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Problem-solving and Coping Skills

In a stress-filled society, basic lessons on how to solve problems are essential. The four steps of problem solving are:

1. Define the problem;
2. Generate alternative solutions;
3. Choose the best solution, make a plan, and execute it;
4. Evaluate the outcome.

Children also must learn how to cope with a crisis. Many sexual abuse prevention programs include segments on who the children should call in a crisis situation, such as a possible case of abuse. Officers from local agencies (e.g., police and fire department) often are helpful in educating children on how to respond to an emergency. By knowing their resources, children take control of their lives and are less likely to feel vulnerable. Building a positive self-image is vital for children to become healthy adults. Additionally, there are numerous publications and videos that educators may find useful in activities and exercises that help children develop positive self-concepts.

Preparation for Parenthood

To help stop the intergenerational cycle of violence or prevent new cycles of child abuse, many schools have curricula on learning how to parent adequately. To do so, children must be armed with knowledge in three areas: reproductive processes, child development, and parenting skills.

Not all schools teach how to prevent sexual abuse or sexual reproduction. When children are presented with age-appropriate material, however, they are better equipped to enter into healthy sexual relationships as adults, a fact that can strengthen healthy marriages and enhance effective parenting.

Class Activity to Help Build Problem-solving Skills

Here is an easy and fun activity to enhance problem-solving abilities and it is appropriate for students in grades 6 through 12.

• Pass out 4" x 6" index cards and describe a literary or historical event with which the students are not likely to be familiar.
• Present information about a decision that had to be made by a character or person involved in the event.
• Ask the students, working alone or in small groups, to make a decision and to identify key points of their reasoning for that decision.
• Take up the index cards and discuss some or all of the solutions that the students developed, including strengths, weaknesses, and possible ramifications of each solution.
• After the discussion, reveal to the students the real situation and the real decision that was made. Discuss how the outcome would have been different if the students had solved the problem.

For example, using Romeo and Juliet, present to the students: There are two teenagers who are desperately in love with each other, but they cannot date because their families have been rivals and disliked each other for generations. What should the teens do?

Basic concepts of child development also should be taught to children. Some cases of maltreatment have been associated with the parents' lack of knowledge about their children's developmental needs. Thus, students who are trained to understand what children do at specific ages may be better able to cope as parents. As parents, they are far less likely to become angry with a 2-year-old who says "NO!" to every command or suggestion when they understand that every 2-year-old does this. Courses on child development can provide information for teens who wish to try their skills with children through babysitting. Some schools actually provide a babysitting certificate for both boys and girls who learn appropriate skills.

Parenting skills are a necessary complement for understanding child development. Numerous lessons and exercises exist that teach what is expected of new parents, as well as the social, financial, physical, and psychological implications of sexual activity and potential parenthood. One frequently used exercise is the "egg baby" in which students pair up and assume responsibility for the complete care of an egg. The egg, representing their baby, must be cared for, protected, nurtured, kept warm and safe, and not left alone. At the completion of the exercise, participants discuss their frustrations and satisfactions with the experience. The exercise is intended to help the students recognize and understand the energy and responsibility required in caring for something or someone totally dependent on them. The youth hopefully learn the gravity and consequences of parenthood so they better understand the serious implications of sexual behavior. Schools develop and establish various programs and activities to achieve the same realizations. For instance, some schools have programs that promote abstinence as the surest way to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Additionally, abstinence ensures the avoidance of other consequences associated with premature sexual activity, such as the increased likelihood of emotional difficulties, substance abuse, or dropping out of school.

It is important that parenting skills training be a component of any high school program for boys and girls. Traditionally, such courses have been aimed primarily at high school girls. Limiting these courses to half of the population means that the other half of future parents receive no training or education for possibly the biggest challenge they will face as adults.

Self-protection

Numerous self-protection programs are available now to help children defend themselves, especially against sexual abuse. The components of such programs usually include: educating children about what sexual abuse is (i.e., distinguishing among "good," "bad," and "confusing" touches); making children aware of potential abusers; and teaching children what to do when they are abused or feel that they are vulnerable to abuse. Some programs bring in experts to educate the children, while others train teachers to conduct the training seminar or to integrate the information into their curriculum. It is essential that teachers train in the course content and become comfortable with their involvement in this type of training. Opinions on such programs vary, however, with some maintaining that they make the child feel responsible for their own protection and cause them to feel guilty if they are molested.

Tags: Child Abuse

About the Author

www.childwelfare.gov
Formerly the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information and the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, Child Welfare Information Gateway provides access to information and resources to help protect children and strengthen families. A service of the Children's Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.