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happpybear

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happpybear last won the day on October 7 2012

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  1. The really loud construction workers that are working on the facade of my condo. They are not allowed to start up the equipment and jackhammer the brick until 8am, due to noise. But they show up at 7 and sit in the courtyard and yell and carry on at the top of their lungs...it's just as bad. I'm woken up just about everyday by one of them yelling "Let's go Blue Jays". They do it at lunch too, and often they swear and say lewd things. And there are kids here. People have complained to security, but nothing changes.
  2. Moralists. They're on par with militant vegans
  3. Dude sounds high-drama. And emotionally weak. My ex was like this. He was way over invested while I was still figuring it out. He did a lot of this "we need to talk" and also felt it was problematic that I was not feeling as nvested as he was and was also very "all of nothing". My ex was high drama, very anxious personality. It was exhausting. So I totally get how you feel. If he isn't interested or able to accept that this is how you work, being patient for you, then you can walk...It's hard not to get sucked in to situations like this and feel like you need to change in order to make him feel better...I know that I got sucked into that dynamic, I wanted to feel the way he felt about me, and I put a lot of pressure on myself because he wasn't cool with going with the flow and letting things develop. I always felt forced. I should have walked away sooner than I did...
  4. ^^Ya I am wondering what he means by that too I hope he can find a middle ground here. He has to realize that his approach and quick attachment would likely turn off most women...it reeks of desperation, even if that is not where it's coming from, you can be enthusiastic and keen without overkill.
  5. Notalady is right, the more you retreat, the more he will continue to go over the top to win you. I think it's an insecurity/anxiety based reaction. Do you find him to be overly sensitive too?
  6. Ya I get this, I would be bit resentful too. It surprises me the amount of people that don't deal with their issues before dating. And ya, it's not fair to you, because now you have developed feelings...and maybe that was the ploy...get you invested, and then dump all the bad stuff but then you would be more likely to stick around...I hate that crap. I realize that sounds really cynical but I have had this happen to me in the past--except they said all the right things, but never actually did much to fix their issues. Once you are invested it's so hard to just walk away, especially if they are saying all the right things about wanting to fix it/change etc. Hopefully he is not just paying you lip service and is legit about working this out. I think one day at a time is the best option too, and the most you can do--for your own sake...until he shows that he is actually legit and genuinely working to overcome it.
  7. Hmmm, yep the rose would concern me too, and the fact that he had to go out of his way to give it too you..plus a rose is so effing cliche and cheezeball. I can see how this would be a turn-off, or if he continues to push, would totally ruin things. He seems really attached already and that might slip into neediness and clingyness....might be good to bring this up with him, it might be an awkward convo.
  8. This explains a whoooole lot. Poor guy can't handle himself around you at all, hehe
  9. Yeah, I also am not sure how on earth he gets by without masturbating...I think, it would probably be a good idea to slowly ease yourselves into the physical stuff because I could see it being a bit odd at first...and don't mean to be rude there, just I can see a situation where he can't last at all--because like withlove said, he is probably going to explode from deprivation--and then he'll get really shy and embarrassed about it.
  10. so maybe the new game plan is to have your dates in his "comfy" places until he is over his shyness--activity dates are more interesting anyway, I think. It is really daunting to sit face-to-face for a few hours with someone that you don't know that well, are attracted to and want them to like you too....
  11. seems like he is action-packed with issues. I think he needs to work on himself a bit more to overcome his hang-ups etc. Like he isn't "ready" yet...It reminds me a bit of that move "As Good as it Gets" where the Carole says to Melvin "...Your not ready, and you are a pretty old guy to not be ready, and I'm to old to ignore that"...lol.
  12. Geez that is a weird situation. I think it's good to take some time to mull if you are on the fence. But I totally understand not wanting to continue if by this point you are still having to drag info out of him...He sounds like a lot of work actually...I get shyness, I used to be the shyest person alive, but when I was so shy like that i also wasn't really relationship material...the shyness and essentially fear of letting my guard down enough to be open about myself made me emotionally unavailable.... I also find it odd that he is shy in some ways, and that you have to pry stuff out, yet then opens up about his masturbation thing..which is a bit of an odd thing to disclose, just an odd admission this early on and a bit like TMI..?
  13. Ya, well his shyness might totally dissipate when he is more comfortable with you. The kissing might also calm down too like notalady said, nerves can really mess things up sometimes
  14. Ya, I had this problem with one of my exes...same tongue thing. One night when we were kissing, I gently said that I wasn't used to that much tongue or that I usually don't kiss with so much tongue (or something like that) and then I said "I like to kiss like this" and then I showed him....unfortunately, the kissing was always bad between us, to the point were after a short time I just stopped kissing him, and the sex was also bad...our relationship didn't last long....I don't want to be a downer, sorry, lol, my ex had an ego and had issues with me being honest about this stuff, so if your guy is ok with listening to your needs then it probably won't be a problem....just be gentle when you tell him
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