Cancer is a major illness, but not everyone who gets cancer will die from it. Close to 9 million Americans alive today have a history of cancer. For them, cancer has become a chronic (on-going) health problem, like high blood pressure or diabetes.

Just like anyone with a chronic health problem, people who have cancer must get regular checkups for the rest of their lives, even after cancer treatment ends. But unlike other chronic health problems, if you have cancer you probably will not need to take medicine or eat special foods once you have finished treatment.

If you have cancer, you may notice every ache, pain, or sign of illness. Even little aches may make you worry. While it is normal to think about dying and healthy to explore your feelings about death, it is also important to focus on living. Keep in mind that cancer is not a death sentence. Many people with cancer are treated successfully. Others will live a long time before dying from cancer. So, make the most of each day while living with cancer and its treatment.

People Respond to Cancer in Many Ways

This book was written to help you learn from other people with cancer. Finding out how others respond to cancer might help you understand your own feelings. Learning how others manage the special problems that cancer brings might help you find your own ways of coping with the problems that come along for you.

Sharing Ideas about Ways to Live with Cancer

Many people helped to write this book--people who have had cancer and their family members, friends, and caregivers. We thank each of them for sharing their ideas and suggestions about ways to live with cancer. You will find their comments in italic type throughout this book.

We also thank the many health care providers who reviewed Taking Time. Their comments and practical suggestions are based on years of experience helping people with cancer.

Your Feelings: Learning You Have Cancer

You will have many feelings after you learn that you have cancer. These feelings can change from day to day, hour to hour, or even minute to minute.

Some of the feelings you may go through include:

• denial
• anger
• fear
• stress
• anxiety
• depression
• sadness
• guilt
• loneliness

All these feelings are normal.

Feeling hopeful is also normal. No one is cheerful all the time, but while you are dealing with cancer, hope can be an important part of your life.

"I heard the doctor say, 'I'm sorry; the test results show that you have cancer.' I heard nothing else. My mind went blank, and then I kept thinking, 'No, there must be some mistake.'"

Learning that you have cancer can come as a shock. How did you react? You may have felt numb, frightened, or angry. You may not have believed what the doctor was saying. You may have felt all alone, even if your friends and family were in the same room with you. These feelings are all normal.

For many people, the first few weeks after diagnosis are very difficult. After you hear the word "cancer," you may have trouble breathing or listening to what is being said. When you are at home, you may have trouble thinking, eating, or sleeping.

People with cancer and those close to them experience a wide range of feelings and emotions. These feelings can change often and without warning.

At times, you may:

• be angry, afraid, or worried
• not really believe that you have cancer
• feel out of control and not able to care for yourself
• be sad, guilty, or lonely
• have a strong sense of hope for the future

This section looks at many of the feelings that come up when people find out they have cancer.

Denial

When you were first diagnosed, you may have had trouble believing or accepting the fact that you have cancer. This is called denial. Denial can be helpful because it can give you time to adjust to your diagnosis. Denial can also give you time to feel hopeful and better about the future.

Sometimes, denial is a serious problem. If it lasts too long, it can keep you from getting the treatment you need. It can also be a problem when other people deny that you have cancer, even after you have accepted it.

The good news is that most people (those with cancer as well as those they love and care about) work through denial. By the time treatment begins, most people accept the fact that they have cancer.

Anger

Once you accept that you have cancer, you may feel angry and scared. It is normal to ask "Why me?" and be angry at:

• the cancer
• your health care providers
• your healthy friends and loved ones

And if you are religious, you might even be angry with God.

Anger sometimes comes from feelings that are hard to show--such as fear, panic, frustration, anxiety, or helplessness. If you feel angry, don't pretend that everything is okay. Talk with your family and friends about your anger. Most of the time, talking will help you feel a lot better.

Talking to one another is loving one another.

— Kenyan Proverb

Fear and Worry

"The word 'cancer' frightens everyone I know. It's a diagnosis that most people fear more than any other."

It's scary to hear that you have cancer. You may be afraid or worried about:

• being in pain, either from the cancer or the treatment
• feeling sick or looking different as a result of your treatment
• taking care of your family
• paying your bills
• keeping your job
• dying

Your family and close friends may also worry about:

• seeing you upset or in pain
• not giving you enough support, love, and understanding
• living without you

Some fears about cancer are based on stories, rumors, and old information. Most people feel better when they know what to expect. They feel less afraid when they learn about cancer and its treatment. As one man with prostate cancer said,

"I read as much as I can find about my cancer. Imagining the worst is more frightening than knowing what might happen. Knowing the facts makes me much less afraid."

Tags: Cancer

About the Author

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