jd21

My ex and I broke up about one year and a half ago. He broke up with me and I was devastated. We were very serious and even talked about marriage. He was a junior in college at the time and all of a suden decided he wanted to experience being single. We had been dating for almost 3 years. I took the break-up very badly. One of my best friends had been friends with him a few years before we started dating - we have some mutual friends. They were strictly friends and nothing ever happened bewteen them. Once my ex and I broke up, my best friend started to hang out with my ex a lot. At first this bothered me since he had hurt me and I felt betrayed. It's not like they were even great, close friends before so I didn't understand why she wanted to hang out with him all of a sudden. Well I found out through my other friends that my best friend may have more serious feelings for my ex. They think she will confront me about it soon. I can't help but feel betrayed. Am I being unreasonable? What should I tell her? Thank you in advance for your help.

It's been about a year and a ha lf since my ex broke up with me. I took it extremely hard. We had been dating for over 2 and a half years, since we were 17. He was my first love and my first relationship. For a few months following the break up, I was absolutely heartbroken. I was also shocked when it happened since even though we did fight a lot towards the end, we had talked about marriage and it was definitely a very serious relationship. However, he said that he wanted to be single in college. About 5 months later, I started dating someone. We are still together and I love him so much. He is wonderful and we get along great. However, I can't help but think about my ex from time to time. I even have dreams about him. It's also hard because he still talks to my friends. Also, the other day I saw his pictures online and it was of him and his new gf. I couldn't help it that they bothered me a little. I don't want to get back together with him after all he's done and I love my boyfriend so much. I just don't understand why I still think about him. It's also afecting my new realtionship, since I am questioing it when deep down inside I know how much better off I am with my new bf. Is this normal? I want to stop him from being on my mind but I don't know how. Does anyone have any advice? Thank you so much.

My ex broke up with me a little more than one year ago after we were together for almost 3 years. I took it very hard and did all I could to get back together but he insisted that he wanted to be single in college. About 5 months after we broke up I met someone and we started dating. I am still with him and I love him very much. We have a great relationship and I finally realized that everything happens for a reason. Well anyway, recently, out of nowhere it seems, my ex has been calling my best friends both at home and at college wanting to hang out. We haven't talked or seen each other since the break up except twice, which was just coincidental. He also supposedly has a girlfriend. Some of my friends agreed to hang out with him after he called them all many times. This did bother me and I felt a little betrayed by my friends. My friends told me that he asked why me and him couldn't hang out together. He also recently imed me and asked if we could be friends, which he said meant just hanging out from time to time. I honestly have no desire to be friends with him. Although I have moved on and am over him, he is my ex and he did hurt me. Also, I don't think that my boyfriend now would like em hanging out with my ex, which I understand and I do not want to mess up what we have. It just seems so bizarre to me that he is contacting all of my friends, especially since they were never close. They hung out with him when they saw me but that was it. It seems that he is determined to hang out with me, which I don't understand especially since last I heard he had a gf. Can anyone make sense of this? Also, is it wrong of me to be upset that my friends hung out with him? Any advice would be so helpful.

I posted a little while ago about my boyfriend and I having sex for the first time and how it hurt so he had to stop. My question is, am I still a virgin? He went in me but never finished, so does that mean we actually had sex? I just wanted to know what you all thought.

My bf and I have been together for 9 months. We are both in college, I am a junior, he's a senior. One of my best friends, who I've known for 10 years, asked me to go to her mother's wedding. I said I would months before my bf and I were evn together. It just so happens that the wedding is a day before my bf's graduation day. The wedding is going to be in the Bahamas so it's no close, location wise, at all. A few months ago I told him about it and it wa s avery tough decision for me but I have known my friend for 10 years so I felt obligated to go. He seemed to understand and promised he would never hold it against me. He told me to look at the big picture and that it's only one day. Well, the wedding is in the Bahamas on Saturday. The graduation is on Sunday. I looked for flights and there is no way I'd make the ceremony. I would get there taht night though. He seemed fine with it until last night when he told me basically not to bother and that the day will be over and that it wouldn't be worth leaving early and taking 3 flights and spending all this money. That really hurt me. He seems to be punishing me for what I did. I can't change the situation and I'm trying to make the best of it. And I thought that by flying in to see him on that day would be special, even though I know the ceremony will be over. I know that he's hurt by my decision but before I made it I confronted him and he was understanding. Why is this all coming out now? I love him so much and we have a great relationship but this is really tearing us apart. I don't know what to do. Can anyone help?

This is kind of embarrassing but last night my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, or at least attempted to. We are both 20 years old and virgins. We love each other very much, I'm on the pill and we used a condom so I knew I was ready. When we did it, it hurt so much and we couldn't do it. We both were getting so frustrated and upset that we stopped. It was definitely not what I expected my first time to be like. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to make the next time better? Is this normal?

My college roommate also happens to be one of my best friends. We both have serious boyfriends. The problem is is that I am very considerate when it comes to giving her and her bf privacy. She does not do the same with my bf and I. I will stay by my boyfriend nights so that her and her bf can be alone but she will not do the same. What should I say to her? and why is she being like this?

I am in college right now and started dating my boyfriend a few months ago. We both go to the same school but we are both busy with school work and jobs. We usually just see each other a couple of hours each night and spend nights together on the weekends. Every time I spend time with him, my 2 roommates make me feel so guilty. They make it seem as though I'm always with him, which in reality I spend a whole lot more time with them. I don't understand why they are acting this way. i don't want to lose their friendship burt I don't understand why they are being immature about this. Could it be that they are jealous? It has also been affecting my boyfriend and my relationship because I feel like if I spend more time with him they will get mad. I know this sounds childish and it is considereing we are in college. I just don't understand them. Should I confront them and tell them that they make me feel so guilty and make me feel like I have to choose between them and my boyfriend?

My boyfriend and I have decided to have sex. We are both virgins. We went to the store yesterday for condoms and there were just so many. Does anyone have any suggestions of what type of condom to use for the first time? I know lubricated is best but what about ones with spermicide? Also, is ribbed better? Any help would be great. Thank you.

Thank you for the advice. It is very helpful. I agree that boyfriends come and go and I know that it is only months now but by then we'll have been together a year and a half. I just feel that it would mean more to him than to her. I also question what decision my friend would make if she were in my position. But I also do not want to lose a friendship over this. Should I be honest with her and ask her if she would understand?

I'm in a very tough situation. One of my best friends, who I have known for almost 10 years, invited me to her mom's wedding. She only got to invite a few friends. The same weekend is my boyfriend's college graduation. Although we have only been together a little over 4 months, we are very serious and we both know that this is going to be a very long term relationship. I know that it would mean so much to him to have me there. I would not want to regret missing his graduation. However, I did tell my friend I would go to the wedding, before I knew the date. Another issue is that the wedding is far away so airfare will be very expensive and i don't know if I'll have the money by then. What should I do? I love my boyfriend very much and he is wonderful. I know if I told him I was going to the wedding he would be disappointed and very upset but would understand. On the other hand, i don't know how my friend would react if I told her I could not make the wedding. I also know that it would mean more to my boyfriend that I was at the graduation than it would mean to my friend that I was at her mother's wedding. If I could go to both I would but that doesn't look like a possibility. Please help, any advice would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

It has been 8 months since my ex broke up with me. We had been together for a little over 2 and a half years. We became very serious and even talked about marriage. We started dating when we were 17 and shocked me when he broke up with me, saying that he basically wanted his freedom in college. Well the first few months I was very depressed and miserable. In January I met this great guy and we started dating in March. He is so wonderful and I am very happy with him. My ex and I go away to college so we have not seen each other since November. Now that we are both home for the summer it has been very difficult. I thought that I was over him and that the hurt had went away but now I realize that I just kept myself busy and everything that was going on simply covered the hurt but didn't take it away. Last night I saw my ex for the first time since November. It was very awkward and afterwards I was very upset. Not upset in that I want him back because I am very happy with my current boyfriend. Just sad that things ended the way they did. What makes it harder is that we have mutual friends at home and they have started to hang out with him and me, but separately. They have asked me if I'd hang out with him too but I just can't. It still hurts too bad and honestly I don't know if I ever could just hang out with him as a friend. We discussed this at the end of our relationship and he agreed that it would be too hard, especially when we started to see other people. Is this normal that I can't bring myself to hang out with him as a friend after 8 months? Also, is it normal that after all this time and the fact that I am in a happy relationship, that the whole situation still hurts me? When my boyfriend and I started to get to know each other I told him i wanted to take it slow but eventually I felt I was ready. How do I know if I was right? Thank you so much for any advice you may have for me.

I was with my ex for almost 3 years. He broke up with me and I was extremely hurt. The way he handled the break up was not fair to me and after 8 months I still feel the hurt. He was also my first love which maybe makes it harder. I am in a new relationship now and am very happy with my boyfriend but it of course I still think about my ex. My best friend lives a block away from him and has known his as long as she has known me - for almost 10 years. They were never very close but saw each other from time to time because they had the same group of friends. Well the other day she tells me that she saw him and he told her that they have to hang out sometime. What confuses me is that when we were together he never liked her and used to complain to me when we would all hang out together. What also got me upset was that she told me that she has known him for just as long as she has known me and can not say no to him. She knows how much he has hurt me and I am supposed to be her best friend yet she does not seem to care much. It also bothers me since i know that she used to like him. This doesn't help the situation. I'm just confused as to what their intentions are and I can't help but feel betrayed. I was wondering what you think I should do and if I am overreacting. Thank you in advance for your help.

My boyfriend and I started dating in February. I am a sophomore and he is a junior in college. We are very in love with one another. The problem is is that we live about 3 hours apart. The summer is almost here and we are home for almost 4 months. We will both be working and going away on vacations with our families so it wil be hard to visit each other. We did set one weekend a month to visit each other and will call each other every day. I really want to make this work. Does anyone have any suggestions and do you think it could work out?

I had been dating this guy for 2 and a half years. He was my first love. He broke up with me about 6 months ago, saying he wanted to be single in college. I took it very badly. In January I started spending more time with this other guy. He is absolutely wonderful and we get along so well. I love spending time with him. He wanted to start dating but I told him I wanted to take things slow, which he respected and understood. After about 2 months I felt that I was ready to start dating him. I liked him too much to just be friends. We've been together for 2 months and things are great and I'm very happy. I don't think about my ex much anymore. However, the other day I found out that he is seeing someone else and it kind of bothered me. I don't understand why. I'm happy with my new boyfriend so why should that bother me? Is this normal? Thank you.