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Sheyda

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Sheyda last won the day on February 2 2006

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About Sheyda

  • Birthday 10/16/1985

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  1. Personally, I think the longer hair flatters you more and suits your face shape better than the short hair cut. I think the slightly longer hair looks great on you.
  2. ^ I think it was for the original poster, who was asking why these girls aren't interested in him.
  3. You look cute, but it appears as if you are forcing your smile and that it's not genuine. Don't think I can rate you without seeing your eyes as well, but I hope what I've said has helped you out a little.
  4. It isn't that I am prettier than anyone here that I get this negativity regardless of how I present myself; it is because I happened to be in a place full of prejudiced people. I can't change prejudiced people's attitudes towards my appearance by dressing differently. If people are already prejudiced towards others they find attractive, the same judgements will still pop into their heads and some will even think, "Oh, that *****! She's trying to trick me into thinking she doesn't believe she's all that, but I can see right through her!" Sometimes they hate you more when you prove them wrong (even when you didn't do it on purpose, but they feel you did it to "attack" them), just like some people did when they realised I wasn't an idiot. It is not as difficult now as it was earlier in my life (maybe because I moved), but I do still get the odd person looking down their nose at me and speaking to me as if I'm a three-year-old, or glaring at me for sitting in the same bus as them or even insulting me for walking down the same street. I handle it better today because I realise it's their problem and not mine and if they are so bothered by how someone else was born that they feel the need to look daggers and shout insults, they should seek help. Despite things being less difficult, it is still shocking to me that someone who is an adult still believes such stereotypes. I still see young girls going through the same things I did and worse, only they don't know what to do, deal with it the wrong way and suffer because of that. No one deserves to suffer in silence, but because of how some people react to their calls for help, they do.
  5. Whether an age-gap relationship is all right or not depends on the same things that decide whether any other relationship is all right or not. The only addition to that is making sure the younger partner is legal in their country.
  6. This is an assumption; I never said this about you anywhere in my post and never hinted at it. If that is true I find it very strange that all these times I have been discriminated against I never dressed to attract attention to my body or wore make-up to enhance my facial features. People have assumed the following many times when I mention problems I have faced: that I fiddle with my appearance so that I myself invite the discrimination since I look like I am showing off. I don't know if this is exactly what you are trying to say, but at the time of all this discrimination I was even more shy than I am now, I had a low self-esteem (bullying), I always dressed conservatively and dull since I didn't want to attract any attention (I believed attention would've led to more bullying) and for the same reason I never wore any make-up. I do see your point about controlling the discrimination by how you present yourself, but if someone has never presented themselves in a way to invite discrimination how can they have any control over it? I feel like this is similar to telling an Asian girl who has always dyed her hair blonde and worn blue contacts that she can control the racist comments she has always received by looking less Asian. No matter what she is wearing they can still see she is Asian and they will still discriminate. I feel it is the same with a person who is seen as attractive by some; you can smear them with mud and put them in a burlap sack, but the same few will still say that person is beautiful. If someone among those few believes in stereotypes, those will still hold true and the discrimination continues regardless. It would be great if everyone could be proud to be themselves without having to worry about others attacking them because of how they were born. It's one thing to judge someone by what they are wearing as that is something that can easily be changed, but to judge them by something they can't change?
  7. I wanted to add that just because a larger number of people might find you attractive it does not mean that you will also find yourself attractive or necessarily have a positive self-image. This is just another stereotype. As I've already said; I have been both sides of the fence regarding attractiveness and I felt equally bad either side. However, I do not think anyone can be entirely on one side as everyone has different ideas of what's beautiful and what's not. Also, I don't think that Unhumble's point was to decide whether attractive or unattractive people "have it worse"; I think they just wanted to test people's awareness of stereotypes towards attractiveness and fashion sense and find out why these stereotypes exist in the first place. I think stereotypes exist because some people are so full of hatred today and they need enough excuses to justify their discrimination towards others. Yes, I feel like I am already in the midst of one. I've also noticed those that reply assume the "beautiful" person is self-centred and believes they are the only one in the world suffering: another stereotype that attractive people are egocentric and do not think of anyone else but themselves.
  8. I would like to know the answer to that question myself. Yes, it has created a lot of stereotypes, but I don't know about a self-fulfilling prophecy. I have been both sides of the fence. Not everyone finds me attractive but it seems there are a number that happen to think I am attractive. This has led to many people making unfair assumptions about me based on my appearance. - People assumed it was easier for me to find a boyfriend. However, I was only approached by jerks that wanted sex (and made that very clear) and the guys I would've liked to date were shy and too scared to approach me. Today, I would approach them, but I also suffered from severe shyness due to bullying. At 16 I was still single, which leads to the next stereotype that... - It is impossible for beautiful people to be single unless they are gay. Suddenly the whole estate was talking about me being a lesbian and I don't think I need to tell you how homophobic secondary/high school kids can be. - Beautiful people have easier lives, no problems and a lot less to worry about. My family has been hovering around the poverty line all my life, for 15 years I was bullied at least twice a week to the point I was afraid to go outside my own house, I have been pelted with stones for no reason, seen three people (including a friend) get hit by cars right in front of me, seen my dad come in my room with a nosebleed because my mum hit him, seen my grandfather dead, etc. Yes, I realise plenty of people have had worse experiences, but my point is this: having people think you're pretty is not a ticket to a trouble-free life. I never went through any of these events thinking, "Oh well, at least I am pretty; that makes everything perfect!" - They have power. I was a shy person who has always been the victim of bullies; I never had any power. Perhaps a confident pretty person would, but not everyone is going to bow down to a pleasant face. - They are stupid. I think there is no way that anyone can prove their intelligence, but looking at the system they rated theirs on I was smart. When other teens discovered that, they hated me even more. - They are nasty. People have always complimented my family and so on about how kind and polite I am, but I realise they could have assumed that my shyness was due to my being a snob; that I was stuck-up and felt I was better than them and that is why I rarely spoke. - They are promiscuous and easy to get into bed. Couldn't be further from the truth for me. I didn't even get my first kiss until I was nearly 20. - If they mention any of their problems they are just pathetic pity-seekers. Since they are pretty they must be lying about these problems for attention. For these judgemental people it is a tragedy if an ordinary person's family dies, but if it happens to a pretty person they assume they deserved it because (going back to another stereotype) all beautiful people are nasty and mean. Since I am shy I never wanted any attention, let alone a load of people pitying me. For a long time I felt pathetic; I didn't need pity to make me feel any worse. - They have a high self-esteem and are extremely confident. No matter how many people tell you you are beautiful you will not magically become confident. Confidence comes from within and since I never felt attractive and was bullied so much I had a low self-esteem and no confidence whatsoever. - More accepted by others and more popular. I was bullied by lots of popular people and so I was more of a loner. I have never been popular and I am still not even though everyone has supposedly grown up now. - They are egotistical and need to be taken down a notch. I think the self-esteem and confidence point already explains why this is a stupid assumption. - They are shallow. I have been attracted to tall guys, short guys, thin guys, fat guys, hairy guys, hairless guys, guys with bad acne, guys with crooked noses, guys with bat ears... Appearance never really mattered to me. - They're gold-diggers. With my family and I always having lived in debt, I did not care if a man had money or not. I was used to living in poverty, so why should that change if I meet a guy? - Always in a relationship. I didn't have my first relationship until I was almost 20. - If they are shy they are an arrogant snob and if they are outgoing they are a ho. You just can't win, can you? Either way, there has to be something wrong with you! I'd say that with the clothing it is just narrow-minded ignorance and people fearing what they don't understand. Fear can easily turn into unreasonable hatred. Yes. Sometimes I have gotten lots of glares that make me feel as though I have to scar my face, gain 100lbs or dress like a tramp (hobo to North Americans) just to make them happy and be accepted in general. Today I just look however I want to look and wear whatever I want to wear and don't give a turd if someone calls me a prostitute or a cow; if they are bothered by how I was born and by my liking certain clothes that is their problem and not mine. They have issues with insecurity and controlling how other people dress, so they should quit bugging innocent people and go see a psychologist.
  9. As long as it looks good on the guy, I don't care. I've liked guys with long hair, medium-length hair, short hair, black hair, brown hair, blonde hair, red hair, straight hair, curly hair... Honestly doesn't matter to me unless the particular hair cut he has chosen does not suit him at all.
  10. Of course geography was not the only reason for making that decision.
  11. Even though you can know that person very well through dating, there are a lot of things you won't know about them until you've lived together (such as a few of the things hazey mentioned earlier). Seeing as my boyfriend lived in Canada and I lived in England we didn't get to see each other often at all while living apart so we thought, "Why not try living together and see if it works out?" People might think that is stupid, but I think it would be even stupider to marry each other when we are still living on opposite sides of the world. However, if two people are in the same country, live close together, have slept over each other's houses, had breakfast together in the morning and so on I think they definitely have a good idea of what it would be like to live together and could probably get married before moving in. I wouldn't say they are idiots, don't love each other and are not committed to each other if they did move in together before getting married, though. To many people I think it is just the next logical step before either engagement or marriage. Maybe they want to take things slow, or perhaps they want to get married and live together, but can't afford the wedding yet. Who knows? If they are happy with living together before marriage, good for them. If somebody is bothered and upset with what a couple choose to do that is their problem and not the couple's. I remember reading this study as it was posted on the forum before. There were a lot of flaws in it: - Some of those who divorced after living together got married not because they wanted to, but because of pressure or feeling it is a step they absolutely must take. - Some of those that did not live together before marriage were against divorce due to religious reasons, thereforeeee they would not get divorced even if they ended up hating each other. - The studies were only done for white, black and hispanic Americans. It doesn't even include Asian people, interracial couples or individuals of mixed ethnicities and most likely cannot be applied to every country in the world. - The people who conducted the study were simply correlating divorce with living together and correlation does not necessarily mean causation. If it did, you could also say that ice-cream causes drowning because ice-cream sales go up when more people drown in the summer.
  12. I would most likely wait because the majority of the time I have felt attracted to a man's personality, that attraction has expanded to include physical attraction over time. This occurred even when I felt no physical attraction when we first met.
  13. Annie24 has already posted a link on this in another thread: link removed Basically, there has not been enough long-term research carried out to determine whether this method of birth control is safe or not. Yes, it might have already been approved, but so have other drugs that have been found out to be killers a few years down the line. As booberry has already said, I don't want to take the risk of being someone else's guinea-pig.
  14. I agree with this 100%. As I've already said; expect friendship at the most and be happy if this meeting leads to a continuance of that friendship, but do not be so pessimistic that you believe everything will go completely wrong and you'll hate each other in the end. Stay in the middle ground: this is where you're guaranteed the least amount of hurt. If you stay in the lower ground and be pessimistic you will always be feeling pain all the time because of all the negativity you surround yourself with. This will be a new day, just like every day and you should treat it like a new day by staying in this middle ground for a change. Don't be pessimistic and treat it like it's the same nasty day from the past when someone stopped being your friend/rejected you because it is not the same day. I do not see how answering her question with my own experience would give her too many expectations. I said that it was not a date at the first meeting, but we did have a date later that night. I am sure quietgrl is smart enough to know that my experiences will not be identical to hers else she would not be convinced right now that she has bad luck with men. I also do not see how my advice on actually meeting him is giving her too many expectations: However, if you believe expecting a continued friendship at the most is having too high of an expectation, I have nothing else to say on the subject.
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