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Wonderstruck

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  1. This is called "weaponized incompetence". Basically, it's a way to avoid having to contribute equally to household or child-rearing tasks, by suggesting that it would just be easier if the other person did it because "they're better at it" or "they're the one that usually does it". It's also a deliberate way to frustrate you so much that you will eventually give up and stop asking him to help you out. What redeeming qualities does this guy have? He sounds AWFUL. Do you really want to have to mother a grown man?
  2. Yeah, this was her way of trying to "let you down gently". A lot of women don't feel comfortable directly turning down a guy, so they will resort to more passive moves like inviting a friend as a "buffer", in order to make it CLEAR that you guys are "just friends". No woman who was genuinely interested in a guy would ever say "You two would make a good couple!" about the guy and ANOTHER woman. She said that as ANOTHER way of conveying to you that she is NOT interested in being more than friends. I would strongly recommend this. And I would discourage you from "walking right through that", because "walking right through" women's boundaries and guardrails, that they have put in place for a REASON, isn't going to play out the way that you want it to. If you DO decide to go, please don't be shocked or angry if she doesn't want to be more than friends. And please respect any decision she makes.
  3. You didn't do this because you're "nice", you did it because you're that guy who's waiting in the wings, hoping to have a chance with her, even though she has made it clear that she is NOT interested in you. That is NOT being "nice". Also, women are not obligated to be interested in you simply because you're a "nice guy". That's something that you should be, REGARDLESS if it attracts women or not.
  4. This. I can't believe he had the audacity to admit to you that you were essentially his "Fallback Girl". I wouldn't even consider going out on a date with him.
  5. @Radiant41, no, you are NOT leading him on whatsoever. He's just refusing to take "No" for an answer, and trying to "wear you down", as so many creepy, entitled men try to do. And this is EXACTLY why I have no regrets or remorse over "getting mean" with men who REFUSE to politely "take the hint" and BACK OFF. Unfortunately, it's often the only way to get them to leave you alone. I'm really sorry that you're going through this. I hate hearing about men who make women feel uncomfortable, especially at their place of work.
  6. This. You shouldn't have to explain basic decency, loyalty, and respect to him like a CHILD. I suspect that THIS is the reason behind his behaviour. @JosieC, please break up with this guy as soon as possible, and find a guy who would never dream of acting in such a creepy, immature, and disrespectful way.
  7. Oh, EW. SHOW, don't TELL. Something in the milk isn't clean with ANY guy who feels the need to BRAG about having qualities that are associated with being a "good person". You seem to have a really good head on your shoulders, and I think that you should continue to follow your gut instinct. Also, I agree 100% with Catfeeder's post: You do NOT need to justify your lack of interest in this guy to a bunch of strangers on an internet forum.
  8. Agreed, I NEVER trust a guy who feels the need to announce that they're a "good guy", or that they're "kind, humble, and empathetic". If they were actually ANY of those things, they would SHOW it through their ACTIONS. And they would also have the self-awareness to realize that BRAGGING about being "good" or "kind" is the exact opposite of ACTUALLY being "good" or "kind". @Shycarrot, I would be very careful if I were you. ❤️
  9. I agree with this entire post 100%. I don't feel sorry for you. You are not the victim here.
  10. @niceknowingyou45, I just wanted to make a few, very important points that I think you really need to hear. You are NOT obligated to put up with a disrespectful, CONTROLLING, emotionally manipulative Mother-In-Law just because OTHER PEOPLE were forced to put up with horrible in-laws because their spouses REFUSED TO STAND UP FOR THEM. I, personally, would never stay in a relationship with someone who refused to CONSISTENTLY stand up for me to their disrespectful parents, or refused to draw strict boundaries in order to protect me from emotional abuse. It's great if your fiancé IS standing up for you, but please make sure that he continues to do so EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. Yes, you ARE entitled to that. Yes, that is the BARE MINIMUM. Your future Mother-In-Law is the one who is CONTROLLING, not you. If she insinuates that you're controlling, then she is projecting her behaviour onto you. Your future Mother-in-Law absolutely owes you an apology for her behaviour. RESPECT GOES BOTH WAYS. She is JUST as obligated to be respectful towards you as you are towards her. Don't let people try to convince you to abide by double standards. Your fiancé needs to nip this behaviour in the bud as soon as possible, or else your future Mother-In-Law will continue to try to find a million ways, throughout your lives, to control, emotionally abuse, and manipulate the both of you. Make no mistake, this is who she is. Be wary of anyone who tries too hard to defend your future Mother-In-Law's behaviour. Normally, people will defend behaviour that they would either engage in themselves, or don't see a problem with. Keep that in mind. I really hope that you don't feel ganged up on or brow-beaten by posting your issue on this forum. Please take good care of yourself, sis. ❤️
  11. This entire comment is *Chef's kiss*. Beautiful! I don't even know you, but I am so damn proud of you. I LOVE seeing a woman who refuses to let herself be gas-lit, guilt-tripped, or manipulated by someone who is OBVIOUSLY IN THE WRONG. Stay strong in your convictions and principles. Also, your future mother-in-law sounds SO creepy and manipulative! "I don't see why I should be kicked off of my son's bank account just because he's getting married! Why are you shutting me out like this?!" Are you kidding me?! Yuck. You deserve so much better. ❤️
  12. Why did ENA take down multiple threads of yours, Alex? And please don't pretend that you "don't know why". There's no way that you would have quietly sat back and let ENA take down multiple threads of yours without reaching out to them and questioning WHY they were doing that. Also, you DID go back and hide a bunch of individual posts of yours on one of your threads. Do you think that's respectful to the people who take time and energy out of their day to try and give you helpful advice?
  13. This is so spot-on. Thank you, Cherylyn. ❤️ "You're too sensitive" is code for "How dare you call me out on the way that I'm mistreating you?!" Also, this woman had a TRACKER on her adult son?! Run for your life, sis. It's not going to get better. Horrifying.
  14. EXACTLY. All that needs to be said. Please don't start with this. 50/50 is BASIC EQUALITY. It is NOT "keeping score" to expect things to be 50/50. It is the BARE MINIMUM of what a woman should expect in a relationship. @Shy1-01, I'm sorry that you're in a relationship with a hypocrite who believes in double standards. You don't need to settle for someone like that. There are PLENTY of men who enjoy going down on women, or, at the very least, understand that things need to be 50/50 RECIPROCAL.
  15. Anyone who says that is a scumbag. I've noticed that there's a new, insidious mentality towards women who aren't comfortable with their boyfriends/husbands liking pictures of random women on Social Media - both men AND women will try to guilt-trip them into believing that they're being "high-maintenance" or "controlling". Some men do this because they engage in that behaviour themselves, and they want it to be normalized as acceptable. Some women do this because they want to be seen as "low-maintenance" and "a cool girl who's not like the other girls", which is embarrassing. You have every right to be disgusted by his behaviour, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And this is EXACTLY why you need to leave him. Because you've already TRIED to talk to him REPEATEDLY about how his actions made you feel, and you left every conversation feeling defeated and miserable. Because he doesn't actually care. He doesn't feel ANY remorse for his actions, and he's not going to stop. The only way to get back to your "happy, carefree" self is to take this trash to the curb. You'll feel so much happier, lighter, and more carefree once you do, I promise.
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