Stepcoupling: Creating and Sustaining a Strong Marriage in Today's Blended Family

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 1: Congratulations! You're Part of a Stepcouple
A stereotypical first marriage follows the rhyme. A wedding comes after romance, and babies arrive later. Lovers ease into family life, adding children over a period of years. Unfortunately, for every two weddings celebrated in a given year, a divorce

Love may be sweeter the second time around, but once the bliss of a newfound relationship wears off a little, the reality of being part of a stepfamily sets in. If you are one of the millions of remarried Americans facing the challenge of blending two existing families into one cohesive whole, you are part of a stepcouple-and you know all too well how hard it can be to make your marriage work in sometimes tough terrain.

Different parenting styles, finances, relationships with ex-spouses, legal matters, and even seemingly simple issues such as the kinds of chores assigned to children can chisel away at your union if you don't always make your marriage a priority.

Stepcoupling offers advice for stepcouples on how to do just that-all the while strengthening their blended family with a healthy marriage. Susan Wisdom and Jennifer Green provide tips and strategies on dealing with the issues remarried couples face, with a wealth of advice from real-life stepcouples, such as:

• Learning to tailor your expectations of your spouse or children and remembering that no family is perfect

• Knowing where your boundaries are, whether involving a hostile ex-spouse or a stepchild who demands too much attention

• Realizing that traits like flexibility, tolerance, forgiveness, and openness are especially essential in a stepfamily situation

• Making "us" time for talking, problem-solving, weekends away, and enjoying your marriage to constantly renew and strengthen your bond as a couple

Let this invaluable remarriage manual help you make your stepcouple the foundation of a strong, happy, and successful stepfamily.

Susan Wisdom, LPC, is a therapist who specializes in counseling divorcing adults and stepfamilies. She lives in Portland, Oregon..

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