enotalone Home  |  Forum  |  Search    
You're Wearing That?
Understanding Mothers and Daughters in Conversation
by Deborah Tannen
List Price: 24.95


Hardcover: 288 pages
Publisher: Random House (January 24 2006)
Costumer Rating: Costumer rating

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1: Can We Talk?
Mothers and Daughters in Conversation. Mothers and daughters find in each other the source of great comfort but also of great pain. We talk to each other in better and worse ways than we talk to anyone else.



Book Description

Deborah Tannen's #1 New York Times bestseller You Just Don't Understand revolutionized communication between women and men. Now, in her most provocative and engaging book to date, she takes on what is potentially the most fraught and passionate connection of women's lives: the mother-daughter relationship.

It was Tannen who first showed us that men and women speak different languages. Mothers and daughters speak the same language-but still often misunderstand each other, as they struggle to find the right balance between closeness and independence. Both mothers and daughters want to be seen for who they are, but tend to see the other as falling short of who she should be. Each overestimates the other's power and underestimates her own.

Why do daughters complain that their mothers always criticize, while mothers feel hurt that their daughters shut them out? Why do mothers and daughters critique each other on the Big Three-hair, clothes, and weight-while longing for approval and understanding? And why do they scrutinize each other for reflections of themselves? Deborah Tannen answers these and many other questions as she explains why a remark that would be harmless coming from anyone else can cause an explosion when it comes from your mother or your daughter. She examines every aspect of this complex dynamic, from the dark side that can shadow a woman throughout her life, to the new technologies like e-mail and instant messaging that are transforming mother-daughter communication. Most important, she helps mothers and daughters understand each other, the key to improving their relationship.

With groundbreaking insights, pitch-perfect dialogues, and deeply moving memories of her own mother, Tannen untangles the knots daughters and mothers can get tied up in. Readers will appreciate Tannen's humor as they see themselves on every page and come away with real hope for breaking down barriers and opening new lines of communication. Eye-opening and heartfelt, You're Wearing That? illuminates and enriches one of the most important relationships in our lives.

About the Author

Deborah TannenDeborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen is the author of You Just Don't Understand, which was on the New York Times bestseller list for nearly four years, including eight months at number one, and has been translated into twenty-six languages. Among her many books are The Argument Culture, Talking from 9 to 5, and That's Not What I Meant! A linguistics professor at Georgetown University in Washington, D.

  » More by Deborah Tannen