On Circumcision

Totally Private: Answers to the Questions Lovers Long to Ask
by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd

(Page 6 of 7)

Dear Joan,
I'm a forty-two-year-old uncircumcised man and I was wondering whether the fact that I'm not circumcised makes a difference in the way a woman feels while we're making love. No one I've ever been with has ever commented on it, but I notice that the first time with a woman, she's very curious about my foreskin, since I guess it's unusual. Does it feel different for a woman? Is there anything I should do differently when we're making love?
Eugene from Paris

Dear Eugene,
Since I'm of an age where most of the men of my generation were circumcised as a matter of course just after they were born, I've been with only one man who was not circumcised, and that was a long time ago. I don't remember noticing anything different, but who knows?

Let me give you a few facts, then I'll add some letters from visitors to my website. As most people already know, circumcision-the removal of the foreskin-is a practice that goes back to antiquity. However, like breast-feeding and the use of pacifiers, circumcision goes into and out of fashion. It was widespread in the forties, fifties, and sixties, when doctors and parents were convinced that it was a good idea for hygiene. Now, circumcision rates in America are below sixty percent, and elsewhere, the number of boys who are circumcised at birth varies tremendously from country to country.

What should you do differently? For the uncircumcised man, careful cleaning is important. I've received several letters from women who enjoy performing oral sex but find that their uncircumcised partner has an unpleasant odor. Enough said. Other than that, nothing different is necessary during lovemaking. As for the feel of a circumcised penis, here are some responses from visitors. The mix of responses is, I think, a reflection of the fact that everyone is different and responds differently to varied situations. And, of course, anything new is exciting.

Dear Mrs. Lloyd,
My former husband was circumcised, my current lover is not, and I can tell you that uncircumcised is absolutely the FINEST! I just love the way my guy's foreskin slides down when he gets hard and ready for me. There is something very primal and exciting in that.

I love to play with the foreskin when I give him oral sex, too. I just call it an "added attraction." So don't let anyone tell you that uncut is necessarily messy or dirty. It's not. Hygiene is dependent on the individual, and of course good habits are important. My lover is squeaky clean and a real joy. Give me an uncircumcised man any time. And I find that since his sexual responses are greater, I find myself coming just over his pleasure.
Annette

Dear Joan,
My husband was uncircumcised when we were first married and we enjoyed wonderful lovemaking. Since he had had an injury to his foreskin years before we met and it caused him increasing discomfort, his doctor eventually recommended that he be circumcised. After he had the surgery, our lovemaking became even better. I like the feel of the ridges on the head of his penis when he enters me, and when I nibble the head of his penis there seems to be more enjoyment for him. So yes, we both felt the difference.
Marcy

Dear Joan,
I've been with a lot of guys, some circumcised, some not, and I really don't notice any difference when we make love. Some men are good lovers and some aren't, and the way their penises are "arranged" doesn't matter to me at all. I have lots of girlfriends, and we've had some pretty frank discussions on all topics. One day recently the subject of circumcision came up, and it was really interesting. Some of my girlfriends say it feels different, but most don't, and they argued about it for a long time. "It feels better." "It doesn't feel any different." I guess it's all a matter of taste.
Petra

Dear Joan,
I was a little taken aback and surprised when I first discovered that my boyfriend hadn't been snipped, but then I discovered that the foreskin was wonderful for spontaneous hand jobs, as there is no other lubrication required. He is aware of the potential odor and other problems, so he takes really good care of himself and I never have a problem with how he tastes or smells. In truth, the actual sex doesn't really feel all that different, as once he's truly hard, the extra skin pulls down towards the base and out of the way.

I have a theory that uncircumcised men have more sensitivity on and around the head of their penis because the foreskin protects it when wearing jeans, etc. I know that my nipples aren't as sensitive as my vagina, maybe also due to constant contact with my bra and other clothing. I haven't been able to prove whether it's true or not, but I sure do enjoy playing with him. Jenny

So, Eugene, does it feel different? I guess it depends on the individual. I'm sorry I can't give you a definitive answer.
Joan

Dear Joan,
I'm an uncircumcised man and I'm wondering about adult circumcision. Is it painful? Will it feel different for me when I make love?
Kurt

Dear Kurt,
The best thing for you to do is talk to a doctor, either your internist or urologist, about the process and the changes it might bring. Let him or her explain, in detail, what to expect as far as the actual procedure, the recovery, and the effect on your love life. Don't be embarrassed to ask all kinds of questions, and keep asking until you're satisfied with the answers. You can also do some research online. Use any search engine, and look for "circumcision." You'll probably have to wade through lots of X-rated sites advertising photos of both circumcised and uncircumcised men, but eventually you should find lots of good information.

A word on surfing the Net for information. Please be careful to check the source of any material you find. Remember that sites hosted by the best hospitals will be mixed with Joe Blow's opinion and, even worse, John Smith's misinformation. Take care. I thought I'd also send you two letters from visitors to my web-site who had it done. They had far different experiences.

Dear Joan,
Until the age of almost forty I was uncircumcised. Sex was great and I never thought about having myself changed. Then I met my current wife, and for religious reasons she asked me to be circumcised. I loved her and had no problem with undergoing the simple procedure.

I had the operation, which was no problem at all. I did have one small problem during the healing process; I found that it was difficult to control my erections due to the new sensations, including the stitches. After a few weeks, however, my penis was fully healed and we could finally make love. Wow, what a feeling. I could feel a lot more, and I got so hard that it seemed that my penis hardly fit in my skin. After a while the excitement of this diminished somewhat.

I have to say that masturbation is also different. Before, I would rub the head of my penis while rolling my foreskin up and down, and obviously that is no longer possible. I now masturbate holding the shaft of my penis, and the tightness of my skin on the head is very exciting. My wife definitely prefers the new model and says that she now can feel the head of my penis better than before. And what's more, we both love the look of my new penis!
Tony

Dear Joan Elizabeth Lloyd, Several years ago I decided to have my penis cut. You know, have the foreskin removed. I visited the doc and he said it was going to be a simple procedure, and I know that it is for many men. It wasn't for me. For some reason the local anesthetic didn't work properly and it hurt like hell. The healing was slow and, according to the doc, more painful than it should have been.

I guess it's pretty simple for most people, but for me it was a nightmare. I had a friend tell me that the definition of minor surgery is "someone else's." Well, this was mine and it certainly wasn't minor.
Carl

Kurt, I guess it depends on who you ask, but the majority of letters have been from men who had little problem with the procedure. Check it out with your doctor, and good luck with it.
Joan

Copyright © 2001 by Joan Elizabeth Lloyd

About the Author

Hi. I'm Joan Eliabeth Lloyd. Let me tell you a bit about myself.