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Derek

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Derek last won the day on January 24 2006

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About Derek

  • Birthday 10/26/1973

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  1. the fear may be losing him if his friends don't like you... Someone who is as intelligent as you can certainly make people rise to a notch above "small talk". Maybe just have genuine curiosity about people no matter their caste or place in live. Perhaps just meet one or two at a time instead of a whole group at once. Then you both could ease into it and when you meet the big group then you will have some allies to start with. Derek
  2. Let me sum up the matter in my view: MissDashwood, aren't you worth more than wishy-washy love? Give it up with that guy. He's weak.
  3. Derek

    Sex Tips?

    Dude, Guys often think in terms of technique, like "position lever here, press button there" and then "such and such" happens. But women are holistic. (look it up) Think in terms of atmosphere, location, music, smells, her entire day, her entire life. How do you make her forget about all the rest that is going on in her multi-tasking brain. Think about using every sense, hearing (music, sensual talk), taste (strawberries, ice cream), touch (clothes, gloves, silk, oil, massage, showers), visual (candles, lights), smell (shower,cologne, candles) Don't need to do all that at once either, mix it up. If you really want a technique or recipe, how about this: instead of pump action, try doing figure eights with your hips like a latin dancer. Try alternating deep vs shallow penetration. Try oral sex until orgasm for her first, then any thing after than is just a bonus for her. Mutually timed orgasm is not the holy grail. Try hot tubs, friction, cyber talk, phone talk, ice cubes, carbonated drinks, syrops, fruits, wax, power tools, tops of washer/dryers, leather boots/gloves.
  4. If you can just let it be and not talk about it, fine, Time will eventually let his feelings fade. But if it does come up, perhaps you can say "Kenny, I don't think we are a romantic match right now, but I want you to know I want you to be happy. I think we should both try and get a boyfriend and girlfriend for each of us and we can gossip about them later on. Whatddya say?" He'll mumble, "but I'll be happy with you..." You'll say, " but it just can't work for me, I'm sorry, let's just enjoy the movie." And he'll sulk... Time will pass... Then he'll get over it when he meets that Grade 12 girl with the flippy blonde hair and her cute apple bottomed jeans. Then he'll really get over it when he's in college and meets 20 of those same kinda girls. Then he'll marry one of those losers. Then you'll be lonely and wonder "what if..." Or not...
  5. I look at the posts and Rufus makes me laugh. I see a dripping sarcasm, snappy wit that I bet alot of ladies would be entertained by. The thread said something along the lines of instead of trying to make them like you, try to "make them feel good" Can you be flirty and entertaining. Funny. Making fun of them and their "boy toys" and making fun of the absurdities of life. If you can do those things, You could be a contender my boy. They might see that there is more to you than you are letting on. Your mother taught you too well to put women on a pedestal. Women are just as good and bad as guys are. They have their faults and foibles too. Just as guys do. Women are human. Treat them like humans. Derek
  6. My read is she is in the middle of friendszoning him. He's serious, he's not that flirty, he's always there to "do stuff with". I think he's gotta push the romantic envelop, even one level (hands or a kiss) and see how she reacts. I read the stuff about acne/clothes/demeanor as just rationalizations for a pattern of behaviour. Eventually you have to take it at face value. She may not be that into you. What's the worst that could happen if you lay your cards on the table? Something like: "I like you, you like me, I'd be happy to try "us" out, would you?" Do the players or ladies on enotalone think that's just too direct? Loses the mystery? To me it sounds like they've built enough rapport over the many activities they've done. Why not risk it? Derek
  7. Well, Doesn't sound like it's balancing out well for you. (you paying for most everything) If you guys have been together for 8 months, might you have enough connection to talk about this honestly together? Like couldn't you gently remind him that he's got to give a little too. If after talking about it (not just hinting but him really understanding), things don't change even a little... Then can you live with what he's giving you? (sounds like you can't) Then perhaps he's not the Long Term guy for you. About what dating IS? well it's supposed to be "get-to-know-ya" time for two people to learn about each other and share experiences together to see if they are compatible for further exclusive commitment (often marriage). In reality it often is both people put their best foot forward and cover up their flaws. So you meet each other's best representative at first. So even when he's supposed to be putting his best foot forward, he's not cutting it? That's a bad sign. Imagine down the road when you are actually taken for granted, what kind of effort he'll put in then. Derek
  8. Well, the women in this thread may have given me back a little hope in the opposite sex again. I'd rather a relationship be REAL in every way. Even if it doesn't look like a hollywood romance. At least it's real...
  9. Clever girl... I recently had to give someone the honest truth, i.e. the "let's just be friends" bit... she was none too pleased... She thought I analyzed the relationship far too much. I thought I was being honest and direct. Perhaps I could have "played along" with everything being Care Bears and Lollipops but that wouldn't have been honest. Hrm.
  10. "attraction" is too vague. Some guys might like how she carries herself. A girl might like the way he makes her laugh. A guy might like her feet even. A girl might like the dimples in his cheeks. But that's only the start of things isn't it... Then maybe once you learn more it's about how they fit into your life. How they make you feel. How they influence you. How they challenge you. Or perhaps more sinister, how they LOOK on your arm. Or how you look on THEIR arm. The Attraction can change as people know each other more. You wonder how models and actresses lose in love (divorce) all the time when they are the most "attractive" (and rich) people in the world. If it really was about mere looks, they'd have it made no?
  11. Is Raykay an exception to "most girls" ? =) Maybe I should have worded it more like, they want to "feel" like they are the one and only most special girl of all time, ever, etc. If a girl wants the fantasy over reality, perhaps she's not strong enough to handle the truth? (denial?)
  12. When dating, Girls want to think they are the only one, they want to think they are the center of your attention, they want to think they turn you on and no other, they want to think they are the only thing on your mind, they want to think they are special above all others, they want to be swept off their feet in a whirlwind of romance and pure love. If a guy is honest about what he is really thinking or feeling, (i.e. he's not sure about it) the ladies get mad because he broke the romantic fantasy. He "talked about it" and thus "ruined it". The guy ruined the girl's fantasy land with honesty. Do most women really want a man to feed their own romantic fantasy instead of the realism of honesty? If so, where is the line between little white lies to give her what she wants and very black lies which could use her?
  13. I can't read between the lines for all the flirting going on...
  14. My advice is to touch, alot, everywhere else, tenderly and perhaps firmly too. Regarding the actual act, perhaps try things like: - draw the entire alphabet with your tongue on her outsides. - no teeth - don't just toungue flic (don't do like you see in porn, porn angles and lights are made to "see", but don't always feel that great), instead of flic'ing, eat the whole thing, drool all over, be messy. - mix it up, use variety, it can get painfully sensitive if you do the same thing over and over (like your manhood can too) - it's all about the clitoris in the end. - the finger advice from above is good, - it's easier to find the g-spot if she's warmed up - lubrication is good. - listen to her advice, - ask her for feedback, but not on every little thing, surprise her a little You said you wanted advice from women, have you asked yourself why would most straight women know how to give women oral?
  15. I'm a man, don't trust what a man says when he's in the middle of making out with you. He's not thinking straight. =)
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