her and that HE was the only one hurting HER and SHE wasn't hurting HIM, so it was apparent to me that he'd seek the easy way out and continue with her knowing deep down it would remain meaningless and that he wouldn't get hurt this way...Whereas with me, he was very attached to me once before and he ended up heartbroken, which he stresses constantly, so he obviously doesn't want to risk being hurt again. Well, among other things I pointed out that he was being quite the coward, and that he was trying to turn his feelings for me into nothing when we both knew they were still there...He tried to convince me that he really actually likes Lina, but I find this a little hard to believe since she's proven repeatedly over the last 5 years that she isn't a very nice person, and he just finished doing several things to jeopardize their relationship which he called "stupid" in the first place... Now I just don't know what to do...I called him today and told him I wanted to talk to him, he told me to talk away, I said I didn't want to do it over the phone, and he got annoyed and agreed that he'd come see me on Sunday, but not before he threw in that he had made his decision last night and there was nothing left to say... Oh god, please somebody help me...I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I don't know whether to beg and cry or just let him go...All I know is that every day that I spend without him is another day without sunshine...I cry constantly, and I can't focus on anything...I'm not ready to let him go, and I CAN'T let him go, I know he still loves me and he still cares, and I just don't understand why I can't get him back...He's put me on such a rollarcoaster the last few weeks, saying our relationship was bad, saying it was wonderful, saying he loved me, taking it back, saying he loved me again, kissing me, sleeping with me, ignoring me for weeks at a time....I just can't take the torture anymore.... When I see him on Sunday, I was planning on saying something along the lines of I understand that he needs to go out and see things for himself, but that regardless I still love him and that I don't want him to forget about us and I'm sorry for the way things turned out...Please somebody, tell me what I should do or shouldn't do, I'm so messed up right now I can only imagine how the confusing my post must be...I really need to be with him...Please help me.... Thank you in advance for anyone who took the time to read this... Much love, ~Tinkerbell~
  11. Hmm, just out of curiosity, have you voiced this complaint to your partner? Perhaps he doesn't realise that he is the only one "finishing," I've heard of several men who are oblivious when it comes to whether or not their girlfriend has had an orgasm.
  12. I think that manually speaking, making love and having sex are the same thing - the man is penetrating the woman's vagina with his penis. However, there is an emotional difference between making love and having sex. People who care deeply for one another can make love, whereas those who are doing it soley for physical pleasure are having sex.
  13. Hmm, I would never ever get breast implants. Perhaps it's different because I don't need them, but I honestly think I would feel too fake. Besides, you have to be comfortable in your own skin, nowadays it seems like every woman is trying to make herself out to be the typical Barbie doll - Blonde hair, a slim waist, and big boobs.
  14. I get horribly bad cramps, to the point that if I don't take my prescription pills all I'm able to do is lie in a fetal position for 5 days. However, there's an underlying problem that's causing the terrible pain, so my case is a little different than yours. Even with my pills I still get really bad cramps, so my doctor suggested I go on birth control pills as well. First I tried a brand called Alesse, which did absolutely nothing, than I tried Marvelon which actually made the pain worse, and for the last two months I've been on Ortho Tri-Cyclen and I have noticed a slight decrease in the cramps. As for side-effects, I haven't experienced any increase in hunger or an increase in weight gain.
  15. Thank you to everyone from all of your replies. I was very interested in the differences between the male and female point of view, and am fully on the same page as OceanEyes based on the following comment: Nowadays, it seems that everything is about sex. If you're not having sex, everything is about when you will have sex, and if you are having sex, everything is still about sex. Obviously, the two sexes have very different opinions on sexual matters and react differently to sexual acts as well, which leads me to believe that there really isn't much we can do in these situations. I suppose when it comes down to it, females are just more complicated when it comes to sex - dangling a piece of meat in front of our eyes usually doesn't get us drooling, we're going to need a little more than that.
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