A Personal Invitation, Bible Study

Deceived by Shame, Desired by God
by Cynthia Spell Humbert

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A Personal Invitation

In my counseling practice, I have never met a woman yet who would answer "no" to these questions: "Would you like to feel whole again? Do you long to be restored into right relationship with God? Are you longing to release your secrets in the safety of acceptance? Are you ready to trade darkness for light?" To begin a journey out of shame and into God's glory, it helps to consider these pointers from the get-go:

• Start with a commitment to read the entire book. (Getting started is easy, but sticking with it when things get uncomfortable takes commitment.)
• Make a plan for scheduled times during each week when you will have uninterrupted time to read.
• Keep a journal of your feelings as you read, and use the quiet time to search your heart for areas that need change.
• Give yourself gentle permission to put the book down for a while if a certain chapter feels overwhelming.

Through my own recovery journey and the experience of counseling many shame-filled women, I have become convinced that most of the shaming sin we get into is based on our own emotional neediness. We each desperately long to feel valuable, important, cared for, listened to, esteemed, loved, and completely accepted for who we are. We seek both to accomplish something worthwhile with our lives and to win the approval of others.

When these needs are not met, we shift into the false self and go out seeking to fill the hurting places in our hearts with relationships, activities, food, money, power, control, sex, alcohol, drugs, exercise, shopping — you name it, we've tried it. This "emotional neediness" was born out of the original sin and broken relationship with God the Father. Until we clearly understand who God truly is, how passionately He loves us, and how deeply He desires to restore us into right relationship with Him, we will continue to search for fulfillment in unsafe places.

But in this brokeness, we will never find wholeness. Restoration can only come through understanding and accepting the healing unconditional love and grace of God. We can also find remarkable hope and encouragement for our future in knowing that in Genesis 3:8-9, even after Adam and Eve had sinned, God still chose to visit the Garden that evening to search for them. God understood that Adam and Eve were the victims of their choice to disobey, and that they were now in bondage to shame, sin, secrets, darkness, and death.

Adam and Eve had changed. God had not changed at all. So with the cry of a brokenhearted Father, God called out, "Adam, where are you? Where are you?" God did not abandon His children in their time of crisis then and He has not abandoned you now.

With that same gentle understanding, God knows every minute detail of what you have done and why you are ashamed. Yet, He still lovingly pursues you at this very moment, calling out your name and asking, "My precious child, where are you?" Won't you step out of hiding and take His hand?

Bible Study

WEEK ONE

1. What do you think a shameless Garden of Eden was like for Adam and Eve? Try to describe what their relationship with God was like.

2. When sin entered the world through Adam and Eve's disobedience, what happened to their relationship with God? How did it change? Read Job 31:33, Isaiah 47:3, and Romans 3:23.

3. The moment Adam and Eve sinned, a plan of redemption was set in motion. Why was this necessary? Read Romans 5:12-21 and 6:23.

4. Choice is the first thing God gave human beings. Describe how the choices you've made have affected your life. Read Deuteronomy 30:19-20 and Joshua 24:15.

5. What are some examples of external sin in your life? What are some examples of internal or hidden sins in your life? Read 1 Corinthians 6:9-19, Galatians 5:19-21, and Ephesians 2:3.

6. What comes to mind when you hear the word shame? Read Genesis 3:7,10 and Romans 8:15.

7. Shame is described in chapter 1 as either toxic and lifedestroying or nourishing and healthy. Give examples of each and consider how shame affects your life for the worse and for the better. Read John 3:19-21 and 16:8.

8. Think about the differences between the true and false self. How do you see the two in your life? Read Proverbs 23:7 and John 16:8.

9. Both true and false guilt can be a red flag for sin. Where does false guilt come from? Read Acts 2:37, 1 Corinthians 4:3-4, and 1 Timothy 4:1-2.

10. How can a personal relationship with Jesus Christ heal the negative effects of shame? Read John 8:32 and Ephesians 4:22-24.

11. What would your life be like if you experienced emotional wholeness? Read Psalm 23:3 and Job 33:25-26.

12. Who is the only One who can give you your heart's desire? Read Psalm 21:2, 37:3-5, and 145:19.

13. Do you think there is ever a time when God will stop searching for His wayward children? Read Psalm 139:23, Jeremiah 17:10, and Romans 8:27.

© 2001 NavPress. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Cynthia Spell Humbert was a therapist with the Minirth-Meier Clinic for seven years and was a frequent guest speaker on the Clinic's national radio program. Cynthia is vulnerably real, exposing the frailty in her own life to create a bridge for her audience between pain and potential. Above all, she is a woman who loves the Lord and recognizes His sovereignty and grace as being the single answer to our deepest cry. Cynthia will touch you. She is a teacher with a heart that is minute-by-minute responsive to the Holy Spirit, and a shepherd's way of taking you where He leads. Along the way, she testifies passionately to Christ's sacrificial and unconditional love in our lives regardless of who we are or what we've done. This is a woman who has been blessed to be a blessing to others. Her credentials and experience as a Christian therapist, nationally popular speaker, and author have made her a compelling and effective witness, but it is her heart that will reach you. And it is her message, regardless of her topic, that will convict and convince you that it is from a broken heart that God shapes the pieces of a masterpiece.