kennyc90

I agree. Once you have contact with your ex again, instead of jumping the gun, you should take it slow and get to know each other again. Well, that's what usually happens anyways, after a long period of NC.

Anybody can get back together. For some, it takes a lot more time than others. It's really all about patience. I mean I'm not trying to say to not date other people and cry all day over the dumper because that wouldn't be healthy. The dumpee usually ends up not wanting to get back with the ex after such a long period of time because they just move on and usually find someone else. The dumper starts missing the dumpee. You really can't wait forever. All I'm really trying to get at is getting back together successfully requires a lot of time apart and I'm not talking about a few weeks apart. It takes at least months or even years for the reconciliation to actually really mean something. If they want space, then give them space, like lots of space. If you're in LC, then just always be friendly and support them BUT NOT PUSHY. NC and LC have advantages and disadvantages. Lots of people use NC so that they focus on their own lives and you can't contact your ex and do something stupid to make matters worse. But everyone HAS TO MOVE ON from the past relationship. Time really does help the hate feelings go away. Go out there and date people. It's just healthy and helps you stop thinking about your ex. Then time flies (you date a few people and you feel great) and usually (if both are NC) the dumper will contact the dumpee. The dumpee is either dating someone, has totally moved on, or open to talk again. If the dumper never contacts you, then the dumpee can contact them. You have to be ready though. That's why people here encourage dumpees, that want to initiate contact, usually wait for months or even a year because by this time the dumpee has moved on and will usually be ready for anything the dumper could say to them. Just stay strong guys. Oh and if you've cheated or abused your ex, then nothing I said above applies to you. The reason why I say this is because from my experience, I have yet to see a reconciliation between the one's who have cheated and abused their ex's. If you have always been supportive of them and loved them for who they were, you have a good chance in the future to get back together. It's going to require a lot of time and patience, but make sure you're not hesitant to date other people! This helps you feel more attractive and helps you feel better as an overall person! I miss my ex and literally have thought about her since the day she broke up with me, but what helps me is understanding the importance of having this time apart so we can both improve as better people.

I read success stories because they somehow give me hope and helps me move on. Some of these are really awesome.

Day 53 This will be my last day of NC. I'm sending her and her family a Christmas card tomorrow. Yeah, I completely thought about all of this and the reason why I'm doing it. Her family has taken care of me since the beginning of this year. I need to find a way to pay my respects to her family. I am aware that I most likely won't get any sort of response from her. I'm not planning to actually contact her any time soon since she's still with her new boyfriend. I can't believe she has a new boyfriend. Till this day, I can't believe she has a new boyfriend. I won't interfere. I won't view him as "competition." NC is a great way to heal and a good place to start. I've healed enough to the point that I understand the whole situation and I can continue to love her while I continue to live my life and achieve my goals. I'm completely aware with what I do. I study my patterns and try to understand why I'm feeling the way I'm feeling here and there. I've learned to hold onto some hope and not just toss all of it out the window because honestly, hope is what's driving me to become a better person. It's hard to explain lol but I'm learning how to hold onto it and move on with my life at the same time. I won't be calling her or texting her or facebook her (she blocked me anyways -.-). I believe that time heals and even changes attitudes. So yeah, I'll just say that I've learned a lot, not just from here, but also from a whole bunch of self helping books and I'm gonna apply all the knowledge I've obtained and use it in my situation. One thing though, I'm an open guy. I don't mind having flings here and there with other chicks. I used to be that guy who would feel guilty about being intimate with other girls because of my love towards my ex, but nope it's not like that anymore. I mean yeah I love my ex with all my heart, but if I saw a super fine chick standing in front of me and wanted to have sex, then I'm all for it. In the end, I wanna be with my ex but I'm going to have to test my patience. I'm definitely not "looking" for a relationship, but I don't mind going on flings. So yeah, I'll be going NC again after I break it tomorrow, but I'm gonna be writing in my own personal journal with how I feel. I will probably make an online journal here too.

Day 52 I got off early from work today. It was nice for a change. Umm pretty much the highlight of my day was I had an amazing workout today! Man it felt great. But yeah other than that, looking forward to tomorrow. I'm planning on gift wrapping tomorrow lol I haven't even done that yet. I'm also planning on baking cookies. But yeah today wasn't too bad of a day. I just can't wait until I see my parents. It's been 1 year since I last saw them. It's been 1 year since I've taken leave in the military. I can't wait this time... I miss you guys.

Day 51 Yesterday it was my duty day. It went smooth and no problems. I had a good shift and I got plenty of sleep.

Day 50 Wow I'm getting old lol jk. Today really wasn't all that great. Well, I watched the movie "TRON" which was pretty awesome. I like futuristic, fantasy movies like that. I dressed up nice to go to the movie theaters. Women were checking me out because I saw them. But yeah. I'm really tired today. Tomorrow will be a long work day since I have to stay on the ship. For some reason, the weather here in San Diego isn't very cheery. It's been raining a lot. Umm I also went to the track to do some high intensity interval training. My legs are sore lol. My abs will be sore tomorrow as well. I'm thinking about her a lot lately. Sometimes I wish that I just didn't care. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a heart. I love her so much. 50 days just isn't enough time, enough space between me and her. I'm slowly moving into the phase where I want to experience some fun out there, that includes having flings with other women. I always think about it too. Whatever I guess.. I'm letting myself open from now on. I won't feel guilty if I slept with another woman. I need to enjoy my own sex life too as she's probably enjoying it with her new partner. I guess whatever happens, happens. All you beautiful women out there, go ahead and have me. I promise you will love what you see my physique has totally changed. Man my ex is missing out.

Thanks bro I will take your advice!

Day 49 It's officially been 7 weeks since I last saw her and tried to text her. Wow 7 weeks ago was the day I accidentally saw her. These weekends are really tough. It seems like days are getting harder and harder. Is it because of the holiday season? She's probably talking to her new boyfriend as we speak. Heck, I don't even know if they are official. Since I found out that they were talking again, I took a step back from healing but at the same time I'm healing faster. Somehow I'm accepting the fact that she likes this guy a lot and I can't really do anything about it. I won't view him as competition. The best thing I can do is to just work on myself. Earlier today, I added her brother on facebook. I saw her profile but there is no way I will add her as a friend. At least not yet, I'm definitely not ready yet. I need more time, more time to heal, for her to forget the negative thoughts about me. Time is a great medicine to heal. I still love her with all my heart. It's been 6 months since I last kissed her. Ugh I need to stop thinking about that. I love you so much, I hope you feel it.

Day 48 I didn't post yesterday so I will post now. Yesterday I felt like crap. I was thinking too much. Sucks when I have those days.

Day 47 I'm at work right now and ready to go to sleep here in about an hour. Today was probably one of the best duty days I have ever had. I don't really feel like writing much. I haven't really thought about my ex today. Usually on Fridays, I always think about what she's doing but today I held pretty strong and kept my mind off things. So yeah.. I guess not much going for me right now.

Day 46 I'm so tired right now. Today I prepared a lot of food for tomorrow because I have some sort of potluck at work. Me and my buddy decided to make sushi and teriyaki chicken. The whole process was pretty fun, but it was such a pain to clean up. I'm just ready to go to bed. I even went to the gym to workout so my body is done, totally done. ..I wonder if you ever think about me. I think about you every single day. I miss you every single day. I'm not even surprised if you're with someone else now. I just know that I love you. Take care and God bless.. Stay strong guys!

Day 45 I felt really groggy this morning for some reason. Dengg work went by slowww again lol. Maybe it's because I just want to get off. Half of the crew already went on vacation today. My roommate already left for Colorado. He'll be back on the 27th of December. I'm leaving on the 30th of December. I hope there isn't too much to do at work since half of the crew is pretty much gone. After work, me and my buddy decided to go out to eat at Rubios. I usually don't eat out anymore because I'm on a healthy plan right now. I eat at least 6 meals a day. It's insane haha. I'm gaining weight and my physique is slowly changing into something I've never been in before. I went to do some sprints today and wow the workout totally destroyed my core. I need to rest.. My ex.. I didn't think about her too much today. It's so weird because I'll be in such a great mood and out of nowhere, I would get a flashback of a bad memory and I almost break down. I'm slowly getting better at handling those situations. I learned to accept that I love her. She may be with someone else at the moment, I don't know, but I just love her. I just need to do my own thing right now and respect her space. I'm slowly improving as an individual. Alright well I really gotta go to sleep. Good luck fellas! I'll be back on tomorrow! Goodnight..

Haha yeah? I would it's just that I'm not sure if I could actually keep up with it. I usually don't log on until right before I sleep lol. Hmm we'll see

Day 44 I was up since 12am today. I am SOOO tired lol. After I write this, I'm passing out. Man work was such a lonnnnng day today. I need to get through these days. Life is great when I'm off and doing my own thing. Even though I was really tired today, I ended up going to the gym to work out. It was a good workout so tomorrow I should be pretty sore. I get paid tonight so I'm looking forward to seeing my hard earned money tomorrow. As for my ex, I'm so tired at the moment that I refuse to even think about her! I just wanna sleep!! Haha I just feel great after every workout. Alright well I wish the best of luck with everyone! Goodnight fellas!!