Families on Valentine's Day: Showing Love in the World

by SAMHSA

Valentine's Day can be great fun for your child as she prepares valentines for her friends and then gets that shoebox filled with valentines in return. It also can be a wonderful opportunity to talk with her about friendship, love, and consideration. Valentine's Day can help teach your child about treating everyone equally, caring for one's friends, and strength of character.

Many teachers require students to give a valentine to everyone in the class, but what if your child doesn't want to send a card to all of his peers? Explain that sending valentines to everyone in his class shows kindness because it prevents people from feeling hurt or left out if they don't receive many valentines. Ask your child to think about how he would feel if he didn't get as many valentines as others.

Not every teacher insists on a card for every student, so what can you do if your child isn't one of the popular kids? Explain to her that what matters most is not how many valentines she receives, but that they come from her true friends. Help your child understand that the quality, not the quantity, of her friendships matters most on Valentine's Day and every other day of the year, and that true friends should be treasured.

If a bully decides to torment your child by giving him a nasty valentine, how do you fix his broken heart? After giving him a loving hug, assure him that he has done nothing wrong and explain that bullies want to know that they've hurt someone. Encourage him to ignore the nasty valentine and instead to think about the valentines he received from his real friends. Helping your child feel good about himself is the best medicine for a broken heart.

After Valentine's Day, encourage your child to find opportunities to practice random acts of kindness toward others (and toward you). She might clean her room without being asked or give some of her allowance money to a charity. She might hold the door open for people or stop to help a trusted adult carry a heavy package. Set a positive example for your child to follow, and she will learn to act with kindness and compassion toward others throughout the year.

About the Author

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SAMHSA works to improve the quality and availability of substance abuse prevention, alcohol and drug addiction treatment, and mental health services. Includes links to support groups, information resources, events and articles.