Kitty Gadol

If it's her appendix, she needs the Dr NOW! It's best to get it checked, just in case. I would call her and say how concerned you are, but if the pain gets any worse, she needs medical attention straight away. Of course you will offer to take her, and just reassure her if need be. Hope she's ok, and you too! Love Kitty x

When you see her, just go up and introduce yourself. It's that simple! If you feel uncomfortable asking her out with people around, ask her if the two of you could chat in a quieter place...or give her your number....or your e-mail. Swallow your pride....and go get her!! You'll kick yourself if someone gets there first!! Best of luck, Kitty x

Redsol... I am pagan, and my partner is a necromancer. We hold very different beliefs, but it does not come in the way of our relationship. This is because we are both our own people. The only thing I find irritating about Christians is how they claim that their way is the 'only way' and try to convert people. What happened to freewill? My family call themselves devout Christians. Having said that, they have disowned me because of my beliefs, and we haven't spoken in years. I do love my family, and I miss them terribly, but I have tried to talk to them to no avail. Doesn't seem a very 'christian' thing to do, but they believe they are doing the right thing, and I respect that is how they are. No matter how much you love somebody, I don't think it is wise to convert to their beliefs. In the long run, I feel it could do more damage to the relationship, and could be thrown up in every argument...I did this for you... Personally, I feel this is an issue between you and her, not her father. I understand how he feels, and he just wants the best for his daughter, but at the end of the day, you two have had 6 years together. If he carries on being insistent that you need to be 'saved', be honest with him. He should respect you for that. As has already been said, religion is supposed to bring people closer, all humanity as one.... I do hope this gets resolved soon and that you can be happy...have you prayed about it?? Maybe that could help. I believe all the answers we ever need are already inside of us, we just have to dig deep to find them. My thoughts are with you

Lights Dimming... This must be so difficult for you. The only thing that comes to my mind at the moment is 'If you love somebody, let them go. If they come back to you, it was meant to be.' I think your girlfriend needs time alone to work through the issues she has with her ex. It is not fair to either of you, until she has resolved this. Maybe you can reassure her that your feelings for her are true, and that you do love her, and if she needs you for anything at all, you will be there. She does need to sort her past out, then let it go, if you two are going to make a go of things. I'm sure she will realise with time that you are the man she wants, and the best things in life are worth waiting for. Try to be patient while she sorts her feelings out for her ex. You have known each other a while, and I'm sure you can take things easy with her until that time. Best of luck, Love Kitty x

Johnny-has... Maybe you should try not rating these girls!! These girls are with you because they like you, maybe they want to get to know you beter, but how can you possibly be giving your all? If you are thinking of 'hot chicks' while you are having sex with them, then you aren't really with them at all. You're in your own fantasy world. Believe me, looks are NOT everything! Surely it's the personality of a person that matters? Love doesn't come about because somebody looks beautiful. Love comes about when you get to know someone, and with time, feel as one with them. If you're not looking for love, then I guess you'll do fine carrying on as you are, but if you want something more meaningful, you have to stop rating these girls! Give somebody a chance....see the inner beauty of that person. It really is that simple! Love Kitty x

It does sound like you're being a bit too pushy, and because she has already told you how she feels, all you are going to do is push her further away. Don't accept that the two of you can never be together. If you really care about her, just give things time. I speak from experience here. I fell in love with my best friend, and I felt the same way you did. I told him how I felt, and I got the same response you did. When we each went to our separate homes, I felt so empty, and cried for hours. It took me a few days to accept that it wasn't going to be, but his friendship was far too valuable to me to lose. I put it to the back of mind, and every time I saw him (and I fancied him like mad!) I would push the thoughts away. I concentrated all my energy in maintaining a good friendship. After 3 months, it wasn't a problem anymore. I even went on to help him out with his girlfriend troubles! A year later, we got together! We are still together now, and we have the best relationship because we took the time to become best friends. Really, the best things are worth waiting for. Don't give up. Just be a true friend to her, and let nature take it's course. What is meant to be, will be. Love Kitty x

It does sound like you're being a bit harsh on this guy...you said he was shy around girls, and you would rather flirt with other guys than him, but you didn't hesitate to jump into bed with him! I know you were drunk, and maybe he was too, but what has happened cannot be reversed. When he invited you over, he said you could bring a friend. If he was planning on getting together with you, surely there would have been just you and him? I think he's trying to be a friend. Maybe he wants to get to know you a bit better? Maybe he feels really embarrassed about what happened, and doesn't know what to do next? You should ask him how he feels. Be a friend to him. When you really care about someone, you don't throw away your friendship because they feel differently to you. Having sex with him does not make him exclusively yours. I understand that is what you want, but you seem to have so much confidence.... If you really feel you can't have him as a friend, then I think it would be your loss.

Or perhaps try anger management? When we have been hurt by someone we love, our world is ripped apart. When the initial upset/pain wears off, we are left with the anger. It seems you are misdirecting your anger. You are losing it over the smallest things, and taking it out on your husband, because you are still angry at him, then the thought of the other woman comes to mind....it's a vicious circle. I think anger management would be good for you, even more so if coupled with marriage guidance for the both of you. You will learn how to separate things of the past and 'the now', and channel your negative energy in a positive way. I'm sure your husband feels so guilty, and hurt, but because he made a mistake, he accepts things as they are now. He loves you, as you love him, and to help build up the trust, you need to know how the other is feeling. This must be so difficult for you both, and my heart truly goes out to you. You CAN get rid of your anger, and you CAN make things work out, but it's going to take time, love and maybe some professional help. I really wish you luck with this. Love Kitty x

Thanks Autumn. I am a non-christian, but I respect that everybody has the right to choose what (or not) they want to believe in. 'God' gave man freewill...the choice to do what we want. Hence why we all make so many mistakes! Luckily, if we accept, and have trust, we learn from our mistakes. I am Pagan, and I trust 'Spirit'. If I feel I have had a 'sign' then I have. I do not question it. I trust in it. I'm sure 'God' will give you the answer when the tme is right, and you keep quiet and still, and listen for it (But will you trust what you hear?) If you have so many doubts and get angry with your creator, how can you hear what 'He' is telling you? Love and light, Kitty x

This might sound strange, but I think your first problem arises because of the second! Life can be really difficult, especially the teenage years, with all those hormones starting to fly around! About telling your mom the periods have started...She knows it's going to happen anytime now, and may be worrying about it herself! If you are going to feel humiliated, then tell her that. Just be honest. (I'm sure she will understand. She is the woman who loves you more than anyone). That will be the first step to gaining control of your thoughts. Once you have been able to express yourself in that way, it will get easier. Your mom will see the 'adult' in you, and the two of you can sit and chat like friends. That's a great relationship to have with your parents, and although it may take a lot of work to build that up, it is worth every second...HONESTLY! Good luck, Love Kitty x

Well, I like a guy who is himself...no pretence, just natural and honest. I could give you a whole list of what girls like to hear, but when that runs out, what will you do? Start to repeat everything? If you think a girl is beautiful, then tell her. If you like the dress she is wearing, comment on it. If you think the mole on her bum is sexy, say it! Just be honest, but tactful! lol Good luck! Love Kitty x

Is she actually flirting with you or are you seeing more into it than is really there? I know it must be very difficult for you right now, but because your friend shows you affection, maybe she is simply trying to cheer you up? It's easy to misread things, especially when you still have pain from a previous relationship, and are in need of some caring. She seems happy in her relationship with her b/f...so it i unlikely she will leave him. If you tell her how you feel, you risk losing a good friendship. I have to agree...to carry on flirting won't cause any trouble, but it would be a good idea to try and find love and affection elsewhere. There are so many single people out there looking for someone like you! Accept her as no more than a good mate. Go out with her, tell her you're looking for love (in whatever way seems appropriate to you) and your friendship will just strengthen. I'm sure this is what your friend would want for you also. Love Kitty x

I have been in a situation much like yours. I did something very similar to what Avman suggested. I went to college, where my daughter was looked after by professional childminders, in the room next door to me. If you really feel you cannot be apart from her, give Gingerbread a call. They are a group that help single parents (male and female). They aim to get you out and about with your child(ren) and meet lots of new friends in the process, and they are always there if you need to chat. You could also ask your Dr or health visitor about Homestart. You are assigned a worker that comes to your home, and they chat with you, or watch your child while you do some housework...in fact, they are they to help YOU, in whatever way you need. All you need to do is tell them what you need, and they will do all they can to provide it for you. Go on...give them a call! You have nothing to lose and so much to gain! Love Kitty x

Mar....Thankyou for your advice. I know that I am being unfair, not just to myself, but also to my partner. I realise that my possessiveness and distrust is due to my low self esteem and lack of love I have for myself. This makes me think that I can't love my partner as much as I think I do. I don't know. I have tried to figure out how to find what makes me feel this way...but it's difficult. I feel so confused. We rarely go out together, but when we do, and he looks at someone else, I just see red...and I truly don't know why. Netman... Thankyou for your advice, and your private reply. When you have been in this situation, I guess you understand exactly where I am coming from. What Mar said may have been harsh, but I know it's right. I'm destroying the thing I want most. Totally irrational, but that's about it. My partner hasn't done anything to warrant my behaviour to this degree, but none-the-less, it's there. I think I need to take a look at the books you mentioned, and start building up my self-esteem, and take things from there. I will keep you updated on how I'm doing, and thankyou for your support. It makes me feel better knowing there are people there to help me.. Love Kitty xx

I have been using tarot cards since I was 16 (am 33 now). I have had hundreds of readings done for myself...for one particular question or a general reading...and I have never had any negative readings. There are a lot of phoney's that just want your money, and I have probably had readings done by some of them! But, if I were you, I would relax, and take it as innocent fun, but don't be surprised by the accuracy of certain things. I learned to read tarot 15 years ago, and I truly believe in the cards, but that is my personal choice. The cards will tell you how things can/could be, NOT how they are/will be. You have freewill, and you can change anything you want to... Have a great time Love Kitty xx