Cancer : Work, Friends and Coworkers

by National Cancer Institute

(Page 14 of 16)

Work

Research shows that cancer survivors who continue to work are as productive on the job as other workers. Most cancer survivors who are physically able to work do go back to their jobs. Returning to work can help cancer survivors feel they are getting back to the life they had before being diagnosed with cancer.

Some cancer survivors may find themselves changing jobs after cancer treatment. If you decide to look for a new job after cancer treatment, remember that you do not need to try to do more—or settle for less—than you are able to handle. If you have a résumé, list your jobs by the skills you have or what you've done rather than by jobs and dates worked. This way, you don't highlight the time you didn't work due to your cancer treatment.

Whether returning to their old jobs or beginning new ones, some survivors are treated unfairly when they return to the workplace. Employers and employees may have doubts about cancer survivors' ability to work.

Tips: Handling Problems at Work

Decide how to handle the problem.

• What you want to do?
• Do you still want to work there?
• Are you willing to take action to correct a problem?
• Would you rather look for a new job?

If necessary, ask your employer to adjust to your needs.

• Start by talking informally to your supervisor, personnel office, employee assistance counselor, shop steward, or union representative.
• Ask for a change that would make it easier for you to keep your job (for example, flex-time, working at home, special equipment at work).
• Document each request and its outcome for your records.

Get help working with your employer if you need it.

• Ask your doctor or nurse to find times for follow-up visits that don't conflict with your other responsibilities.
• Get your doctor to write a letter to your employer or personnel officer explaining how, if at all, your cancer may affect your work or your schedule.
• Contact your local cancer support organization, groups for disabled workers, or the local bar association for names of qualified lawyers who specialize in antidiscrimination law.

Friends and Coworkers

The response of friends, coworkers, and/or people at school after your cancer treatment can be a major source of anger, grief, or dismay. Some people mean well, but they do not know the right thing to say. Maybe they just do not know how to offer support. Others do not want to deal with your cancer at all, even though it is still a daily challenge for you. "When you say the 'C' word, it just turns [some people] right off, and [they] will mumble something and ... walk off," one survivor said.

Friends' and coworkers' seeming lack of support may be because they are anxious for you or for themselves. Your cancer experience may threaten them because it reminds them that cancer can happen to anyone. Try to understand their fears and be patient as you try to regain a good relationship.

Many survivors say that acting cheerful around others for their comfort is a strain. "I do not want to smile any more," one melanoma survivor said. "You do not have the energy to put up with that." A prostate cancer survivor noted that: "You know if you complain sometimes, for some people, it turns them off. So I try not to do that."

As survivors sort out what matters most, they may even decide to let some weak friendships go to give more time to the strong ones. One brain cancer survivor found that after cancer, "You really know how many true friends you've got. And they do not stop calling just because they hear you're in remission. They really love you and think something of you." A kidney cancer survivor found that, "Letting weak friendships go was hard, but I also got support I did not expect from people at work and in church."

On the job or where you volunteer, people may not understand about cancer and your ability to perform while recovering from treatment. They may expect you to "slack off" or think that your having had cancer means you are going to die soon. Sometimes, fears and lack of knowledge result in unfair treatment.

Getting Help With Issues Involving Friends and Coworkers

If you find that a friend or coworker's feelings about cancer are hurting you, try to resolve the problem with that person face-to-face. If such efforts don't help in the job setting, you may want to get help. Your manager, shop steward, company medical department, employee assistance counselor, or personnel office may be able to change coworkers' ideas, procedures, or the way your job fits in with others' to lessen problems.

When hurtful remarks or actions get you down, talking to a friend, family member, or counselor may help you deal with it. But if coworker attitudes get in the way of your doing your job, it is a problem management needs to address.

Relating to Others

Tips: Relating to Others

How do you relate to other people in your life after cancer treatment? Here are some ideas that have helped others:

Accept help. When friends or family offer to help, say yes, and have in mind some things that would make your life easier. In this way, you will get the support you need, and your loved ones will feel helpful. "When I first started treatment, I had a lot of help," said one colon cancer survivor. "So I felt bad asking my friends for more help when my treatment ended. But I still really needed it, so I let them know."

Address any problems that come up when you go back to work or school. Your supervisor (or his or her supervisor), teacher, or coworkers may be able to help those around you understand how you want to be treated as a cancer survivor. If problems with others get in the way of your work or studies, you may want to talk with your bosses, your union, the company's Human Resources department, or the school's Student Affairs office.

Keep up contacts during your recovery. Friends and coworkers will worry about you. If they find out about your treatment and progress, they will be less anxious and scared. Talk to them on the phone or send e-mail. When you are able, have lunch with friends or stop in for an office party. Your return to work or other activities will be easier for you and others if you stay in touch.

Plan what you'll say about your cancer. There is no "right" way to deal with others about your illness, but you do need to think about what you'll say when you're back on the job. Some cancer survivors don't want to focus on their cancer or be linked in people's minds with the disease. Others are very open about it, speaking frankly with the boss or other workers to air concerns, correct wrong ideas, and decide how to work together. The best approach is the one that feels right to you.

About the Author

www.nci.nih.gov
The National Cancer Institute's research programs are extensive and contain many innovative initiatives. I invite you to explore our Web site to find out more about the exciting work being conducted here at NCI and by NCI-supported scientists throughout the country.