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To Find Adoptive Parents

Personal Ads - Some newspapers carry personal ads from people seeking to adopt. You call the number in the ad and get to know each other over the telephone. If you think you want to work with the couple, have your attorney call their attorney. The attorneys will work out all the arrangements according to what you and the adoptive parents want and the laws of your State.

Your Doctor - He or she may know about couples who are seeking a child, and be able to help arrange the adoption.

Adoptive Parent Support Groups - Parents who have already adopted may know other people seeking to adopt. You can find out more about these groups from Information Gateway.

National Matching Services - These services help birth parents and adoptive parents find one another. Contact Information Gateway for more information.

Of course, personal referrals are always good. Ask friends and family if they know any attorneys or possible adoptive parents.

What If My Baby Is a Child of Color?

There are some special considerations if your baby is a child of color, such as African American, Hispanic, Native American, Asian/Pacific Islander or biracial.

If it is important to you that the parents adopting your child be of the same ethnic or racial background as your child, you will need to locate an agency or attorney with such families approved and waiting for placement. You can choose which kind of agency you work with and which family your child goes to. Ask agencies or attorneys if they work with families of color and if they have families of color in their pool of approved families. Many agencies provide expectant parents with photos and summaries of prospective adoptive families to help them choose the adoptive family for their child.

You should be aware that two Federal laws (P.L. 103-382 and P.L. 104-188) prohibit adoption agencies receiving Federal funding from delaying or denying placement of a child with a prospective adoptive family in order to achieve racial or ethnic matching. These laws affect public adoption agencies as well as any private adoption agencies receiving any Federal funding.

Some agencies may not be as welcoming to you as they could be. If it is important to you that your child be placed with adoptive parents where at least one parent is of the same race as your child and agencies do not have them in their pool of applicants, they may be concerned that they will not be able to find a family for your child right away. Not all agencies recruit families of color and some agencies charge fees that can be prohibitive for many families.

Some agencies specialize in finding families for children of color. They work very hard to let people know that children of color are available for adoption. They also try to make the adoption process less complicated and intrusive for families.

Contact Information Gateway for the names, addresses and telephone numbers of adoption agencies that specialize in working with families of color, or for all the adoption agencies in your State. The information is free.

How Do I Arrange for Future Contact With My Child If I Want It?

If you decide on a confidential adoption, you may still wish to make sure that your child can contact you in the future. There are things you can do now to make that happen.

Many people who are adopted as children later want to meet their birth parents. With the exception of Alabama, Alaska, Delaware, Kansas, Oregon, and Tennessee, State laws do not permit them to see their original birth certificate. Because of these problems, many States, and some private national organizations, have set up adoption registries to help people find one another.

A registry works like this: You leave the information about the birth of the child and your address and telephone number. You must keep your address and telephone number current. You can register at any time, even years after the child is born.

When your child is an adult, he or she can call or write this registry. If what the child knows about his or her birth matches what the registry has, the registry will release your current address and telephone number to the child, and you could be contacted.

There is another way to ensure that your child can contact you if he or she wishes. Some adoption agencies and attorneys who arrange private adoptions will hold a letter in their file in which you say why you chose adoption and how to get in touch with you if the child ever wants to. If the agency or attorney that you are working with will not agree to do this, you may wish to work with somebody else.

There are several national organizations (see box) that offer ongoing advice and support to birth parents, information about contact and reunion with their children, and many other things. People in these organizations have already gone through what you are going through. They will be very helpful and understanding if you need someone to talk to. These organizations or the staff of Information Gateway can refer you to a group near you.

Tags: Adoption

About the Author

www.childwelfare.gov
Formerly the National Clearinghouse on Child Abuse and Neglect Information and the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, Child Welfare Information Gateway provides access to information and resources to help protect children and strengthen families. A service of the Children's Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.