jennb0benn

Still hurt and pitied. You still had feelings for her, my gut always told me but I ignored it because I was the "insecure" one. But she's really nice, and smart, and 'beautiful'. I was just sex, the pretty girl, nothing inside. I never want to see you again, I just want to move on and love myself. I never want to see you, even when I am so happy. Why do people do mean things and hurt people.

It's been a little more than 2 months and I'm ready to drop this. I've done my fair share of analyzing and grieving. Should I hate you? Should I wish the best? Should I just not care? My head is on straight and multiple perspectives are coming to me. You caused so much pain, you're a monster. I am not perfect either, but hell I always came around in the end. So I guess I will hate you and at the same time, decide not to care that I want to remember you that way. You're a monster. the end. now I am tossing you in the back of my mind as that. Goodbye.

Up, down, up, down, up, up, up..... Goodbye, _________. So long, so well! Life has been good without you and will continue to be onward and upward for me. It's amazing what time and space can do.

I'm back at square 5. How could you move on so quickly? Yes, it is your life and your will but...it still hurts I did love you genuinely despite the fact you hurt me on so many levels. No one else can hurt me this much. I am still going to stay single and wait for the perfect guy. The right guy will come, I just need to wait.....

I'm missing you less. My feelings are fading. Our story is becoming vaguer. My dignity and self are resurfacing. With all of my progress, I'm beginning to wonder...was it real? Did I exaggerate my need for you to be with me? All I have left to do is forgive you and myself so I can be 100% set free.

I miss you and I hate you.