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hater13

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  1. I still remember the day I asked for no contact, I called you and said it was best if we didn't speak. I still remember how emotionlessly you said 'we should just be friends' the lack of caring in your voice. I still remember it all. I remember how I called you that day to tell you I thought it was best for us not to speak and you said so cooly 'ok, is there anything else you wanted to say'. .... You're happier now. You're living a better life without me. So why can't I seem to move on it's been 3 months.....
  2. I realize the mistakes I've made, I pay for them every single day. I still cry everyday because I miss you so much... I know I can't do any better then you.. Because you're amazing. No one can love me the way you loved me. I miss you G I miss you so much come back.. Please. I would email you first but I can't handle the rejection, my self esteem is at an all time low. I have so much to share with you. Do you miss me? I see you have not deleted me on msn why is that? Is it because you still want to contact me one day? Please G just follow your heart, do what your heart tells you. Love always, H
  3. hope you miss me like crazy I see you haven't blocked me on msn I don't get you
  4. ok so I admit I creeped your facebook sunday morning after a stupid night shift at work (I shouldn't have, I know but I did). I saw "you" wrote "i love you princess" to that "friend" of yours. Naturally this made me realize you had moved on and made me angrier at myself for still wanting you. I was wearing that beautiful swarovski necklace you gave me at the time, out of anger I threw it out along with everything else you ever gave me. It's in the dump somewhere in Toronto, I'm sure my presents to you were there long before. So then being idiotic as I am I checked back on your facebook and realized the girl who had been posting on your wall has a picture of herself hugging another guy as her dp. She is just a friend and had gone into your facebook and posted that "i love you" comment. LOL either way I feel stupid for overreacting but i'm happy that I threw away your things, I guess God wanted me to react that way so I could finally let go. Anyway I think you should know that's it's very inappropriate to say "i love you" and other such things to a girl who is JUST A FRIEND (that you only met a few months ago) AND she has a boyfriend. I'm sure you would have reacted very poorly if I had done that with my male friends, but unlike you I don't just say "i love you" to every fool that gives me the slightest attention. Anyway how's life and such? How's " * * * * relationships, get drunk and ride bikes" going for you? well I hope? LOL Anyway life kinda sucks for me, but at least I don't live with the delusion that "love sucks". At least I'm not awkwardly flirting with a friend who already has a boyfriend lol. hope you miss me like crazy because you won't ever find another girl quite like me. love always, if you're reading this you know who I am.
  5. Don't know the exact day. It's been months. Almost 3 months of nice in 3 weeks time. Wonder how you're doing? I stopped checking your fb btw.. Kinda thought it was pointless since you don't think about me. For all you know I could be dead and it wouldn't matter to you. Anyway hope you're enjoying your summer I'll probably see you in September until then take care of yourself. I wonder if you look any different
  6. hahah i love you avatar! everytime i see my ex sign in (it isn't very often but still) my stomach turns
  7. "no contact" isn't even a challenge anymore. I feel no overbearing need to call or text you...i just wish you would at least try to contact me. 2.5 months in and i don't feel any better you said it'd take me less then a month...it didn't. maybe that's how long it took you. love you still xo time doesn't heal anything
  8. why does this still hurt.... I'm sure you're probably at home (or with your friends) enjoying yourself, smiling and being happy...while I'm miserable. i miss you babe xo
  9. I can't sleep without some kind of sleeping aids anymore. what have you done to me......
  10. 2 months later I still lay awake thinking about you I see you're online, are you thinking of me too? probably not I miss you.
  11. I think I need to start facebook no contact.... it's not fair that my ex never has to see my profile but I always look at his (through a mutual friends profile). I know it's pathetic but I get some kind of comfort knowing he's alright... WHY DO I WORRY AND CARE FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T GIVE A * * * * ABOUT ME!
  12. not doing well at all... sometimes I wish my ex would stumble upon these boards and recognize who I am. Then again I rethink it and realize he probably wouldn't care anyway- he's just think I'm pathetic for still being sad about this while he's moved on wonderfully. I'm moving away from my hometown, I've lived here all my life since I was a baby.... I'm moving to a completely different city where I don't know anyone. I've been crying all day. I'll miss this place, I'll miss my friends, I'll miss the people I've been with since kindergarden. The city I'm moving to is closer to my ex, but what does that even matter...that just increases the already non-existant chances of awkwardly running into him. I wonder what I would do if I ever did see him again. ignore him? smile? awkwardly say hi? lol. He'd ignore me....so I guess I'd ignore him too. I hope we do run into each other sometime soon, you can see how much I've changed. I literally LOOK different..... I wonder if he looks different too. Do you still keep that scruff I said looks good on you? maybe? who knows.. anyway I don't know what else to say right now. I have so much to share with you..so much that I can't even tell you. Will I ever be able to share anything with you again? xx
  13. You're probably asleep right now. If not then you should be. I hope you're well, I hope you're safe. I hope you're eating properly. I heard that new job of yours makes you really tired... I hope you're alright. Are you still taking those motorcycle lessons? If you are then please be safe. You inspired me to take them too but maybe that's just because I want to feel like I'm a part of your life again... I miss you. Do you miss me? I guess not... Maybe I'm just that forgettable. You're never going to see this but if you do you'll know it's me. I still worry about you the same way I used too. Btw I never threw out your present, my heart won't let me I still wear the necklace sometimes, not that often though... Looking at it makes my stomach turn and then all I can do is cry. I'm sorry the Teddy bear is in a box... I had to put it away. Did you keep my presents? Probably not. I think they're in some landfill in Toronto..... If you're wondering how I am (you aren't) I've never been worse. Maybe I'll see you again one day. Until then, much love and take care of yourself. I'll always love you.
  14. I think the universe hates me... You were on my "friends suggestion" list on facebook. OMG!!!
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