Jump to content

FootofGod

Gold Member
  • Posts

    799
  • Joined

FootofGod's Achievements

Enthusiast

Enthusiast (6/14)

  • First Post
  • Collaborator
  • Posting Machine Rare
  • Conversation Starter
  • Week One Done

Recent Badges

33

Reputation

  1. I haven't wanted to contact you in a while... but, God. The memories! So many good ones!... all of them, really. All of them are good, even the ones maybe you thought were unspectacular or even bad, even the ones where you were crying (because usually I was there making you happy). I wish I could remind you of all of them - so many small things you may have forgotten - the warthog, the penis song, the booboo song... hahaha, the chainsaw/spider joke and all those other ridiculous late night discussions that had our sides aching!... oh my God, all the bad puns. So many bad puns. I remember when we met the guy in the Salvation Army who, like us, was looking for old records and he talked about how he used to listen to King Crimson and do LSD every week and how we agreed he was the coolest random guy ever. It makes me wonder if you forgot... there's just no way a sane person can look at all of those things and not want it or think less of it. There's just nothing better than that stuff. I guess you never appreciated the big things like I did.
  2. Day 40+ I can't imagine a reason in the world why I would contact you.
  3. I don't remember the last time I had an urge to contact you. I haven't even been writing in my journal! I guess I've just accepted there's nothing to do but see what comes and take it as it does.
  4. Day 5 billion Haha, I'm so naughty. The only contact we ever have is pokes on facebook (since I defriended you but didn't block you) that I return occasionally, but only if the mood strikes me. I'll see the poke, go "meh," remove it, then 4 or 5 days later decide "eh, okay I'll poke her back" and then next morning, like clockwork, there's a fresh poke waiting for me. ...hehe, I'm the dumpee and I'm the one handing out breadcrumbs now I almost feel a little guilty, but for the most part it delights me. If you never poked me back, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it... but it seems like you really like seeing that poke on your wall. Afterall, it is how we first met - we started chatting on facebook after I saw you and your current bf's WEDDING (gee, girl, you sure don't learn lessons from watching others- look at how his marriage turned out) and poking each other nonstop! I wonder if you remember that. The past seems to be all out of whack for you.
  5. I think a one word reply will do - "yes." And if you're not really FB active, just stay the course and don't go getting active all the sudden.
  6. Day ??? +2 (gotta be near 30) Poor girl. I know how poorly you manage your emotions. Even if you were months past me when you broke up, which I don't think you were, you are a slow healer and cling to your past with your mind. You left me for an old crush, and I bet when you're with him, it's going to feel like you're on top of the world... but how often are you driving home, feeling distant from him and can't cling, and your world comes crashing down? Are you riding that rollercoaster, too? Constantly getting up, up, up from buzz of a new relationship only to hit so low you want to die, only to turn and do it again? Or is it really perfect, you don't regret any of it, and you are over and done? I don't think so. I wish I could tell you how much your world is going to crash when your honeymoon phase ends with this one. Unless you find yet another guy to hop to, you're going to face all of your demons at one, and it's going to hurt more than I care to think about. And if you find a new guy, you're just going to build a structure of wandering emotions on a broken foundation, and we all know you can only jump from one thing to another for so long before it all falls down, there's nowhere left to jump, you're in a corner, it's dark, and you simply know there's only one way out - pain. I empathize a lot with that pain right now, and I wish I could stop you but I can't. It's painful for me and a few of your friends to just watch you hurt yourself and not be able to do anything.
  7. Day ??? You were amazing for 2 years, then it took one moment of weakness for you to revert to a confused child in a grown-up's world. The girl I knew was better than this. I suppose I never truly knew you - oh well, we all make mistakes. Mine was believing in you.
  8. There's no way you will just get past me so fast after what we had... is there? You barely got past your first boyfriend, and he was a narcissist jerk.
  9. I haven't talked to her since I initiated NC just shy of a month ago, outside of some very short responses to non-relationship related texts (we live together but she's out of town, she got important mail at our place, etc). And recently I texted her to tell me if she wants anything dropped off when I come into town. I'm done counting days of NC. I actually don't care if I see her or talk to her - I know where I stand, what I do and don't want, would and wouldn't say, and all that. Thinking through every single possibility is tiring, but eventually you reach the point where you know what you'd do in most any situation, and there's no need for words. I can't be her friends, but it doesn't hurt much anymore, so I could stand to be a courteous human being again and just pretend she's not my ex.
  10. I contacted my ex today via text to tell her I'm coming down into town in the next few days and she should tell me if she needs me to bring any of the stuff from our place. I feel no guilt in breaking no contact, because I just sort of don't care. And it had a purpose. I know I don't owe her any favors, but she's going to contact me and ask anyway, and if it's convenient, I'm not going to be an * * * * * * * . It's a "favor" I'd do for anybody, so her being my ex is sort of neither here nor there.
  11. Day I don't know I don't know what day it is and I don't care! Still write in the journal occasionally, still get pretty sad, especially if I'm having a rough day, but I don't feel the need to count anymore, occasionally I can avoid thinking about it at all, and I'm ready to just go on and see what happens! I've gotta do what I've gotta do and she's gotta do what she's gotta do and maybe the two will converge somewhere, but I'm not all that concerned with it.
  12. We were on the same path in life, you knew I was ready to commit, I was there to be your strength but needed you to be mine, and not even by much. You just had to keep being my loving girlfriend. But you did something so uncharacteristic of you - went with your hormones, allowed your own judgement to cloud, threw it all away for a guy who isn't worth the time of day. A guy we've both lived with before and seen how bad he is. A guy who hasn't changed and still lives to smoke pot. A guy who treated his ex, your friend, like total * * * * . And you traded the first boyfriend who gave you such a level of satisfaction for so long like that? Who wants to be better? Could I even let you back if you came back? Oh, I know you'll be in contact eventually. You pretty much stalked your first ex, even though you thought he was an * * * * * * * . You beg for continuous closure, almost as if you are looking down on him to comfort where you are in life. I'm sorry, but when you look at me, I'll be shining. No comfort will come like that. Maybe you'll regret it and I'll have to think long and hard about rather you deserve my heart again. You already crushed it once, and no matter how much you pretend you did it for the right reasons, you didn't. And we've both been miserable since.
×
×
  • Create New...