Confidence

The Confident Woman: Start Today Living Boldly and Without Fear
by Joyce Meyer

The Confident Woman, Joyce Meyer draws on her decades of experience interacting with and ministering to women. The message in this book is also the result of her personal journey from insecurity and self-hatred to a confidence through which she is realizing her full potential.

Through Joyce's classic clarity and practicality, you will learn how to overcome all obstacles to live a bold, victorious life. She explains that true confidence is faith in Christ and comes from being open to learning. She reminds us that "women are a precious gift from God to the world. They are creative, sensitive, compassionate, and talented."

Joyce gives women the keys to identifying barriers to confidence, explores the empowerment that comes from preparation, and outlines the steps to independence through dependence on God. She explores the seven characteristics of a woman with confidence, which include a woman who knows she is loved, who refuses to live in fear, and who does not live by comparisons, "if onlys," or "what ifs."

An exciting, meaningful, and intentional life awaits every woman as she learns how to live beyond fear and begin living boldly. God is anxious to light the way and supply every need for walking with confidence.

Chapter 1

What is confidence? I believe confidence is all about being positive concerning what you can do-and not worrying over what you can't do. A confident person is open to learning, because she knows that her confidence allows her to walk through life's doorways, eager to discover what waits on the other side. She knows that every new unknown is a chance to learn more about herself and unleash her abilities.

Confident people do not concentrate on their weaknesses; they develop and maximize their strengths.

For example, on a scale of 1 to 10, I might be a 3 when it comes to playing the piano. Now, if I were to practice long and hard-and if my husband could put up with the racket-I could, maybe, transform myself into a middle-of-the road, level-5 pianist. However, as a public speaker, I might be an 8. So, if I invested my time and effort into this ability, I might just be able to get to a level 10. When you look at it this way, it's easy to see where you need to invest your efforts.

The world is not hungry for mediocrity. We really don't need a bunch of 4s and 5s running around, doing an average job in life. This world needs 10s. I believe everyone can be a 10 at something, but our problem is that we often work so hard on trying to overcome our weakness that we never develop our strengths. Whatever we focus on grows larger in our eyes-too large, in fact. We can turn something into a huge problem when, in reality, it would be a minor nuisance if only we viewed it in perspective with our strengths. For example, let's say you are not a "numbers" kind of person. You struggle to figure out a 15% tip at restaurants, and your checkbook hasn't been balanced since 1987.

You could obsess about your inability to "do the math." You could buy Math for Dummies and other books on the subject, and maybe even take a class at the community college. But your math obsession could eat up time that could be devoted to stuff you're great at-like teaching Sunday school, creative writing, or raising funds for charity. In other words, you might rob time and effort from the 10s in your life just to bring a lowly 3 up to a mediocre 5.

Wouldn't it be much better to delegate the math stuff to someone else? Use an online bill-paying system that has built-in ways to catch errors or overdrafts? And you can always ask your dining companions to help you with figuring a tip. There are even tip guides you can carry with you.

I remember interviewing a man and his wife on our ministry's television program. I asked the man, who happened to be a minister, what his weaknesses were. His answer: "You know, I don't concentrate on them. I am sure I have some, but I couldn't tell you right now what they are because I just don't focus on them." I laughingly replied that I would ask his wife later. I was sure she would know his weaknesses, even if he didn't. When she joined us later in the broadcast, I promptly popped that question to her. She replied, "To me, my husband is perfect; I don't focus on his weaknesses. He has so many strengths that I just focus on them and help him be all he can be."

It didn't take me long to understand why these two were so happy and upbeat all the time-and why they had such a wonderful marriage. Confident people make it a habit to think and act positively. Therefore, they enjoy life, and they accomplish a lot.

A person without confidence is like an airplane sitting on a runway with empty fuel tanks. The plane has the ability to fly, but without some fuel, it's not getting off the ground. Confidence is our fuel. Our confidence, our belief that we can succeed, gets us started and helps us finish every challenge we tackle in life. Without confidence, a woman will live in fear and never feel fulfilled.

Confidence allows us to face life with boldness, openness, and honesty. It enables us to live without worry and to feel safe. It enables us to live authentically.

Confidence allows us to face life with boldness, openness, and honesty. It enables us to live without worry and to feel safe. It enables us to live authentically. We don't have to pretend to be somebody we're not, because we are secure in who we are- even if we're different from those around us. I firmly believe that confidence gives us permission to be different, to be unique. God has created every person in a unique way, yet most people spend their lives trying to be like someone else-and feeling miserable as a result. Trust me on this: God will never help you be some other person. He wants you to be you! You can be sure of this!

People with low confidence, on the other hand, are not sure about anything. They are double-minded, indecisive people who constantly get frustrated with life. If they do make a decision, they are tormented by self-doubt. They second-guess (and third- and fourth-guess) themselves. As a result, they don't live boldly. They live little, narrow lives, and they miss out on the big, rewarding lives God wants them to enjoy.

You may be aware of some of God's promises for His people-promises for peace, happiness, blessings, and so on. But did you know that all of God's promises are for every person?

That's right-when it comes to fulfilling promises, God does not discriminate. However, He does attach certain conditions to some promises, just as a parent might promise to take a child on an outing as a reward for a good report card.

Similarly, God requires us to approach Him in faith-the deeply held confidence that God is trustworthy and will always make good on His promises. God loves you; He wants you to relax in the knowledge of that love. He wants you to experience the peace of mind that comes from resting in His love and living without the torment of fear and doubt. Too many people cower at the mention of God's name, because they are afraid He is sitting up in heaven, just waiting for them to slip up so that He can punish them. I'm not saying that we never have to face consequences for our actions, but God doesn't delight in punishing us. Instead, He wants to bless us and prosper us. He is merciful and if we are able to receive His mercy, He frequently gives us blessing when actually we legally deserve punishment. Thankfully He sees our heart attitude and our faith in Jesus and not just our actions.

When we have confidence in God and His love and kindness, we can progress to living confidently and enjoying the life He wants for us. Note that I said confidence in God, not in ourselves. Usually, when people think of confidence, they think of self-confidence. Think of how many times you hear TV self-help gurus or athletes urging you to "believe in yourself!" I beg to differ. I want to make it clear, right from the start, that our confidence must be in Christ alone, not in ourselves, not in other people, not in the world or its systems. The Bible states that we are sufficient in Christ's sufficiency (Philippians 4:13), so we might also say that we are confident through Christ's confidence. Or another way to say it would be, "we have self-confidence only because He lives in us and it is His confidence that we draw on."

Imagine you're a member of a basketball team, captained by a point guard who is the most talented and most court-savvy player in the world. Not only can this athlete outplay anyone else on the court, she can also bring out the best in her teammates. You can enter each game with confidence, knowing that your team leader has the knowledge and skill to lead you to victory. Sure, you will need to do your part, fulfill your role on the team, but even if you have an off-game, your superstar will have you covered. She's got your back. And, as each game unfolds, you find that your leader's confidence is contagious. You can play boldly, because your captain inspires you.

So, if I say I am confident, which I frequently do, I don't mean that I am confident in myself or my abilities. I mean that I am confident in my leader, God, and the gifts, talents, and knowledge He has placed in me. I know that without Him I am nothing (John 15:5), but with Him, I can be a champion, because He brings out the best in me.

Copyright © Joyce Meyer 2006

About the Author

JOYCE MEYER has been teaching the Word of God since 1976 and in full-time ministry since 1980. She is the bestselling author of more than fifty inspirational books, including How to Hear from God, Knowing God Intimately, and Battlefield of the Mind. She has also released thousands of teaching cassettes and a complete video library. Joyce's Enjoying Everyday Life radio and television programs are broadcast around the world, and she travels extensively conducting conferences.