Cancer : Body Changes, Feeling Alone, Support Groups

by National Cancer Institute

(Page 11 of 16)

Dealing with Body Changes

Some body changes are short-term, and others will last forever. Either way, how you look may be a big concern after cancer treatment. People with ostomies after colon or rectal surgery are sometimes afraid to go out. They may feel shame or fear that others will reject them. They may be afraid they will have an "accident" and feel embarrassed. Others do not like people being able to see treatment effects like scars on the head or neck, skin color changes, loss of breasts or limbs, weight gain or loss, and hair loss. Even if your treatment does not "show," your body changes may trouble you. Feelings of anger and grief are natural. You have lost your "old body" and, with it, your sense of self.

Feeling bad about your body can also lower your sex drive, and the loss of or reduction in your sex life can make you feel even worse about yourself. "Mentally, it was strange," one prostate cancer survivor said. "You're worried about your 'man thing.' It may be on the back of your mind ... but it is always there." Women also have this concern. "I felt like I was half of a woman," one ovarian cancer survivor noted.

Changes in the way you look can also be hard for your loved ones—and this can be hard on you. Parents and grandparents often worry about how they look to a child or grandchild. They fear the changes in their body will scare the child or get in the way of their staying close.

Tips: Coping With Body Changes

How do you cope with body changes? Here are some ideas that have helped others:

If you find that your skin has changed color from radiation, ask your doctor or nurse about ways you can care for your skin and if the color will change over time.

Find new ways to enhance your appearance. A new haircut, hair color, makeup, or clothing may give you a lift.

If you choose to wear a breast form (prosthesis), make sure it fits you well. Your health insurance plan may pay for it.

Tell yourself that you are more than your cancer. Know that you have worth no matter how you look or what happens to

Mourn your losses. They are real, and you have a right to

Focus on the ways that coping with cancer has made you you in life. grieve. stronger, wiser, and more realistic.

Feeling Angry

Many people find themselves feeling angry about having cancer or about things that have happened to them during their diagnosis or treatment. They may have had a bad experience with a health care provider or with an unsupportive friend or relative.

Tip: Feeling Less Angry

Hanging on to anger can get in the way of your taking care of yourself, but sometimes anger can energize you to take action to get the care you need. If you find yourself feeling angry, find a way to use that energy to help yourself.

Feeling Alone

After treatment, you may miss the support you got from your health care team. You may feel as if your safety net has been pulled away and that you get less attention and support from health care providers now that treatment is over. You also may feel that only others who have had cancer can understand your feelings. Feelings like these are normal any time you leave people who mean a lot to you.

It is also normal to feel somewhat cut off from other people—even family and friends—after cancer treatment. Often, friends and family want to help, but they don't know how. Others may be scared of the disease.

Tips: Feeling Less Alone

What can you do to make yourself feel better during this lonely time? Here are some methods other people have found helpful:

Figure out how you can replace the emotional support you used to receive from your health care team. Think about: Asking one of your nurses or doctors if you could call sometimes. Your call could help you stay connected and help you feel less alone. Even just knowing you can call them may help. Finding support services offered over the phone or Internet. Finding new sources of support for your recovery. Friends, family, other cancer survivors, and clergy are a few ideas.

Think about joining a cancer support group. In a cancer support group, people who have had cancer meet to talk about their feelings and concerns. Besides airing their own issues, they hear what others have gone through and how other people have dealt with the same problems they are facing. A support group also may help members of your family cope with their concerns.

"Is a Support Group Right for You? 19" may help you figure out whether you would like to join one.

Joining a Support Group

Support groups can have many benefits. You may feel better about yourself, find a new life focus, have better pain control, make new friends, improve your mood, cope better with your cancer, learn more about cancer, and better deal with the needs of others in your life.

Support groups can:

• Give you a chance to talk about your feelings and work through them
• Help you deal with practical problems, such as getting to or from doctor visits, or problems at work or school
• Help you cope with side effects of treatment

The number one reason people join a support group is to be with other people who have "been there"—not because they do not receive support from friends and family. Some research shows that joining a specific type of support group improves quality of life and enhances survival.

Types of Support Groups and Where to Find Them

There are many different types of support groups. Some may be for one type of cancer only; others may be open to those with any cancer. Some may be only for women or men, and others may be focused on people in certain ethnic or racial groups. Support groups may be led by health professionals or fellow cancer survivors.

Support groups are not just for people who have had cancer. Support groups can be helpful for children or family members of survivors. These groups focus on family concerns such as role changes, relationship changes, financial worries, and how to support the person who had cancer. Some groups include both cancer survivors and family members.

Not only do support groups meet in person, they also meet "on line." These Internet support groups can be a big help to people with computers who live in rural areas or who have trouble getting to meetings. With Internet groups, you can seek support at any time of the day or night. While these groups can provide valuable emotional support, they may not always offer correct medical information. Be careful about any cancer information you get from the Internet. Check with your doctor before making any changes based on what you read.

About the Author

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