estevan_carlos

I'm unnecessarily resentful at the fact that I did not have any plan or money management or guidance during my undergraduate schooling. i took the blind faith approach. if I'm an entrepreneur then I feel I've incurred too much debt at this point to carry on any further. my debt is not actually 100k but rather that is how much I would pay if I followed their payment plan. $1000+ a month is "doable" right now. I don't want it to be $1400 so i'm considering abandoning any further education at this point. Life After Debt: Results of the National Student Loan Survey link removed • Borrowers who report the greatest levels of burden are: (1) those who borrowed large amounts but make lower than average salaries, such as art and music students (50% of whom have overall debt higher than current salary); (2) Professional and some graduate students, particularly those who went to law school, whose debt levels are high enough to make even their relatively high starting salaries appear inadequate; (3) some African-American students who disproportionately report that student loan debt changed their career plans or prevented them from attending graduate school.

more than 100k is a daunting number. I don't understand how a person can live a remotely comfortable life with that much debt.

Is anyone else dealing with this matter? At this point, I feel I've abandoned my life to paying for my four year education. I had little practical or wise insight when I went about the college process. I did not know the difference from public and private schools, my father encouraged me not to work during school (he's not paying for it!). Now I owe more than I should. More than it's worth. And to add to that, I wanted to pursue a master's and was accepted into a program at UCLA but I'm seriously reconsidering. If I incur this new debt, I could likely end up paying more than 100k in loans. I honestly regret doing what I've done. I don't recommend college for the poor unless they are studying to be engineers or doctors.

i think very slowly i am. i never understood. i can't say i do much now. i clearly have deficiency. But how can i discern from someone simply wanting attention from someone who wants me? how much can i read into a glance or a smile? or a strange remark?

Go down the hill... First, I must some how go to the top. It happens sometimes but I'm infamous for ruining it. That though, is another issue. Once I invited a girl to my dorm to sleep over. I ended up sleeping like a dog in the corner of the twin bed. I didn't "feel" I had permission to touch her. What a strange mental block I have. She probably thought I lacked interest. My chest and my head hurt all night.

Absolutely. That is certainly a part of it and a part that I'm frightened to admit. I'm disrespected a sexual male figure sometimes. I'm seen more and more as an individual who is not a part of that social fabric. I'll often be labeled as "harmless" and me kissing a girl (of which resulted in my cheating on my ex-girlfriend) sends shockwaves. I don't condone those actions but it's becoming clear to me that I can't continue running away from these matters. I don't believe I can completely fulfill the role that a bitter mother or a young woman may want me to fill. I wish to allow myself to become a human being. I believe it has been detrimental to me being taught to be so gentle. My mother must not want any grandchildren. This extends beyond sex a bit but I feel more comfortable in my emotional and social manners with women.

i don't have a mental health issue, do i?

A man who does not know how to handle his desires in terms of acting or not acting upon it, is not a healthy thing. It's a terrible over-simplication to simply say a man can not ever do this. It's true for us as a society, what we can and can not do but I've lived my life under the idea that I can not act without permission. I can not act without written consent. I'm at another extreme and to have that bottled up inside... But, this is just my perspective. I honestly want any guidance one can offer. Just understand that I don't believe continuing what I am doing is any good.

No. Sex and desire extends beyond the bedroom. It's a manner and element and component of relationships: maintaining and obtaining relationships. A man who's afraid of touching a woman because he's afraid of himself is not a good thing.

Hello I was the guy who posted a year ago regarding my position as a 22 year old virgin. Then my situation of cheating on my long-distance girlfriend. Now it's about a more substantial issue (although the issue of my ex-girlfriend is substantial): I lack masculinity. Machismo. Or rather, I lack the ability to express it. Typical reasons I presume. My relationship with my stupid semi-feminist, bitter, mother. My lack of clear male role models as a child. My physical unattractiveness. Things like that. My ex-girlfriend felt i was not aggressive enough. Another has said she wouldn't sleep with me because I am not "horny enough". So it would seem they may be right, but deep down, in my place down there, they are not. This isn't just about sex... and that is my problem. I very rarely let it be just about sex. I almost never act upon any of desires for just sex. I cringe in awkwardess. It used to be because I hated myself so much that I believed i was diseased and posessed and would corruot any one i touched. It used to be like that, as a teenger. I couldn't touch someone's hand. I couldnt hug a soul. Not because i sincerely hated it but because i hated myself so much and my position in society (or what I believed it to be. somewhere near the bottom). all these elements seem to drip from me and pardon the imagery. freudian slips abound in my day to day. my music is described as "hyper-sexual" from a professor, my projects always have this layer of sexuality and desire. Elements of which I do not often or always intend. It simply happens. I lack aggressiveness, confidence, and I'm honestly afraid of the amount desire I feel in me at times and so to cope, i keep away from physical interaction as much as possible or rather I used to. It affected my ruined relationship with my long distance girlfriend. It affects many of my relationships. And quite frankly, my emotional frustration reaches unhealthy levels. Please recommend some books, a therapist, 12 steps, a new perspective, . Something. Thank you.

you're right about my misuse of the term. perhaps i meant suppression. i would not necessarily say i am a "strong" person. i simply don't know but i also feel that it's a questionable game to play to test and see how much more you can handle. then again, what i'm talking about -- it's not a "game" we can necessarily avoid. every now and then pangs of social frustration hit me. that's all. socializing has not become a substantial portion of my life and often times i simply supress any social or carnal desires. it's a good thing i do work with music, otherwise i would be worse off...

in my case, consciously and not memories. its often in immediate situations and on a more obvious and clearer level. whatever it might relate to, anger, desire, etc.

Let's set aside any religious connotations and concerns. on a purely social level, is repression wrong all the time? sometimes? often? i feel ill sometimes with the amount of desire and emotion i keep in me.

i concur and in addition, if both of you are seeking out God's advice on who to date, then you're both probably not quite ready to date yet. ... God's too busy trying to find me a girl and it's going to take a while before he gets you two kids.

no, i am willing. its just not a priority.