First, Put Yourself in the Game

It's All Lies and That's the Truth
by Bernie Brillstein

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Now that we're getting to the end of this preamble, I want to make sure I've been absolutely clear about one thing: The Little Stuff Matters Most is not a book of secrets. There's no Zen, no art of, no formula, no mystical philosophy; there are no three rules, seven habits, or ten steps. There are no tedious worksheets or personal diaries to keep. No daily affirmations. No seminars to attend - yet. You won't feel worse about yourself if you don't follow the program exactly because there is no program.

I don't pull punches though, so a thick skin helps.

There's also no test at the end of this book. The real test is living day to day. Being happy. The idea is to be able to get through it all and still come out ahead. The only way to do that is by helping yourself. I can point you in the right direction, but in the end you have to rely on your own instincts and wherever they lead you - or you're screwed.

And best of all, you can still eat all you want.

First, Put Yourself in the Game

IF YOU'RE NOT ON the playing field, you'll never discover if the game is for you, if you have an instinct for it, or if you're any good at it. Too many people imagine what they might become but are so afraid of failing - or worse, being caught in something they can't get out of - that they stay on the sidelines. Everyone who goes for an interview is scared. Get over it. Go in with the idea of testing yourself.

But first you have to get in the game.

Come to the job interview with the basics covered: clean, well-dressed, good manners. You need to know something about the business you want to be in. You probably also need a college degree; in Hollywood these days it takes a sheepskin just to get into a mailroom.

Next you have to communicate how much you want the position. You have to establish an immediate emotional and mental connection in what is admittedly a stressful situation. An actor, for instance, has to brave a cold room, read a script that usually stinks, with a partner who also stinks, for a casting agent and execs who have already heard the material fifty times that day. But if she wants the job, she has to rise above the negativity, get into their guts, work from instinct, create the connection, heat up the room.You do this not only by talking, but by listening. What does the guy who's hiring want to hear? Follow that lead; he or she will help you along, especially if there's a rapport. You'll both know it immediately. Instinctively.

Our new dog used the same technique to get us to take him home. We went to the adoption center and she watched as we checked out the possibilities. When we finally came to her cage she literally did whatever was in her power to make us know she wanted to be ours. She jumped into my lap; she licked me; she jumped up and down and rolled over four times. She couldn't actually say, "Boy, I'd love to live with you!" but believe me, that's what I heard.

On the ride home I thought of how, when I was twenty-four, I'd set my sights on a job in the William Morris Agency mailroom. "You're too old," the interviewer said.

"I'm not too old," I countered. "Plus, I'm willing to do anything I have to do to get the job. I really want to be here."

In other words, I had to make the guy understand that I wanted the job no matter what, without actually jumping into his lap, licking him, or rolling over.

By the time I got home that afternoon there was a message telling me to come to work the next Monday.

Then the real games began.

Know the Difference Between Hot and Good

ONE HIT IS HOT. A career is good.

Hot can be the beginning of good, but in the end it's what you do with what you have. Longevity means staying in the game. How? Playing by the right rules. Manners. A little smarts. A lot of knowledge about what you do. A desire simply to do good work.

If you think you wrote the book on anything, you're wrong.

Unfortunately, the game these days is built on hot. Hot jocks. Hot actors. Hot agents. Hot trends. Hot shows. The cover of Vanity Fair is incestuously hot. That's great; heat sells. But six months later, who cares? Look at a top-ten list of the most powerful people in Hollywood from ten years ago. Make it five years ago. How many are around today? Quick, who was last year's hot supermodel?

There's nothing wrong with being hot as long as you have some perspective. Every day - hot or not - I wake up asking myself, "How can I stay myself?" Meaning, how can I not buy into my own heat, or at least not worry about whether or not I'm hot. How can I just do what I do, what I've always done, ignore the noise, and stay humble? Okay, not humble; how about not too full of myself?

That's part of the job description whether you're a star, a chef, a fireman, or a hooker.Someone can be hot for many reasons, most of them having nothing to do with that person. She might be with a hot company. The whole industry may be hot. She might have landed in a hot film. Her team may be hot. One has to look at the big picture. Take the writers on a hit sitcom. Seinfeld is a great example. The show couldn't have been hotter and the networks naturally wanted more of the same. So in their finite wisdom the powers that be at NBC, CBS, ABC, and FOX said, "Get some of those writers from Seinfeld."

When the season wound down they'd hire away a writer or writing team (who, if they'd been with the show a few seasons, now had producer titles), and say, "Look who we got!" They'd sign these writers for three years at two million dollars a year. And for what? The hope that they'd come up with some good ideas and create big hits.

Are the writers hot? It only seems that way. There were many writers on that show, but the bottom line is that Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld really came up with most everything, and the writers collaborated on the rest.

Three years later many of the hot writers with the big deals still haven't sold a script or had a pilot picked up, and when their contracts expired they couldn't get a job. With all that money, they can play a lot of golf.

Circumstances made them hot.

Look at the actors on Seinfeld. All are good actors who do quite well - and continue to. But the networks thought the Seinfeld magic would continue if each actor had his own show. What happened? Failed show. Failed show. Failed show. Meanwhile, only Larry David, who writes a show for himself on HBO, has a hit. I'm not knocking any of these people, but they were just on the right show, with the right chemistry, written by two geniuses, at the right time. Too bad they didn't have geniuses writing their next shows. And by the way, I'm not blaming them for doing those shows. I'd take the money and keep working, too. It's the networks expectations that were way off, and their overhyped belief that the public would automatically buy it. When big expectations crash, the sound of failure is louder. When will they learn?

Probably not soon enough.

The irony is that the more you worry about staying hot, the more likely you are to get cold. The trick is to keep doing exactly what you did before success arrived instead of trying to protect your accomplishments. Or copy them.

There's a big market for hot because, beyond the heat, the hope is that hot will become good. It happens, mostly to people with talent and a good attitude. How do you tell? Ask these questions: Do they think they're hot? Are they full of themselves? If so, chances are they're not paying attention to the work and they'll never get good.

My desires have always been straightforward: Do good work and try to not get killed. I just want to continually expand my horizons and ignore the distractions.

But sometimes you need a little wake-up call. Mine was a classic.

Years ago, for a time, I couldn't have been hotter. I was so hot that maybe I had a little heat stroke. My wife and I got invited to the Golden Globes because someone I represented was nominated. We pulled up in the limo. Outside were hundreds of reporters and photographers. We got out of the car and stepped onto the red carpet. I straightened my tuxedo and looked up. Instead of flashbulbs popping and the press yelling my name, all I heard was one voice say, "Ah . . . it's no one."

I'm still around, though. I represent people who are good, not just hot. Longevity is the difference between the two, and learning how to tell the difference ensures it.

Copyright © 2005 Phyllis Curott

About the Author

Bernie Brillstein is the founding partner of Brillstein-Grey Entertainment, the most powerful management/production company in Hollywood. Bernie's current personal clients include Rob Lowe, Wayne Brady, Martin Short, and Saturday Night Live creator/producer Lorne Michaels. During his career, Bernie has also represented Jim Henson, John Belushi, Gilda Radner, and many others. Brillstein is also the author, with David Rensin, of Where Did I Go Right?: You're No One in Hollywood Unless Someone Wants You Dead.