rpizzel

today after 34 days of no contact i sent her a facebook message....i miss her so much...it hurts me alot inside...it was casual...her bday is coming up and i tried to be alittle bit flirty...i know shes gonna read it and not think anything of it...she will most likely ignore it...weve been broken up for almost 6 months now...3.5 year relationship...it will be 6 months on our 4 year anniversary. it stinks so bad...i can still remember the last time i held her in my arms like it was yesterday. i can still remember the last time i kissed her. everything like it just happened...if only she knew the type of man i have now become and everything i would do for her. i would stop at nothing to make her happy. if only she could make my dreams come true. if only.

DAY 21 Its been 3 weeks since ive spoken to her. I really cant believe its come to this still. i still miss her everyday...i find myself often checking her facebook page and looking at her pictures just to see her face. Its driving me crazy...weve been broken up for almost 3 months now and the pain is just the same. i still cant believe how she just threw away 4 years down the tubes so quickly and easily. there are so many things i still wanna say to her. Things she will never hear. Things that will never come out of my mouth and into her ears. I dont even know if i should contact her next week. If after the 30 days she hasnt contacted me, should i contact her? i dont even know if she will care. or if anything will happen...or if she will have even missed me.

C, there are so many things i wish i could tell you. So many things i did tell u. I dont know how you can just toss me out of your life after being friends for almost 8 years and dating for nearly 4. I know i screwed up at times...i wasnt perfect, but i never cheated, never lied to you. i wasnt perfect. I tried, maybe not hard enough at times. Im so sorry. I just wish u missed me...wish u gave me a second chance...i loved you so much, why not give it a try? what do you have to lose? Its so weird that even as i write this i tear up...its been almost 3 months and i miss u the same everyday. NC for almost 3 weeks...im on day 20. i wish u would call, give me a second chance...i still have that ring i was gonna give to you this year on our 4 year anniversary. u knew i was gonna ask u to marry me...y run away from that? Come back love.

DAY 17 - I just decided to accept the challenge since i just found this website and this thread. Its been almost 3 weeks since ive spoken with my ex. The last time we spoke it was about nothing special...we had just finished separating bills and thats all she wanted to do. I feel like all is being lost. I still wake up every day sad. In my mind she is on a very long vacation. As it seems now, she will probably never be coming back. She said she was over me. We were living together for 2 years and dating for almost 4 years. I was planning on asking her to marry me this year on our 4 year anniversary. Sadly it will never happen. I have good days where im sad but dont cry. However i there are days when i think of her and just sob, wishing and hoping that she would just call or send me a message saying how much she misses me and why not try it just 1 more time. I will continue with no contact. I really hope and wish she does miss me in this time. I dont know what else to do...its almost been 3 months since we ended it and i miss her every day.