The Many Reflections of Shame : Part 2

Deceived by Shame, Desired by God
by Cynthia Spell Humbert

(Page 2 of 5)

Willingness to Willfulness

Never allow anyone to fool you with the idea that the "New Age Movement" is somehow "new." The very premise of this false religion is that we are all connected to a universal power, and eventually — with enough "self-awareness" — we can seize power and become our own god. But you don't have to read many chapters in Genesis to see that "seizing power" is the original deception Satan used to score in the Garden.

In those early days of Eden, Adam and Eve had a willingness to obey God and to trust Him with their whole hearts. This produced a tender relationship with the Creator God, one filled with love, security, joy, and peace. Open, honest, and safe communication defined this perfect relationship. They understood and accepted the gift of eternal life, knowing that it meant endless communion with the Father-God who loved to laugh and play with them, who delighted in watching His dear children enjoy His creation.

Then came that horrible day when man made a choice to willfully disobey. As certainly as slitting one's own throat separates a person from the flow of life, so original sin severed our relationship with God and introduced sin and spiritual death. Ever since, we have felt ashamed, out of control, alone, isolated, and afraid of abandonment.

At the very depth of our soul, we have felt a longing for restored relationship, but the lie says we can never be good enough, never work hard enough to earn and regain the love of God. But thanks be to God that by His immeasurable grace (and other riches we do not deserve and could never earn), He leads us on a journey of restoration, back into a place of willingness to rest in His love and allow Him to be in control.

In Homesick for Eden, Gary Moon asserts, "Few would argue against the notion that the most important choice humans are faced with is the choice between willingness and willfulness — between surrender to a reality greater than oneself and self-sufficiency."

Just Call Me Eve

When I experience the moodiness and cramping associated with PMS or the slow final months of pregnancy when every day seems to last a week, I joke with friends about Eve. Since this is all her fault, I plan to be the first one in heaven to line up and slap her cross-eyed for the curse that her disobedience brought on all women.

Other times, in humility, I admit that my name might as well be Eve. If I had been in the Garden of Eden, I would have gotten to the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil much faster than she did. I would have raced there as fast as I could just to look at the forbidden fruit, just to touch it for a moment . . . just to hold it in my hand. Then, I would have probably wanted a tiny bite — just a small taste of what God forbids. But you don't have to be in the Garden to realize that seemingly small sins can create huge chasms between you and God.

Today, God still draws a line in the sand for us and then tells us to avoid crossing the line in order to avoid getting hurt. But, like rebellious children, we pace back and forth parallel to the line — each time walking a little bit closer trying to see how close we can get without crossing it. Finally, in defiance, we put a big toe over the line. We wishfully think that we can cross over just a little and nothing bad will happen. But, as far as God's concerned, one big toe over the line might as well be a full body flop over it. Why? Partial disobedience is total disobedience.

Like Eve, people who cross over God's line by sinning often see the gulf between themselves and God get as wide as the Grand Canyon. Eventually, the person who sinned may feel alone and hopeless — completely aware that there's no way to reconnect or reestablish a relationship with God without confessing, repenting, and accepting forgiveness.

Some consequences, such as being arrested for driving while intoxicated, being picked up for shoplifting, admitting to an out-of-wedlock pregnancy, gaining weight due to compulsive overeating, or going through a divorce due to an adulterous affair, are experienced with a shameful awareness of public and external consequences. But the consequences of sin are not always external or visible to others. For instance, it's relatively easy to hide sins like sexual promiscuity, an abortion, bulimia or anorexia, hatred, and bitterness.

But both types of sin cause separation from God and can produce the same amount of shame. This shame causes loneliness, fear, and a profound emptiness. Often, a shame-filled person knows that she somehow needs to find a way back home, but many choose the wrong paths for the lead away from God and deeper into self-abusive behaviors, which only make feelings of shame more pronounced.

© 2001 NavPress. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Cynthia Spell Humbert was a therapist with the Minirth-Meier Clinic for seven years and was a frequent guest speaker on the Clinic's national radio program. Cynthia is vulnerably real, exposing the frailty in her own life to create a bridge for her audience between pain and potential. Above all, she is a woman who loves the Lord and recognizes His sovereignty and grace as being the single answer to our deepest cry. Cynthia will touch you. She is a teacher with a heart that is minute-by-minute responsive to the Holy Spirit, and a shepherd's way of taking you where He leads. Along the way, she testifies passionately to Christ's sacrificial and unconditional love in our lives regardless of who we are or what we've done. This is a woman who has been blessed to be a blessing to others. Her credentials and experience as a Christian therapist, nationally popular speaker, and author have made her a compelling and effective witness, but it is her heart that will reach you. And it is her message, regardless of her topic, that will convict and convince you that it is from a broken heart that God shapes the pieces of a masterpiece.