The Toolbox

Power Tools for Women
by Joni Daniels

Your Personal Tool Kit for Power - at the Office and at Home

In her popular "Power Tools for Women" workshop, management consultant Joni Daniels teaches women how to be more effective and efficient at work and at home. The key is to tap into the metaphor of the tool kit. Too few women grow up wielding power tools and enjoying the sense of accomplishment and self-sufficiency they impart. With her new book, Daniels equips you with eleven power tools - invaluable skills you can transport between work and home. With conviction and a dose of humor, she explains how and when to use them to be more successful in every part of your life. Your new tool kit includes:

• The Demolition Hammer: to break the rules
• The Electrical Sensor: to follow your intuition
• The Power Drill: to get the right information
• Safety Goggles: to create your vision of success . . . and more

Whether you're juggling work/life responsibilities, reentering the employment market, or striving to achieve your goals, this book will give you the right tools for the job.

Portable Power

Do you panic when you discover that you've left the house without your purse? I do. It contains my wallet that holds cash and credit cards, my driver's license, and the required insurance information. It's got my Palm Pilot ready with my schedule, every phone number I could ever need, and a list of the things I must remember to do.

These are my essentials, what I need to stay on track. Your essentials might include a cell phone, Filofax, or paperback. You might sling a small tote or a major briefcase. But no matter what you carry or how you carry it, you probably feel you're packed and ready for whatever might come your way.

It's also important to remember your toolbox. Your "toolbox"? Sure. It's as vital to your success in business and at home as your other bag of tricks. Think I'm joking? No, I'm not suggesting you carry around thirty different screwdrivers or a fifty-pound steel sledgehammer. I'm talking about powerful interpersonal skills like a Power Saw to cut away the people and situations that drag you down, an Electrical Sensor to pick up the signals you miss from other people and the clues your internal voice wants you to hear, and nine other tools I'll show you how to pack and use in this book. As it increases your effectiveness and efficiency, the right Power Tool can make a world of difference in your success both in the workplace and at home.

You Already Own a Toolbox

Whether you spend your days in the boardroom or the classroom, in the administrative office or on the sales road, in the skyscraper or the split-level, there are certain essential tools you need to build a structure for personal satisfaction and professional success. And, unlike those other gadgets that you shed with your panty hose when you arrive home, your toolbox, if you use it often and consciously enough, will stay with you wherever you go. The good news is that you probably already own a lot of Power Tools, but you haven't learned how to apply them universally. In this book, I'll show you how to use every Power Tool and how to exploit them to your best advantage. This book will allow you to view situations at work and at home with the same clarity, and to deal with your boss, coworkers, spouse, children, and friends more effectively using the Power Tools that you have at your fingertips.

Who Needs Another Gimmick?

Does the idea of the toolbox strike you as too gimmicky to be useful? Some women who attend my seminars are initially reluctant to embrace the metaphor. A few even admit to some not-so-gentle ribbing they've taken from men about my whole Power Tools concept. However, as I explain more about the concept, these same women are quickly converted to Power Tool owners and supporters, because the messages resonate with their own experiences. As girls, many were told they couldn't handle real power tools, but today women are putting hammer to nail and plaster to wallboard in growing numbers. In the workplace, they receive both implicit and explicit messages about their inability to handle genuine authority and position, as well as the extended dues paying that's required to qualify them for advancement and opportunities. They now see that the idea that women can't handle authority is another work of fiction.

Some people may joke about the Power Tools concept, but it's an efficient shorthand. There are lots of smart gimmicks serving as memorable attention-grabbing devices: chicken soup makes you feel better; you can understand just about anything explained for dummies; people from different planets, like Mars and Venus, need help communicating; and Power Tools are portable devices that make you more effective wherever you go.

Why Write Power Tools for Women?

For over twenty years, as a business and management consultant, I've talked about Power Tools to both men and women. Without fail, the men ask for validation that the solutions they already use are the best ones. But the women often hesitate and instead ask, "How can I become more powerful?" We don't seem to know that we already hold powerful tools in our hands!

I also realized that men can turn to their dads, mentors, friends, or bosses (aka the "old-boy network") to learn about Power Tools, but women can't ask their mothers about Soldering Irons to forge stronger interpersonal connections on the job. We can't question our book club sisters about Batteries and Rechargers to get the energy we require to struggle through an upcoming ordeal. And if we don't get a grip on our own toolbox, we won't ever be able to equip our own daughters with such fundamentals as Safety Goggles, which allow us to picture a clear goal and share it with those who will help it become a reality.

That's why you have this book: to level the floor and learn the secrets that men already know and women are longing to learn.

Baby boys and baby girls start life with identical Power Tools and equal potential for their use. Traditionally, Industrial Arts class was the boys' domain. Girls were encouraged to become adept at developing expertise with the tools of the kitchen and sewing nook. We became masters of the pinking shears and the electric mixer. Consciously and unconsciously, girls learn a discrete set of "girl skills" and are encouraged to forget some of our more universal tools completely.

The women in my seminars give me the same examples of this compartmentalization of skills over and over. Lisa's mother told her to "hide her brain" to attract boys. Sheila figured out in class that she should never show her real feelings. Meg's boss told her that arguing would alienate managers. Sandy learned from TV and magazines that she should focus on her appearance. Lila, who is single with three children, once declined a promotion because she felt her male colleague, the primary breadwinner in his family, "deserved" it more. Today, they're amazed by their willingness to accept such limitations. But at the time, they behaved according to the loudest voice in their brains, the voice that pushed for them to relinquish their power.

When we were boxed out of shop class, we were also boxed out of the power and autonomy it would have provided us. Those messages didn't disappear when we became women. They were stored away in our brains for later use. Now, when we are asked to pick up a drill, it feels unfamiliar and cumbersome in our hands. We don't think of power tools as instruments for women. Do you want something done that requires a power tool? Call your dad, brother, husband, or son, or hire a handyman.

Times have changed. Shop class is encouraged for the entire student body, but it's still not a place where the girls outnumber the boys. The corporate doors have opened wider for women, with business schools and law schools touting their highest percentage of women graduates ever. But managing partners and CEOs are still predominantly male, even after years of women filling the pipeline for the top slots.

Women reflect their discomfort with Power Tools even in the way we speak. Men use the declarative voice. Their sentences are strong statements that end with a period or an exclamation point.

"I have an idea that you'll like."

"I'm going to the meeting."

"I'm not interested right now."

"This will be great!"

Women use other punctuation. Their sentences are generally more tentative and end with dashes, commas, hyphens, or question marks.

"I think I have an idea that you'll like — "

"I'll be going to the meeting?"

"I'm don't think I'm interested right now . . ."

"This could be great?"

Women need to embrace not only all kinds of punctuation but also every skill that can be used to our advantage, setting aside gender bias. We can speak in the declarative voice. We can acquire new skills with each of our Power Tools and add to our current proficiency. We need to use our tools, not trade them.

You possess the skills required for success in any shop class. Imagination, dexterity, and persistence are abilities you use, though maybe not at a workbench. Remove the gender-laden smoke screen from the hardware store, and you can plug in a Power Saw and eliminate unnecessary barriers. With preparation and practice, it's fun to have power in your hands and use it with precision to accomplish your goals. It's easier to use Power Tools than you thought. You'll wonder what the big deal was, and you'll want to use your Power Tools more often.

Copyright © 2002 by Joni Daniels. Excerpted by permission of Three Rivers Press, a division of Random House, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.

About the Author

Joni Daniels is the founder and principal of Daniels & Associates, a consulting group specializing in personal and professional development. Her clients include FannieMae, Educational Testing Services, Marriott International, Merck, the Department of Defense, AIG Life Companies, and more. She lives outside Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.