Grown-Up Marriage

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1: Why We Get Married
Most of the women of my generation probably married too young to have grown acquainted with the dread of loneliness. Most of us were taught, however, before we left our teens the dread of unmarriedness.

Chapter 1: Why We Get Married, Part 2
The women of my generation were looking for lifetime, not slice-of-life, companions. We were looking for a strings-and-rings relationship. We wanted to know, for the next fifty years, exactly who our New Year's Eve date would be.

Chapter 1: Why We Get Married, Part 3
Eventually, however, the issue of marriage will arise. Indeed, it will arise if a couple is only seeing each other, not living together. The reason it will arise is that marriage remains, for most women and men, a desirable goal.

Although marriage is for grown-ups, very few of us are grown up when we marry. Here, the bestselling author of Suddenly Sixty and Necessary Losses presents her life-affirming perspective on the joys, heartaches, difficulties, and possibilities of a grown-up marriage — and no, that's not an oxymoron!

Featuring interviews with married women and men, the findings of couples therapists, the truths offered by literature and movies, and a bemused exploration of her own marriage, Judith Viorst illuminates the issues couples struggle with from "I do" through "till death do us part." Examining marital rivalry, marital manners, marital sex (extramarital, too), marital fighting and apologies, what kids do for (and to) marriage, and the boredom and bliss of everyday married life, Viorst leaves no marital stone unturned. From the early years when we wonder "Who is this person?" and "What am I doing here?" to the realities of divorce, remarriage, and growing older (and old) together, Viorst offers insights and advice with honesty, humanity, and humor — all the while recognizing how tough it is to be married and, when it works, how very precious it can be.

In her long and varied career, Judith Viorst has worked as a garment district model, unappreciated secretary, and children's book editor. She has lived in Washington, D.C., since 1960, when she married Milton Viorst, a political writer. (They have achieved the almost-impossible — working in adjoining offices at home and eating three meals a day together for most of their married life.

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