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jubear

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  1. Hi, Im in the same boat. I divorced my hubby of 10 years for my married lover of 2 but am still waiting for him to divorce and he tells me all the same things as you have all heard, i stay for the kids, i love her but am not in love with her, i want you forever, we will be together etc. He bides for more time, and lately i am starting to ask myself that if he truly wanted me, he would leave and there would be no excuses. He is a very insucure person anyway, and sometimes i understand through my own experiences in my divorce and it was very hard to do it and change my life. But, im so messed up as i truly believe he loves me totally. He pursues me to the end of the earth and even when i have tried to end us, he wont let me and keeps coming back. He lies to me about sex with her, then i find out months later and it hurts like hell. I feel my life is in limbo yet he promises that he will leave and just wants an amicable divorce. Yet, 15 months have passed with the same excuses and the same lies and the same everything. All i want is him. He watches me suffer but says it will never happen again and im so confused by his love. He permanently askes me to marry him. Lately, he hasnt slept with me for 7 weeks now and im even more confused as he wanted sex all the time so can only assume he is having it with her yet he swears he is not and it is so hard not to believe him. Yet, he does everything for me and is so loving and talks of nothing but our future but says he is scared of the unknown. His wife has known about us for 18 months now and wont let him go and uses his kids against him etc, but he is still there and i have no way of knowing what is going on but want to believe he is leaving and the wheels are in motion. She always tells me a different story. I ask him constantly if he wants to go back to her but he says no, the only person he wants is me. Its hard. What do you all think?
  2. hi. If you let him go then yes he obviously will stay with his wife as you wont be there. Im in the same boat with a married man and have been for 2 years. If you love him, be patient, he will come.
  3. I stayed in a love less marriage for some seven years for the sake of our three children and it was the biggest of my life. It does not get better, and you just learn to hate your spouse in the end. The rows and tensions at home were terrible. My daughter of 8 suffered and had to go to a child psycologist. The atmosphere at home was awful. When i divorced a year ago, i felt as if i had began to be alive again and the children are so happy now in our own home and see their dad regular every other day, there is no shouting in the house and we can all run around and have fun and smile again. I can actually have a conversation with now. Sure it hurts and is traumatic and you wonder if everything will be better, but is does get better. I miss him sometimes, but only as there is no-one around when you need someone to help out. I am happier than i have ever been. Its never a mistake if you feel its time to move on and you cant stay just for the children as its them that really suffer seeing their parent's hating each other and so unhappy.
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