So you've met the girl of your dreams, the one that makes your heart go apitter-patter, the one you intend to marry and churn out midgets with, the one you've been waiting for your entire life. The only problem is, you're not the man of her dreams. Oh she likes you okay, doesn't mind spending a little time with you now and then, but doesn't want to have a romantic relationship with you. She wants to be "just friends." Arrggghh!

I feel your pain, brother.

One of the most common questions I get is how to go about turning a friendship into a love relationship. How to charm this girl that you know, this girl that you fantasize about, the one who wants to be "just friends." How to make her fall head over heels for you and, perhaps even, start her thinking a few deliciously lustful thoughts about your derriere (the tramp!).

Well, I'll tell you right up front, there is no one technique. No one method or secret that will get her awantin' you bad. It's a combination of hundreds of little things. Everything you do, everything you say, everything you think, and everything you believe make up your personality. And it's your personality which will be the impetus for her liking you, loving you, or even hating you.

What She Wants

Remember, your dream girl's no idiot. She wants the total package. She's not going to fall for some dopey little trick you picked up some place on the internet. However, she may fall for hundreds of dopey little tricks that you've mastered and incorporated into your own unique personality.

Now given that you understand the "total package" concept, there are definitely a few things that you can do - focus on - which can help you out in this area. Things which will greatly increase the probability of her experiencing the desired emotional response toward you (that being increased liking, increased attraction, and maybe even love).

Today we're going to discuss a psychological phenomenon known as Response Facilitation (RF). RF refers to the process of strengthening the dominant response in a particular situation. For our purposes here, we're going to use it to refer to the strengthening of emotional responses. In other words, making that girl who sorta likes you, REALLY like you. And making that girl who sees you as a "friend," see you as, maybe, a little more than that.

However, keep in mind that RF can work in other, unwanted directions as well. That is, you could take a girl who dislikes you, and make her REALLY dislike you. Take a girl who is angry at you, and make her REALLY angry at you. Or a girl who is afraid of you, and make her REALLY afraid of you. In other words, an intensification of her dominant emotional response toward you. So beware.

So how can we intensify emotional responses via RF?

Turning Up The Intensity

Well, before we get into that, let's briefly delve into the nature of emotions themselves.

Emotions basically consist of two parts: a cognitive component (what you're thinking) and a physiological component (what you're feeling). The cognitive, thinking component determines WHAT emotion you're feeling... while the physiological, feeling component determines the INTENSITY of that emotion.

For example, if you're angry with someone, you're thinking all kinds of "angry" thoughts about that person (He's an idiot! This is not fair! I'm going to kill him!). You're also experiencing certain physiological sensations throughout your body that indicate to you that you're a little more than just displeased (increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, mild sweating, adrenaline surging throughout your veins, etc.). And the more intense the physiological aspects become, the angrier you FEEL.

Okay, so how about love? You meet the girl of your dreams, and you begin thinking: "My God, she's beautiful. She's adorable, charming, and witty. I think I'm in love!" Your body also begins a somewhat automatic reaction to her presence... or maybe even just the thought of her (increased heart rate, increased blood pressure, mild sweating, adrenaline surging throughout your veins, etc.). And the more intensely your body reacts, the more "in love" you feel. And what a wonderful feeling it is.

So... notice anything interesting about the two emotions above? Yes, the physiological components are pretty much the same. The difference between being extremely angry, and being in a state of infatuation or love, has more to do with the cognitive, thinking component, than with the physiological, "feeling" component. You're thinking "angry" thoughts in the first example, and "love" thoughts in the second. Your body is reacting pretty much the same in both instances. And the more intensely your body reacts, the more "angry" or "in love" you feel. (Ever heard that saying that there's a fine line between love and hate?)

Tags: Love For Men, Dating For Men

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