Part 4

The Art of Happiness at Work
by The Dalai Lama, Howard C. Cutler, M.D.

(Page 4 of 4)

The Dalai Lama paused and sipped some tea. "So," he continued, "I think through our own efforts, through cultivating a wider perspective, I think it is possible to become more content with our work."

"Of course, there's still so much widespread dissatisfaction with one's work," I mused. "I'm wondering if you have anything else to add here, any other ways we can look at things to . . ."

"Oh, definitely," he quickly replied. "Another way to build contentment, for example, is simply to reflect on how fortunate one is to have the work, how there are many people unable to get any kind of work. You can think, There are other good things in my life, and I still have it better compared to many. This is always the reality.

"Sometimes we forget that. We get spoiled. So, for example, in America there are many opportunities for employment. And there is also a large degree of freedom, and one's personal initiative can make a difference. With personal initiative one can advance. But at the same time there is still a lot of discontent and dissatisfaction with one's job. In other parts of the world, for example in countries like India and China, there are fewer opportunities open for employment. So, under such circumstances many individuals can't get jobs. But I've noticed that there the sense of satisfaction they derive from their job is much stronger and also they are more committed. In the same way, one can reflect on how much more difficult previous generations had it, going through world wars and so on. Sometimes we tend to forget these things, but if we think about it, this can increase our feeling of gratitude and contentment."

"Of course, you're right," I agreed. "I've also been to many countries, and I've seen coolies or baggage handlers here in India, or migrant farm workers, poor people working in rice paddies throughout Asia, or remote nomads in your own country, and many of these people seem genuinely happy and content. Of that there's no doubt. And I have to admit that we can become spoiled. But my country, America, was built on personal initiative. Shouldn't we want to advance, rather than just be content with the way things are?"

"Yes, Howard, but you shouldn't confuse contentment with complacency. You shouldn't mistake being content with one's job with just sort of not caring, not wanting to grow, not wanting to learn, just staying where one is even if one's situation is bad and not even making the effort to advance and to learn and to achieve something better. If we have a poor job, perhaps some unskilled labor, but we have the skills and qualifications for better work, by all means we should exert our best effort for the better work, make a good attempt. But if that fails, then instead of frustration, or becoming angry focusing only on the thought, I tried but I wasn't able to make it-then think, O.K., I'll carry on with this work. Be content with the work you have. So if you fail, that is where one's attitude and the practice of contentment can make the difference between anger, resentment, and frustration, and a calmer and happier attitude. That's where training of the mind comes in. These kinds of things, lines of reasoning, can diffuse your frustration and disturbance of mind. So contentment, I think, contentment-that's the key thing."

While he spoke, I thought about how difficult it might be for many people to adopt these lines of reasoning to diffuse their anger, hatred, and jealousy. I realized that is why he has so often stressed the fact that it isn't easy to train one's mind and reshape one's attitudes, that it takes repeated effort. And it takes time. For this kind of "analytical meditation" to work, one needs deep and sustained reflection on these alternative ways of viewing one's situation. One needs to be fully convinced of the absolute truth of this new perspective. Otherwise there is a danger of using these lines of reasoning merely as insincere rationalizations. A matter of "sour grapes." Oh yeah? Well, I didn't want that job anyway!. So, we're going for that promotion and we lose out. And we really wanted that promotion-every fiber of our being tells us that, even aside from the higher pay, the more important our job is, the happier we'll be.

So how do we convince ourselves beyond a reasonable doubt that the more important job may not necessarily make us happier? By looking at the evidence. By examining whether we're permanently happier from the last promotion we received or looking at people we know to see if those in a higher position are genuinely happier than those in a lower position. Or, we can look at the scientific evidence. In this case, for instance, while at SUNY Buffalo, Robert Rice, PhD, a prolific scholar in the field of job satisfaction, led a group that conducted a surprising study. Contrary to what one might expect, they found that those with more important jobs are no happier in life than those with less important jobs. This finding has been replicated in a number of similar wide-scale studies showing that while job satisfaction is linked with life satisfaction, the specific type of work one does, one's occupational prestige, or whether a person is blue collar or white collar, has little impact on one's overall life satisfaction.

There's an additional reason why it is sometimes a long and difficult process to reshape our attitudes and outlook, to change the habitual ways that we perceive the world, modify our customary interpretation and response to any given situation or event. What's the reason? When it comes down to it, many of us resist giving up our misery-a vexing and baffling feature of human behavior I often observed in the past when treating psychotherapy patients. As miserable as some people might be, for many there is a kind of perverse pleasure in the self-righteous indignation one feels when one is treated unfairly. We hold on to our pain, wear it like a badge, it becomes part of us and we are reluctant to give it up. After all, at least our characteristic ways of looking at the world are familiar. Letting go of our customary responses, as destructive as they may be, may seem frightening, and often that fear abides on a deeply ingrained subconscious level. And added to this, of course, are the secondary gains to holding on to our grudges, jealousy, and dissatisfaction, as our constant complaints serve to elicit sympathy and understanding from others. Or at least we think so, at least we hope so. Sometimes it works-our friends or co-workers join in with a catalogue of their own grievances, and a bonding takes place as we indulge in our own little festival celebrating life's inequities and the sins of our employers. Quite often, however, while our complaints may be received with outward expressions of sympathy, they may more likely be met with inward annoyance by those who have problems of their own to deal with.

Thinking about the difficulty of genuinely transforming our outlook and responding to these challenging situations in new ways, I remarked, "I think these are all good practical suggestions, although of course, even if these things are true, these lines of reasoning may not act as a consolation to everybody."

"That's true," the Dalai Lama admitted, "but my main point is that if there is a possibility to change your work environment, then of course you have the right to make that attempt. But you also need to understand the fundamental cause of various problems.

"So, once again, this brings us to the reality that everything is interconnected. If there are certain problems in the workplace, or layoffs and one is having difficulty finding a job, there are always many factors at play. So, you experience dissatisfaction. You suffer. Maybe some worldwide economic conditions or even some environmental problems may be at the root of the problem. In those cases, it does no good to take things so personally and complain to the company, or perhaps direct your anger toward one individual boss. And your anger could even turn into hatred, but even if your hatred escalates uncontrolled, and even if eventually you killed that person, it would have no effect on the situation, it would do nothing to change the wider problems.

"This kind of thing occurs, for example, in the Tibetan community here in India. There may be some people who are upset with the Tibetan government in exile, always complaining. So, focusing on some day-to-day activities of the government, they are dissatisfied, but they tend to forget that the government in exile is exactly that-an exiled government. And from that angle, the fundamental cause of the problem is the Chinese invasion and occupation of Tibet, which forced us into exile. That is the source of the problem. Once they focus on the real issue, it creates a sense of unity among us, which creates a sense of greater satisfaction instead of the divisions and conflicts caused when we lose sight of the wider issues and start bickering among ourselves.

"So, instead of just complaining and complaining, or directing your anger to a particular boss, in that type of situation, with your realization of the wider, more fundamental causes of the problem, it would be better if you redirected your thoughts. Think about the world, the global economy. Think about the environment. Look at the various forms of social injustice. Perhaps you could even make a small contribution to improve things in some way."

"Of course," I interjected, "there's often very little we can do to change these wider problems."

"That's true," the Dalai Lama conceded. "Your efforts may have little or no results, things may not change much. But at least instead of misplaced anger and frustration, you are transforming your mental energy, turning it in a more constructive direction. Your underlying motivation can change based on this wider perspective and it will build your enthusiasm to work, to make changes that will benefit society. Of course that takes time, but meantime if you can't change the work environment or the wider forces that contribute to the work environment, then you may need to change or adjust your outlook. Otherwise, you will remain unhappy at work and in your life."

Our meeting for the day was coming to a close, and thinking that he had finished, I began gathering up my notes, when he suddenly added a final comment about the harsh reality of life. Yet despite his unsentimental acknowledgment of life's difficulties, there was a certain fearlessness mingled with a gentle undertone of compassion in his voice.

"Now look. There will always be problems in life. It is just not possible to go through life without encountering problems. There is no event from which you get one hundred percent satisfaction, right? Some dissatisfaction will always remain. The better we are able to accept that fact, the better we will be able to cope with life's disappointments.

"So, take the example of a person who likes to eat sweet things, but doesn't like sour things. Then there is a certain kind of fruit that this person enjoys. That fruit may be mostly sweet, but it may also have a little bit of sourness in it. That person continues to enjoy the fruit, they don't stop eating it because it has a little sour taste. If they want to continue to enjoy eating that fruit, they have to accept the little bit of sourness in it. You can't separate the sweet from the sour in that piece of fruit; it is always going to be mixed. Life is just like that. As long as you are living, life will have good things but also some problems that you don't like. That's life."

So, life is tough. It seemed a grim truth upon which to be ending our meeting. And as if perfectly staged to underscore that dark note, at that moment there was a sudden crash of thunder and a deafening torrential downpour outside that muffled our words as we said goodbye. An instant later the electricity went off, an almost daily occurrence during this season in Dharamsala. The Dalai Lama was completely unruffled. In fact, his warm smile and cheerful manner were set off in bold relief against the darkened room and the ice storm raging outside. Clearly here was a happy man. Everything about him bespoke the possibility of leading a happy life despite life's inevitable troubles. He himself had weathered his fair share of problems, the loss of an entire nation as he was forced into exile as a result of the Communist Chinese invasion and occupation of Tibet. And he continued to tackle difficult problems on a daily basis-struggling to preserve his cultural heritage, fighting for the freedom of his people, for the human rights of all people. And often without success. Yet since the age of six, he had been engaged in the training of his mind, learning how to remain happy despite life's unavoidable adversities. It seems to have paid off.

So, he reminds us that if we can change some of the external conditions at the workplace that contribute to our dissatisfaction, we certainly should. If not, although it is always easy or quick, it is still possible to be happy at work through reshaping our attitudes and outlook, through inner training.

Copyright © 2003 the Dalai Lama & Howard C. Cutler, published by Riverhead Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., all rights reserved, reprinted with permission from the publisher.

About the Author

Recognized at the age of two as the reincarnation of the Thirteenth Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso was brought to Lhasa, the capital of Tibet, and enthroned two years later as the fourteenth Dalai Lama. Awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1989, His Holiness is today universally acknowledged as one of the world's preeminent spiritual leaders.

Howard Cutler, M.D., is a diplomate of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology. He first met the Dalai Lama in 1982, while visiting India on a research grant to study Tibetan medicine. Dr. Cutler maintains a private psychiatric practice in Phoenix.